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I didn't realize some people were bothered by this. If you are dining with people you don't know well perhaps separate checks are in order.
I know in some countries they have a thing with groups of friends where one person pays the whole bill but they all take turns being the person that pays. That requires a lot of trust because it can easily be abused. My friend from Spain said they do that there. She also said one friend tends to avoid paying more often but everyone notices it.
Maybe there's something that I simply did not know. Are restaurants set up to easily process both a card and cash for a single bill? For a table to pay that way would never occur to me.
Yes, you can give them cash and instruct to put the rest on a card.
Yes, you can give them cash and instruct to put the rest on a card.
Yes ... I suppose that if they didn't have the correct change ... there really isn't a reason why a server couldn't treat the cash like another "card" and have the system calculate the correct proportions returning any change with the run credit card slip. For an older system, there's always a calculator.
What confused me was that the amount put down on the table *included* the tip, which couldn't have gone on to the server when the card was run without explanation and been awkward. Turns out that wasn't the husband's intention (I think). He expected the cardholder (again, I think) to take out the tip before turning over the rest of the cash along with his card to be run.
And here, I wouldn't read too much into the cardholders comment that the tip was large. He may have just felt a tad awkward at his relatively smaller one. OTHO, I can see OP's point that trying to adjust the final tip on the credit card without a calculator would have been challenging and I suppose the cardholder *might* have winged it.
I *would* have assumed the entire amount was intended for me to pocket. But then since I also make the cash-payer do the math - again thinking we're foregoing that easy credit card split - I probably would have said something to the effect ... what do I do with this tip (since the amounts were unequal).
Sounds like a plan is in place to prevent a repeat. And that the friendship will continue.
I'm a little nonplused about all the responses about folks not trusting their dining companions not to both cheat them and stiff the wait-staff. Sure, I can see it say for a large bunch of co-workers. But those you're sharing an intimate dinner with?
Wow. These are not dining situations that I'd ever care to repeat. OP, I think you should tell your husband to chill.
People I know well and love have, in some cases, very different attitudes about tipping. I might trust them to be basically kind, decent people, but some kind, decent people just don’t tip well. They don’t get it. I wouldn’t trust my mom to do my taxes either, not because she is not honest but because it is not her thing.
My wife and I dine out with her sister and husband a couple of times a month. We usually just split the bill, and they always pay their half in cash. I drop my card on the bills and tell the server to put half the bill on it. I add my tip (20% rounded up to the next dollar) and they decide on their own how much of that stack of cash is a tip after their change is brought back to the table.
We don't carry much cash. Just a little "walking around" money for incidentals. I wouldn't pick up the cash from a shared check. Dinner for four in a nice restaurant can easily reach or exceed $200, especially if there's wine and the meal is followed by dessert and coffee. I don't want that much cash in my pocket.
That's why I try to order as much $ as everyone else is ordering
You order a cocktail, I'll order one too
You order the filet mignon, I'll do the same
When dining out , expect people to order stuff that might cost significantly more than you typically would
You and others misunderstand the OP, I think. The problem is not the amount. Presumably everyone paid his portion correctly.
The problem is that one of the couple's took the cash w/o asking, then charged the whole bill to their card, including the tip. They didn't ask. This means the waiter didn't get a cash tip, and the cash couple didn't even see how much of a tip was being left.
I told her that putting the amount of the bill for the food was fine (altho they should have ASKED & gotten approval), but putting the tip on the card was out of line. I would have prevented that from happening.
I've eaten out a lot with others. NO ONE has ever taken the cash tip left for a waiter by someone, and put it on his credit card. That's WAY out of line. Can't believe the cash couple was so meek and passive as to let that occur.
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