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^^^^ and this^^^ is why I am not allowing a funeral when I die. If people need an opportunity to get together to remember, cry , laugh, get or give comfort they can darn well do it on their own time. I'm appalled at the people who stand around people's coffins laughing and talking about the good ole days. Nothing at all selfish about people not wanting that non-sense going on while their body is on display.
I kind of find it weird too........ why wait till they are lying there in a coffin to do all that? I went to see as a kid where there were multiple viewing days- why??
I have put into writing that I don't want a formal funeral service, and that my sister is to be appointed my POA upon my death. She's also the beneficiary of my life insurance. She will be the one to do the planning of any events after I pass. I did all this because I know that if left to my mother, she would plan a big Catholic funeral complete with a full mass. Considering I never attend church and have actually been against organized religion most of my adult life, I can't think of anything more disrespectful than to have a full religious service to memorialize me. If my mother wants to go to church on her own and pray or whatever to help her with her grieving process, that's up to her.
Meanwhile, my sister knows my wishes for any sort of memorial gathering she wishes to hold. Keep it light and fun, make sure there's plenty of bourbon, and invite my drag queen friends to perform if they wish.
First off, I want to say I purposefully didn't put this under Grief and Mourning. If a mod wants to move it, thats fine... as it is related... but I'm not actually in grief or mourning or need help in that regards.
Anyway, I can't understand why someone wouldn't want a funeral. I respect my aunts wishes, but a funeral isn't for the dead, but for the living. Her mother has been so distraught and even said she was angry with my aunt, hopefully with time that will pass.
This is more of a rant then anything, while I really do respect my aunts wishes for what she wants and we can all choose how we end and are remembered, but I don't agree with her, I think not allowing the family closure was a really selfish decision. I can understand if the family had financial problems or some family disputes, but there are none. Her passing was expected as she had been fighting cancer and she fairly well planned out her final days, even though it came sooner then expected.
My aunts sister is still planning a get together to remember her, but it's a very casual affair at her house, which is fine. But, technically my aunt even requested not to have that. I guess, my point is, besides a rant, is that I hope people will rethink not having a funeral. I think its a way to make us understand that life really is over. It doesn't feel like she is gone at all... Anyway, rant over... Maybe someone can offer a different perspective and make me change my mind or at least help me understand why someone would make a choice like this.
Funerals are not for the dead person, it's t to try to bring closure and finality to the surviving family. Maybe your aunt didn't want any occasion to mark her death, but maybe some family members need to say good bye in their own way. Besides, if your dead aunt doesn't like it, what's she going to do, haunt you?
Funerals are not for the dead person, it's t to try to bring closure and finality to the surviving family. Maybe your aunt didn't want any occasion to mark her death, but maybe some family members need to say good bye in their own way. Besides, if your dead aunt doesn't like it, what's she going to do, haunt you?
Sure. They can find some way to grieve and say goodbye in their own way, but why must that involve holding a ceremony commemorating and honoring her when it clearly doesn't represent her or her wishes? They can do something on their own to grieve.
Sure. They can find some way to grieve and say goodbye in their own way, but why must that involve holding a ceremony commemorating and honoring her when it clearly doesn't represent her or her wishes? They can do something on their own to grieve.
I would think that holding a ceremony and commemorating her clearly comes under "doing something on their own to grieve."
Sure. They can find some way to grieve and say goodbye in their own way, but why must that involve holding a ceremony commemorating and honoring her when it clearly doesn't represent her or her wishes? They can do something on their own to grieve.
If that's something that you might disagree on, as an invited guest, you are free to decline the invitation. I had a similar situation with my father's death, he wasn't a particularly religious man so he never wanted a big burial ceremony (in fact, he was cremated). I kind of wanted a place to go that was commemorated for him, but my mother and brother said no, I respected their wishes but they weren't interested in respecting mine. So, I did my own thing quietly.
Non authorized ash dumping doesn't require a permit nor preapproval. You can report it if you want a record of it. I doubt anyone would care if my ashes are mixed with my animals. They wouldn't be able to prove it once I'm dumped in the ocean anyways.
Non authorized ash dumping doesn't require a permit nor preapproval. You can report it if you want a record of it. I doubt anyone would care if my ashes are mixed with my animals. They wouldn't be able to prove it once I'm dumped in the ocean anyways.
I doubt there's anyone in Leavenworth doing 10 years on a pollution charge from dumping Fido's body in the ocean.
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