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So, this question is more targeted towards those mid 35 and up. The vast majority of people get married by this age, have kids and get into a fixed 9-5 routine, they find purpose for their life mostly through their jobs, taking care of family responsibilities, interacting with their spouse perhaps and hanging out with extended family. This is the extended of their "adventurous" life. Some are happy with it, some wish they hadn't signed up for it.
Now, the single person in this age obviously has none of the above roles yet most have to go through the 9-5 just like their family peers, however since they have none of the other responsibilities what are you doing to take advantage of your circumstances? Are you finding purpose in your life similar to your married peers?
I see some singles doing the 9-5 routine but don't do much else, they have an opportunity to be more adventurous with their life due to a total lack of responsibilities but yet live with the "restrictions" of married people. To me this feels like the worst of both scenarios - having the freedom of the single life yet not taking advantage of it.
I see some singles doing the 9-5 routine but don't do much else, they have an opportunity to be more adventurous with their life due to a total lack of responsibilities but yet live with the "restrictions" of married people. To me this feels like the worst of both scenarios - having the freedom of the single life yet not taking advantage of it.
What do you mean by taking advantage of the single life?
Are you saying that they aren't dating?
Perhaps their lifestyle is determined by their level of income. If they don't earn a lot, they don't do a lot of extra fun stuff.
Newsflash- even single people who are 35+ don’t have a total lack of responsibilities. They might have to pay student loans or a mortgage. Being single doesn’t mean a person is adrift with no career goals, either.
I can be more adventurous in that it is easy enough for me to move to a new location for a job of interest, but I can’t just quit to go find myself if that is what “being adventurous” means. I also have no desire to go out every night and drink myself in a stupor like people like to do in their 20s. I did a lot of fun and interesting things in my 20s. I’m quite happy with how I spent my 20s, but I don’t need to recreate my 20s in my 40s. I am not 25 anymore, nor would I want to be. I can take trips without having to worry about whether it is a school holiday. However, I don’t have unlimited income or vacation days to be able to live with reckless abandon.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k374
So, this question is more targeted towards those mid 35 and up. The vast majority of people get married by this age, have kids and get into a fixed 9-5 routine, they find purpose for their life mostly through their jobs, taking care of family responsibilities, interacting with their spouse perhaps and hanging out with extended family. This is the extended of their "adventurous" life. Some are happy with it, some wish they hadn't signed up for it.
Now, the single person in this age obviously has none of the above roles yet most have to go through the 9-5 just like their family peers, however since they have none of the other responsibilities what are you doing to take advantage of your circumstances? Are you finding purpose in your life similar to your married peers?
I see some singles doing the 9-5 routine but don't do much else, they have an opportunity to be more adventurous with their life due to a total lack of responsibilities but yet live with the "restrictions" of married people. To me this feels like the worst of both scenarios - having the freedom of the single life yet not taking advantage of it.
I'm in a relationship but since my woman lives in another state. I still live the single life for the most part.
I work 45 hours a week and am in grad school but I don't party like I did because I simply ain't got the energy after work and school. But one plus is like tomorrow for Thanksgiving I can rest and finish work and not be bothered by an awkward family dinner.
The single friends that I have are in the their mid/late 30's up to mid/late 40's. Most of them devote more time to their careers, they are trying to be more upwardly mobile. A few of them don't do much of anything with their extra free time, they are the ones who aren't very ambitious.
All of them still go on vacations, some are very much into fitness, and some pick up various hobbies.
I think you have to decide what's important to you. You didn't grow up thinking: I want a job. Full stop. You probably had all sorts of dreams about what you wanted to do with your life in addition to putting a roof over your head. Revisit those dreams, pick one and run with it. For me, it was a decision to pursue another degree ... on top of a full time job. That decision has opened the door to so many opportunities, such as travel, conferences, guest speakers, grants and awards, and access to interesting people, that I can't keep up. Whether it's quilting or learning, painting or travel, figure out your thing; your childhood dream, and take baby steps towards living that dream.
I work 45 hours a week and am in grad school but I don't party like I did because I simply ain't got the energy after work and school. But one plus is like tomorrow for Thanksgiving I can rest and finish work and not be bothered by an awkward family dinner.
Grad school is no joke, hang in there.
I am sometimes sad I do not have a family dinner to attend to .... then I hear about all the stress with family and cooking and shopping and drama .... and I am glad I am not part of this!!
I just get in a car and go on a 4 day road trip and explore the world, wohooo!
My single life is only different in regards of sleeping (I sleep more when single), watch more tv (no one to talk to there) and eat healthier and cheaper.
Single or not - I have the same hobbies just him participating.
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