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"I'm sorry, I'm currently in the middle of something. Additionally, I prefer to not discuss (fill in appropriate topic) at work."
Then get back to work thus ending the conversation.
Or, if that seems too abrupt or unfriendly, say something to the effect of "Oh, I'll leave that discussion to you all - it sounds as if you've got it covered!"
In the example I was thinking of, my workmates didn't respond to polite requests.
In the example I was thinking of, my workmates didn't respond to polite requests.
So use the first one. It's not impolite but it is direct and it will work if you say it confidently and continue working, disregarding any additional attempts to distract you.
I'm dubious that in various places you've worked, you've been badgered to frequently and annoyingly share your unpopular opinions, then subsequently lost your job as a result.
Or perhaps I've misunderstood what you are saying?
Last edited by maciesmom; 09-05-2017 at 09:00 PM..
So use the first one. It's not impolite but it is direct and it will work if you say it confidently and continue working, disregarding any additional attempts to distract you.
I'm dubious that in various places you've worked, you've been badgered to frequently and annoyingly share your unpopular opinions, then subsequently lost your job as a result.
Or perhaps I've misunderstood what you are saying?
A person who wants to cause problems can spin "direct and confident" into "threatening." A moral and mature person would just leave me alone, but that's not what I've been dealing with.
Maybe my problems with co-workers has nothing to do with my failure to keep a job, and I'm reading too much into it. But when my most recent supervisor terminated my probation period, he said I had a lot of technical skills (I work IT), but he needed a reliable group, which alluded to the problems I've had getting along with my co-workers.
It's not like I don't have friends outside work, although all of the relocating I've had to do when I was hired and then laid off has caused a strain on people in my life, including a ruined marriage engagement (not trying to write a sob story, I'm just saying I wasn't some loner without a social circle).
I prefer working with the silent ones or the quiet ones. Hands down. Any Day.
Sorry to hear things went that way. Maybe your next job will be better.
Maybe the ruined engagement is really a Blessing in disguise - maybe someone
much better will come a long later.
The one who talks to much would be the annoying one. The person who is quiet is probably working since you are at work. Or maybe they are just not interested in talking to you.
A person who wants to cause problems can spin "direct and confident" into "threatening." A moral and mature person would just leave me alone, but that's not what I've been dealing with.
Maybe my problems with co-workers has nothing to do with my failure to keep a job, and I'm reading too much into it. But when my most recent supervisor terminated my probation period, he said I had a lot of technical skills (I work IT), but he needed a reliable group, which alluded to the problems I've had getting along with my co-workers.
It's not like I don't have friends outside work, although all of the relocating I've had to do when I was hired and then laid off has caused a strain on people in my life, including a ruined marriage engagement (not trying to write a sob story, I'm just saying I wasn't some loner without a social circle).
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with this issue. Since it seems it's more than a one time deal have you considered a few counseling sessions to help you navigate appropriate workplace relationships? Much of workplace success is the "fitting in" as much as the talent/knowlege. It would be worth the effort to figure out. Good luck.
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with this issue. Since it seems it's more than a one time deal have you considered a few counseling sessions to help you navigate appropriate workplace relationships? Much of workplace success is the "fitting in" as much as the talent/knowlege. It would be worth the effort to figure out. Good luck.
Getting badgered into revealing your opinion is an "appropriate" workplace relationship? In today's contentious society where everything is framed as "us vs them," and in an employer's market where employee demand has diminished, I can believe it.
Getting badgered into revealing your opinion is an "appropriate" workplace relationship? In today's contentious society where everything is framed as "us vs them," and in an employer's market where employee demand has diminished, I can believe it.
I didn't say that.
You clearly felt badgered. I'm saying since it happened more than once, it's quite possible you are misinterpreting the intent of your coworkers and hence responding inappropriately. Either way, it appears you could use some assistance in how to handle yourself when you are feeling that, in a way that won't cost you your job.
Nonstop talker regardless of whether I agree or not. People who can't shut up have problems.
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