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There are ways to respond or redirect the conversation so that her humble bragging becomes apparent and makes her feel uncomfortable rather than everyone else feel inferior. Maybe others are feeling the same way as you. If you can show that you don’t feel inferior about your life and your discussions, others might pick up on it and be relieved to respond or converse in kind, because they have someone to engage with on a more level playing field, so to speak
Specific examples of what she does would be helpful so posters can suggest responses you can have ready for when this happens.
I can't "identify" in the sense of having run into it much, but I get what you're talking about. I'm acquainted with a lot of people much richer than I, but they don't talk about things related to their possessions or privileges. They talk about things like politics, or art, or books, or topical gossip.
I wouldn't try that sarcasm. I'd try something humorous but a little more direct. "Yes, Mary, but most of us aren't looking for advice about buying a Rolls."
Example 1: talking about extensive volunteering at school during school hours, and asking/suggesting the same with us. Only so many times one can say, "would love to, but we're working."
Like I said, I know it's not intentional, and she truly doesn't have a bad bone in her body. If anything, it's naivete, so as others wrote here maybe a quiet contemplative talk would work.
I have this problem with one of my sisters. She makes quite a bit more than the rest of us and lives far away in a different world, really. Everyone loves one another and it's not a big stressor, but when we do get together she innocently says things sometimes that seem almost bragging, but aren't.
It's a totally different mindset.
Example -- She was stressed out at work and with her ex and the kids so said on the phone, "I just needed a little me-time, ya know? So I booked this weekend at this little resort I like. It's nice to just get away from the kids sometimes, right?" .. and I'm thinking when I need time away from the kids, I go in the bathroom for five minutes. lol -- and before someone yells "Jealous!" I'm not. I'm perfectly comfortable with my life, just like she is with hers. There's a disconnect in understanding how the other can be, though.
She talks about her lifestyle (not really having to consider where the money goes) and if we bring something up, she looks honestly flabbergasted that we had to save up for XYZ or decided to skip having lunch out and instead have a sandwich at home, etc.
I THINK this is the kind of thing the OP is talking about. Perhaps her friend is just out of touch with other people's realities. People get comfortable with their ways and means and forget that other people don't share them.
Example -- She was stressed out at work and with her ex and the kids so said on the phone, "I just needed a little me-time, ya know? So I booked this weekend at this little resort I like. It's nice to just get away from the kids sometimes, right?" .. and I'm thinking when I need time away from the kids, I go in the bathroom for five minutes. lol -- and before someone yells "Jealous!" I'm not. I'm perfectly comfortable with my life, just like she is with hers. There's a disconnect in understanding how the other can be, though.
Well to me that example sounds like bald faced bragging. Anyone with any sense knows that most people can't just take off like that either due to responsibilities or financial constraints "ya know".
Well to me that example sounds like bald faced bragging. Anyone with any sense knows that most people can't just take off like that either due to responsibilities or financial constraints.
Maybe, but like I said the income level among all of us isn't that different per se...but all of the rest of us work outside the home to some degree. So it's not totally uncommon to hear about weekend getaways in general, just not at the snap of the fingers just 'because.'
I can identify. I had a coworker come in and solicit comments for a new skirt she just bought and told us, "I thought it was a good buy. It was only $80." This was around 1985!
Then there's my mother. Hasn't worked since she was married in 1952. She can't understand why people are under so much stress today and wants to know why we can't just walk into a business, fill out a paper application, and start the next day, since that's how she got a job when she was 18.
Or when she tells me, "I always paid my bills."
Keeping my sarcasm meter from going into the red zone and beeping loudly is difficult during these times.
Well to me that example sounds like bald faced bragging. Anyone with any sense knows that most people can't just take off like that either due to responsibilities or financial constraints "ya know".
I don’t know. I’ve seen middle income or working class people do the same type of thing around the poor (like say, not realizing 20 bucks is a big deal). I think people can just not recognize perspectives outside their own reality sometimes. It doesn’t make them bad people.
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