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I don't know if we're doomed in relationships, however finding them is way more challenging for us than extroverts.
Simply math. Less opportunities. Definitely not doomed though. An Aunt is the most introverted person I know and it took her longer than she would have liked to find the right mate, but she is now in a long-standing marriage to another introvert. They share a love of Opera and such. Used to like to travel, but the rest of the time want to be homebodies.
I'm an introvert. But, you would never guess it if you met me. I'm very outgoing in social settings. But, occasionally I need time to duck out and "hide". I rarely close a place down. I'll go for an appearance, then I'll leave. A lot of times w/o announcing I'm doing so. I'm attracted to extroverts to an extent. But, not the bouncing off the walls kind. I do believe in soul mates. You have to be willing to put yourself out there to a degree so your mate can find you.
Smart phones? Meh, I can take em or leave em. Mines rarely rings anyway. And, I don't do friends as I prefer my own company over that of others.
You and I are a lot alike. I put in appearances. After social things, I need to decompress. But you would never, ever think that I was an introvert. I think introversion must be on a continuum. Some people must be strongly introverted and suffer social anxiety. Others might be able to compensate.
I also think that there is no formula for relationships. You either click or you don't. Extraverts need to understand that introverts will have down times; introverts need to understand that extraverts need social stimulation. If their love is strong enough to figure out how to deal with different needs, then they might be OK together. If they can't then their relationship is going to be stormy, and probably doomed.
People need to respect their partners, as well as love them.
I'm an introvert. Mostly I need a partner who gives me alone time. I am fine socially in the right settings, I just don't need a lot of it...
Which mean I don't need a lot of interaction at home either. It's fine to spend quiet time with your SO and have quality convos and interactions...it just doenst have to be every night for hours.
Plenty of people are like this and would appreciate introvert traits in others. Plus I know those couples that have the one party doing all the social work while the introvert quietly shows up.
1. If your husband/ wife/ significant other is a social addict and your an introvert would it work? (Opposites attract)
2. Is it normal to want for one best friend..and that being your significant other?
3. Am I the only person that wants to get rid of smartphones (except the cool apps and games) and enjoy one persons company?
4. Does everyone need outside relations?
5. How will my “soulmate” ever meet such an introvert?
1. My partner was an extrovert and I've always been very much introverted. I think it can work if two people are understanding and empathetic towards their partner. For us, it made us more balanced at the time, I think. He began liking weekends in a lot more and I started to mind less about going out every now and then.
2. I'm not sure if it's normal, but I can relate to this. Especially when you have a child or children together, or even move away from friends and family
3. Nope. I think many introverts feel this way. I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying solitude. Some people are perfectly content this way.
4. Not everyone. I could probably go a very long time without seeing anyone if I knew feelings wouldn't get hurt. But, understandably, they would because they care.
5. At some point you'll have to put yourself out there and not expect your 'soulmate' to do all the work. But I'm in a bit of the same situation so I get it. Maybe just live your life and do the things you enjoy and by chance you'll meet someone along the way.
You and I are a lot alike. I put in appearances. After social things, I need to decompress. But you would never, ever think that I was an introvert. I think introversion must be on a continuum. Some people must be strongly introverted and suffer social anxiety. Others might be able to compensate.
I also think that there is no formula for relationships. You either click or you don't. Extraverts need to understand that introverts will have down times; introverts need to understand that extraverts need social stimulation. If their love is strong enough to figure out how to deal with different needs, then they might be OK together. If they can't then their relationship is going to be stormy, and probably doomed.
People need to respect their partners, as well as love them.
All human behavior is on a continuum, which is why Myers-Briggs tees me off. We don't fit in neat boxes, one of 16. I sort of cross boxes, myself (ISTP to ISTJ), making the paradigm sketchy in my mind.
My best friend is an extrovert. He's in a two year relationship with another one. They may, or may not, be approaching a point of divergence rather than what he would "like" which is marriage and convergence. So, he despairs. He likes to talk for hours, I indulge this for several hour stretches listening carefully and offering pointed observations. He's been complaining about this relationship about a year, I think they are a bit too different to make it long-term. There, in one sentence I said what takes them 24 hours of blah blah. She talks so much she wears him out, that's a joke if you knew the man. But it's true. Decisions I make in about two weeks or a month (stay, or go) take him six months and he's still not sure. They usually end up leaving him at some point, he being what his GF calls a "serial monogamist" and not in a nice way.
Introvert to introvert, hmm. I've mostly attracted women on the cusp, but a bit more intro than ex. The downside to true intro (that would be me), on the so-called "continuum" not with any "anxiety" whatsoever, rather indifference at-best and disdain at-worst for most people (chuckle)....is that we don't have any burning need to emotionally express ourselves to...anyone at all, most of the time. So with a partner, communication doesn't go very far or very deep. That can be hazardous. It is always deadly, eventually.
Hmm, again: last GF was in introvert, she kicked me to the curb and I didn't really ask or care why. Nice lady. We are still FB pals. No intimate conversations there whatsoever, one big basket of secrets between the two.
Prior was more of a cultural introvert, natural extrovert. We actually darn near got along, except I wouldn't drill in when she quieted down and was upset. That's the key, now isn't it, for a man to do and in the process obtain a bit more natural closeness to the partner.
Rallying 'round to OP's point, yes we're doomed. I embraced that doom decades ago, and learned to love it. Thing are a lot quieter, seems I find a true GF every few years or so, for three months to a year, then later and repeat when the disdain and relief have finally died down (after they, or I, have left that is). You are what you are, nothing will ever change that. "Anxiety" can be conquered, simply making it much easier to play in the world of extroverts when-necessary.
Bear in mind that it can be unhealthy to look to any one person to meet all your needs.
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Yes, it can work, although it would be a challenge. Introverts aren't incapable of communicating, and you'll be fine as long as you can communicate with your spouse about your feelings and expectations about social situations.
>>>That's just ridiculous. My husband and son are both introverts and they are more than capable of communicating and showing feelings. I'm an extrovert but we've never had any communication problems.
I don't believe in soulmates. Your goal is to find someone who can tolerate your quirks as well as you tolerate theirs.
I agree. "Soulmates" are what teenagers say about their boyfriend/girlfriend. It's just silly.
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