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I just happen to have the OPINION that maintaining some friends other than a spouse in MY life is a smart investment. (My spouse took a powder a long time ago. He's on Wife No. 4.)
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Then do that, but don't tell other people they can't have their spouse as their best friend.
Now you're just being obtuse. The point is to not be so insular that the spouse (or any ONE other person) is someone's complete and whole world.
Maybe every last one of them will leave or die first. But it's unlikely they'll all take their exit at the same time.
I think here is where we get the idea that a spouse shouldn't be someone's whole world.
I have coworkers that think I don't have any friends. They are single people that didn't quite get how 2 people can be so close. Many say that if they ever meet someone special, get married or whatever, they would still want to hang with their girl friends separately from their husbands. That is their choice. Whatever works for you. But, I would point out here that most cheating occurs based on availability. If these women spend too much time away from their husband, they leave the door wide open for him to look for companionship outside the relationship...I'm just saying.
My husband and I rarely to never did anything separately while he was still alive. We were each others best friend. I cant even say we went out with other couples except for every once in a blue moon. Those few couples have separated, died, moved away, etc.
We had many acquaintances, neighbors etc. They moved, died, etc. too. I have a couple people I meet up with occasionally, that I have known for years, and I really enjoy their company. All that being said, I am not retired yet. Work is rather draining. I happen to get up very early, and by the time I get home, walk the dog, and eat - I'm pretty much done for the day, lol.
Personally, I expect I'll be more social once I'm retired. Until then, I'm fine with myself, and the pup. I will add here that I was raised by grandparents and am an only child. I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone was my grandparents age, and except for visiting grandkids, I really had no one but myself and the family dog to play with.
I'm naturally comfortable in my own skin and by myself. If I grew up with siblings, cousins etc. all around me all the time, I might naturally have a stronger need for people around all the time.
In the end, I agree that good friends are like a precious gem. Rare, far and few between. They should be treassured when you find them.
Then do that, but don't tell other people they can't have their spouse as their best friend.
You actually can't. To me, a friend and a spouse are mutually exclusive. Friends are complete equals. Spouses have an authority differential. And in today's marriages, the wife is almost always in charge. And if someone is in charge of you, they're a boss, not a friend.
What you should have said was: "that's likely the only friend you'll ever have" or "I'm sure that's not by choice"
Something like that would have been a much wittier zinger. Not sure why you didn't take the clear opportunity I so obligingly presented to you. I'm just having some fun, don't mean to upset anyone and sincerely wish you the best.
What you should have said was: "that's likely the only friend you'll ever have" or "I'm sure that's not by choice"
Something like that would have been a much wittier zinger. Not sure why you didn't take the clear opportunity I so obligingly presented to you. I'm just having some fun, don't mean to upset anyone and sincerely wish you the best.
I don't sit around thinking of zingers or sarcasms.
I think here is where we get the idea that a spouse shouldn't be someone's whole world.
And what I said was in response to a rather black and white interpretation of someone else's comment. My goodness, it's an opinion and a recommendation not a commandment from me, the Grand Poobah on High.
I've said what I had to say. I'll go fluff some feathers someplace else.
I don't sit around thinking of zingers or sarcasms.
That's sad. Your life must be very empty and void of fun. I'd guess leading a Hallmark slogan existence is difficult. You must be a very strong person emotionally but I bet I can take you in arm wrestlng.
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