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If your mother had a falling out, the family is trying to reconnect, she's ignoring them, AND insisting you disassociate, too; that is an issue.
However, if that isn't the case and you aren't close to the family anyway, why go?
Does your mother have a history of manipulating and controlling you? Are you sure your cousin didn't invite you simply to get back at your mother? Was your mother also invited?
My mother said she received a text invite, but she doesn’t want to go anyway. I received an invite via Facebook months ago and I RSVP’d “yes”, so I don’t want to go back on my response. My cousin is renting out a place and had to provide a headcount so it’s not just like an informal thing at her house (otherwise I’d be more likely to skip it). Although I don’t consider us particularly close now, we were closer when we were kids and I think she’s a nice person. My mom can be problematic and she always gets upset when I don’t agree with her on things.
I think it's best to appear neutral. Choosing to go now when you avoided going before is not a neutral move. You could avoid this one like all the others and just send a gift. Wait and see if it blows over.
I’ve only heard my mom’s version of events and my opinion is that my mom and my cousin were both wrong. But like I said, I don’t even have a relationship with that particular cousin so it’s not like I’m taking her side by going to her sister’s party. My point is that I don’t have a problem with her sister, and I shouldn’t have to act like I do just because my mom is still mad at everyone.
According to my mom I'm suppose to hate all 4 of my sisters ex husbands and I don't. My husband is really good friends with one of them. So we just don't talk about them and change the subject if she brings it up. Why does she even know you are going? Did you volunteer it or did she ask? From now on don't bring any of these things up and just live your life. She doesn't have to know where you are going and who with.
My mother said she received a text invite, but she doesn’t want to go anyway. I received an invite via Facebook months ago and I RSVP’d “yes”, so I don’t want to go back on my response. My cousin is renting out a place and had to provide a headcount so it’s not just like an informal thing at her house (otherwise I’d be more likely to skip it). Although I don’t consider us particularly close now, we were closer when we were kids and I think she’s a nice person. My mom can be problematic and she always gets upset when I don’t agree with her on things.
The bold: that little detail changes everything if the invite came before the falling out. You should go. Your previous posts sounded like you agreed to go after the falling out which is why it seemed you have an ulterior motive.
The bold: that little detail changes everything if the invite came before the falling out. You should go. Your previous posts sounded like you agreed to go after the falling out which is why it seemed you have an ulterior motive.
No, I did receive the invite months ago but it WAS after the argument. But still, the argument wasn’t a factor for me in deciding whether I should accept the invite because like I said, I don’t feel like it has anything to do with my cousin and I. We weren’t involved.
Of course you should go to the party if you want to go to the party. Your mom gets to make her decisions about who she socializes with and you get to make your decisions.
Don't discuss it further with your mom and decline to discuss the dispute when you're at the party.
Good. Then make your own decisions and your Mom will eventually get over it.
You’re right. She hung up on me earlier today when we were talking on the phone and I mentioned the party, so I didn’t appreciate that. I don’t ever hang up on her even when I don’t like what she’s saying.
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