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Old 10-10-2017, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,304,346 times
Reputation: 25947

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Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post

I have had this happen in the past everyone just splits the check evenly and I purposely have ordered just an appetizer and no drinks because I was broke. My dinner companions ordered several drinks, a full dinner, appetizers etc. I should have said something but was so embarrassed by it I didn't say anything.

Last weekend we went out and ordered very expensive wine. One of the women with us didn't drink, we didn't even have her pay the bill. The wine was more expensive than the dinner.

It's all what you are comfortable with. To make someone feel less than because they don't agree with you is shameful behavior.
And your one experience is not representative of what everyone's experiences are when dining out.


I will request a separate check, even if it annoys you like crazy. What do you propose to do, to stop me from doing so? It seems to me, there is really nothing you can do about it. And your comment about me trying to make someone feel "less than" (less than what?) is bizarre as well as attempting to shame me for my viewpoint. Telling someone they are "no fun" as a dining companion because they request a separate check is what is actually rather rude.
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Old 10-10-2017, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Eastern Washington
17,122 posts, read 56,797,628 times
Reputation: 18416
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
So I go out to lunch a lot with friends, so it can add up if I'm always pitching in for someone's salmon and hybiscus tea, with a dessert when I got something "down menu" with water.

I have this friend. She goes to lunch a lot with us too and she taught me this lesson - everything on the menu will taste good. I will be just as happy with the grilled chicken sandwich for 8.95 as I would with the shrimp fettuccine for $17.95, and will have just as much to show for it at the end of the meal. So it's kind of a challenge to me - a game - to keep my lunch tab under $10. Then I tip generously, like $4 - $5.

I have gone with groups where everyone has their head pulled out of their shorts and knows what they owe and are willing also to tip generously, but that's a rarity. Usually people seem to genuinely not know what they owe and tip about 10%.

So it's uncomfortable. Often the split is completely unfair, and then at the end the pot is STILL short because the person whose lunch was 2X the norm didn't even put in their full unfairly cheap 8th of the bill.
You need to find a more compatible lunch crowd to go out with. The people I hang with, we sort of have an unwritten rule that we will all order mid-price, no one goes nuts with expensive drinks or desserts. Because keep it simple. Also we need to go back to work in a reasonably timely manner.
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Old 10-10-2017, 06:37 PM
 
3,754 posts, read 4,182,573 times
Reputation: 7773
Man. 10 pages of this and the takeaway is that the vast majority of people can't figure out simple math, others take advantage of their so called friends, and there's a lot of cheap/bad tippers out there.

If you're dining with a group that you know is from a mixed income group, then ask for a separate check so you can pay your share, and if you do it, then people who have not eaten/drank expensive food will also probably follow suit.

I have a few friends that do not make much money. When we go out, I always pay for their dinner. I consider it a small price to pay to enjoy their company, because if I didn't, we'd never meet out anywhere, they can't afford a nice meal except once in a blue moon.

Some of you need to decide what is more important to you, dinner with friends, or complaining over a few bucks. If you feel like you're getting shortchanged all the time when you go out with your group of friends, perhaps it's time to find new friends to have dinner with.
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Old 10-10-2017, 07:21 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 3,743,749 times
Reputation: 4103
Well, I feel like people generally know what the table orders. If one half of the table know they ordered a bunch of food, drinks, apps, dessert, etc. and the other half gets a salad... it would be courteous for the ones who ordered way more than their friends to make sure their friends who just got the salad aren't paying for more than they ate. Unfortunately, most people either aren't aware or don't care enough to take the initiative to fairly pay their own meal.
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Old 10-10-2017, 08:53 PM
 
4,713 posts, read 3,447,775 times
Reputation: 6304
Quote:
Originally Posted by tangelag View Post
Doesn’t anyone have a calculator on their phone? I also have an app that calculates the tip. I mainly use it because I like to tip fairly and more if I so choose and because I just really hate it when my friends want to tip just the opposite way. I like to pay my share and ONLY my share (unless it is understood that I am treating someone), and I want to leave the tip that I want to leave.

There shouldn’t be any disputes about what is owed by anyone since the bills are itemized. Or am I missing something?

OP said “no one else wanted to figure out their billâ€. Not your problem. I wouldn’t worry about the possibility of the one couple getting one over on the other.
Okay, I’m quoting myself here. WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?! WT...?! PEOPLE, it’s simple math. Meal, Tax, Tip.
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Old 10-10-2017, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
15,479 posts, read 15,529,767 times
Reputation: 28462
When myself or my husband go out with friends - either separately or as a couple - we ALWAYS get separate checks. We don't drink so we're not paying for drinks for others. We rarely get an appetizer so we're not paying for what others eat. We always let the server know that we want a separate check before we order anything. This usually leads the server to ask if anyone else will need separate checks.
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Old 10-10-2017, 11:47 PM
 
13,389 posts, read 6,385,266 times
Reputation: 10022
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
When myself or my husband go out with friends - either separately or as a couple - we ALWAYS get separate checks. We don't drink so we're not paying for drinks for others. We rarely get an appetizer so we're not paying for what others eat. We always let the server know that we want a separate check before we order anything. This usually leads the server to ask if anyone else will need separate checks.
Interesting. Even when I am not in the mood to drink I sometimes buy a round of drinks for friends. Its an easy/cheap way to extend hospitality or repay something they have done for me. Ditto if it is included in a split check.
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Old 10-11-2017, 12:54 AM
 
21,108 posts, read 13,443,336 times
Reputation: 19722
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
Not sure that classy is the reason else the OP would never have known about the ensuing shortage unless the friends complained about it when they realized it.
Totally classy. Let's split it between all of us. No? OK, then we will split the missing portion between us ourselves. The OP did the math on his own. No mention was made of the friends complaining.
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Old 10-11-2017, 06:01 AM
 
2,652 posts, read 2,212,322 times
Reputation: 4999
If they're your friends, don't worry about it. Geez....why quibble over a little money? I would have paid it and not even thought twice about it. Don't FRET so much over money!!!!
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Old 10-11-2017, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Houston area
836 posts, read 1,112,308 times
Reputation: 1856
I think you have to be prepared when you go out to eat with a group. If somebody says, lets split the bill x number of ways, speak up and reply "I will pay for exactly what I ordered" (especially if you only ate an appetizer, etc.).

Ask for a separate check (I try to stick with a budget, because I don't always want to pay for part of somebody's food).

Or if no separate check, make note of what your dinner and drink costs. In advance, figure up your total with the tip. When the bill arrives, immediately place your money in the pile and leave.
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