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We used to have that problem in the family. One or two sibs would say, "Oh, we are all going in on __________for Mom and Dad for Christmas. Your share is $300." Sometimes I had already purchased something for them. Sometimes $300 was just too much for me to cough up at the time. I really wanted to reply, "What you mean "we", Kemosabe?" (For you youngsters, that's a Lone Ranger and Tonto joke....)
So I had to start saying "Nope, sorry, I've already bought something" and finally, I got it through to them that they needed to clue me in on the plans BEFORE they had purchased the item and wanted me to pay my "share". This is always a dilemma when a couple of sibs are very much more well-to-do than other ones and just can't visualize that this would be a problem for anyone.
this looks like a one time thing in crisis, to cheer up your mom. Look at it as an un expected expense for moms well being. Give your sister a lecture on consulting with you before deciding or even offering your pockets to any expense. Your sister is not asking for you to pay her portion of the trip, just half of moms portion. Its not so bad, since you can afford it.
I would pay up, and remind your sister, just before handing her money, that you will not do this again. If it aint an emergency, she should not even ask you again. Your sister was trying to cheer mom up, and did a good dead taking a trip with her. Dear old mom will be needing attention for the next few years, so maybe you guys can take turns spending time with her.
If there are other siblings involved, it should be split down the middle.
No way. It's great that she wanted to do something thoughtful for your mom to help her in her grieving process - but this is was an experience between your sister and your mom - you were not included, this wasn't your idea, and you didn't agree to it in advance. The fact that it didn't live up to your sister's romantic expectations does not obligate you to pay.
My Dad died a few months ago and everyone in the family felt sorry for Mom now having to live at home all alone. One of my sisters broke out her credit card and booked a cruise for her and Mom to help ease her pain. Mom had a good time but she drove my sister crazy talking non stop for a week.
I gave my sister credit for putting up with her and spending the week with Mom. But now my sister wants me to pay for half the cost of the trip.
I am conflicted. I did not go on the cruise and would hate it. I have a distant relationship with Mom and find her impossible to spend more than a few hours with. Spending a whole week with her would put chills down my spine.
But I had no decision about the cruise and think my sister spent way too much money on the thing. It was not my decision, and again, I did not go, but should I pay $1200 for half of Mom's cost? (They went crazy and booked a very expensive cruise and lots of extras.)
I have the money but it is the principal of the thing.
If you were not asked to do so before the cruise or you were asked and did not agree to do so, then I would say "nope, not happening". However, if you wanted to keep the peace with your sister, and wish to be diplomatic, then you could consider giving a percentage, such as $300.00.
I have a sister who many years ago was living at home at the time cable tv and MTV were coming around and decided to order my father cable tv and she paid for the initial cost, but guess who paid the rest. He never would have gotten it for himself. Some people are sneaky and manipulative.
Check with Mom first to make sure she really went on a cruise.
Also to make sure mom didn't already pay for her share of the trip cost
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