Should I tell my friend that his ex wife moved on? (presents, females)
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Oh lordy City Data can be a fickle place. I visited another thread about lies and lies by omission. I think the general consensus was that lies by omission were just as insidious as out right lies. Do I believe that one size fits all? No. There are exceptions to every rule. Friends are honest with each other even if it's painful. I personally would want to know if I was still wasting my time living in fantasy land as your friend is doing. Tell him the truth and help him get off of that emotional rodent wheel. He's stuck on an impossible fantasy, and needs help moving on.
If he does this ^^^ then you should tell him what you know. It would be disingenuous to withhold info like this when he asks you for advice to the contrary.
In these situations, just ask yourself what you would want him to do if the roles were reversed.
This.
And remind him as long as he is married to this woman he remains responsible for half of her debts, etc. Also, two years because of a clerical error?? Fishy....he needs to speak to his attorney.
Your friend is stuck in denial. Divorcing involves grief and loss.....Part of his denial appears to be because his wife apparently throws him a bone emotionally occasionally. She obviously hasn't done the right thing, or he would know that she has a boyfriend and has moved on.
Research some divorce support groups in your area or online and give him the information, and encourage him to attend. I've put a few links below.
It sounds like he would benefit greatly from being able to talk about and hear others tell about their pain re: divorce. Other folks would share and confront him about his denial....that is what groups do.
It would help him, and it would get you off the emotional hook because it would free you from your feelings of personal responsibility. It is very draining having to deal with someone you care about who refuses to hear your advise, and keeps discussing the same issues without any growth. You've become an emotional hostage....and as long as he can vent to you he may never move on.
He's going to find out eventually. If you DON"T tell him, are you going to be able to lie to him if he asks you if you knew about it?
This might affect your relationship with your friend if you don't tell him, and it might also if you DO tell him.
You know him better than any of us, so it's up to you to decide which would be worse for everyone involved.
If he is a friend you care about, talk him into going into therapy to figure out his emotions. that is the best you can do. a shoulder to listen is all nice and dandy, but it only puts you in the middle of things. hey, therapy is not for week or crazy people, its is for lessons on how a person should move on with their life. Divorce sucks, but life is still long ahead of him.
My friend is going through a divorce that his wife initiated. His wife filed for divorce two years ago and moved out of the house immediately after filing. However, the divorce is not final due to some clerical error made in one of the forms. The (soon to be ex) wife is dragging her feet in correcting the paperwork.
My friend is interpreting that as a glimmer of hope that maybe she still has feelings for him. What he doesn't know is that she already has a new boyfriend.
Should I tell him that she moved on in order to help him move on? I'm trying to stay out of this since this is none of my business, but my friend keeps on talking about her and keeps on asking for my advice in trying to "win" her back. I want to tell him about the boyfriend so he can cut his losses and start a new chapter in life, but he is very depressed and he also happens to own an arsenal of guns. I am fearful of a worst case scenario where he finds out about the boyfriend and decides turn the gun on himself or someone else.
Don't just offer it to him, but if he keeps bugging you for advice, then sure...... tell him the truth. That she's riding a new pony.
My friend is going through a divorce that his wife initiated. His wife filed for divorce two years ago and moved out of the house immediately after filing. However, the divorce is not final due to some clerical error made in one of the forms. The (soon to be ex) wife is dragging her feet in correcting the paperwork.
My friend is interpreting that as a glimmer of hope that maybe she still has feelings for him. What he doesn't know is that she already has a new boyfriend.
Should I tell him that she moved on in order to help him move on? I'm trying to stay out of this since this is none of my business, but my friend keeps on talking about her and keeps on asking for my advice in trying to "win" her back. I want to tell him about the boyfriend so he can cut his losses and start a new chapter in life, but he is very depressed and he also happens to own an arsenal of guns. I am fearful of a worst case scenario where he finds out about the boyfriend and decides turn the gun on himself or someone else.
Stay out of it!
Or, only tell family member about his depression and "arsenal".
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