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I just got finished attending a 3-day offsite workshop with a few coworkers. One of them is male (40s, married) and we don't know each other well. We had the same schedule for the first two days, so we ended up eating lunch together. The third day, our schedules were different so I ended up eating lunch with different people, and assumed my coworker would do the same, no big deal. But, he messaged me asking where I was, and when I told him I was eating with other people, he got all snarky and sarcastic and has remained that way with me ever since. He's been really passive-aggressive and saying things in a "joking" manner that definitely feel weird and overreactive.
Isn't it a little strange that he would have such an over-the-top reaction just because I ate with other people? It's not like I ditched him - the way our schedules were that day, we didn't even cross paths. Why is he acting so childish?
OP, why did you respond that you were eating with other people, when in fact, the reason you didn't go to lunch with him that day was that your schedule had changed? Why didn't you just tell him your schedule was different that day?
Anyway, I agree with the others--give this guy a wide berth, now that he's shown you he's a little "off".
I just got finished attending a 3-day offsite workshop with a few coworkers. One of them is male (40s, married) and we don't know each other well. We had the same schedule for the first two days, so we ended up eating lunch together. The third day, our schedules were different so I ended up eating lunch with different people, and assumed my coworker would do the same, no big deal. But, he messaged me asking where I was, and when I told him I was eating with other people, he got all snarky and sarcastic and has remained that way with me ever since. He's been really passive-aggressive and saying things in a "joking" manner that definitely feel weird and overreactive.
Isn't it a little strange that he would have such an over-the-top reaction just because I ate with other people? It's not like I ditched him - the way our schedules were that day, we didn't even cross paths. Why is he acting so childish?
If you didnt know him too well how does he have your number??
OP, why did you respond that you were eating with other people, when in fact, the reason you didn't go to lunch with him that day was that your schedule had changed? Why didn't you just tell him your schedule was different that day?
Anyway, I agree with the others--give this guy a wide berth, now that he's shown you he's a little "off".
I did say I was "eating with other people today", but I honestly didn't think anything of it given the fact that we literally barely know each other. And it wasn't that my schedule had changed, it was that we attended different classes and there were no firm plans for lunch, no coordination had happened, etc. I definitely did not view it as a "rejection", it just wasn't that deep.
OP, why did you respond that you were eating with other people, when in fact, the reason you didn't go to lunch with him that day was that your schedule had changed? Why didn't you just tell him your schedule was different that day?
Anyway, I agree with the others--give this guy a wide berth, now that he's shown you he's a little "off".
This is what I was wondering too.
And OP's answer is kind of short. I can see how this would come off as offensive, without an explanation as to why they didn't eat together that day. OP came off as rude (although unintentionally I'm guessing) so no wonder he copped a little tude.
This is why hubs and I eat alone on cruise ships. That way we can pick who we want to eat with one what night, or just enjoy our own company.
Many people on cruise ships get very possessive of table mates. Been there done that.
Seems weird-- Im not getting how that scenario would make him upset- your merely another coworker and ate lunch together, he's married, he sounds like someone I knew who had a need for constant attention: admiration- that person had narcisstic personality disorder - I'm not at all saying this coworker does but seems really weird he would get upset that you didn't eat with him the third day.. seems like an ego thing since it's not like your dating , I don't get it
I just got finished attending a 3-day offsite workshop with a few coworkers. One of them is male (40s, married) and we don't know each other well. We had the same schedule for the first two days, so we ended up eating lunch together. The third day, our schedules were different so I ended up eating lunch with different people, and assumed my coworker would do the same, no big deal. But, he messaged me asking where I was, and when I told him I was eating with other people, he got all snarky and sarcastic and has remained that way with me ever since. He's been really passive-aggressive and saying things in a "joking" manner that definitely feel weird and overreactive.
Isn't it a little strange that he would have such an over-the-top reaction just because I ate with other people? It's not like I ditched him - the way our schedules were that day, we didn't even cross paths. Why is he acting so childish?
He sounds like am immature man-child so you need to stay far away from this person as possible.His behavior is weird and you just got a sniff of his personality...you don't want to next to anyone like that.
He sounds like am immature man-child so you need to stay far away from this person as possible.His behavior is weird and you just got a sniff of his personality...you don't want to next to anyone like that.
Everyone who had this opinion was absolutely right. As I've been working with him and getting to know him more, I see more and more that he is a mess. Deeply insecure, especially when it comes to women. Always trying to compete with them so he can be "top dog" and the one in control. It's really sad actually. He also, in some random moment of self-disclosure, referred to himself as a "nerd" and I think that's where his insecurity stems from. He just doesn't have a positive view of himself. That being said though, I stay away from him now as much as possible.
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