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This woman needs to learn there are compromises in life. She doesn't own the neighborhood.
OP has every right to softly illuminate his property. Period, end of story.
Neither does OP own the neighborhood and she has just as much obligation to compromise as she expects from her neighbor.
Why does The OP's right to have a light (that shines beyond her/his own yard) trump her neighbors right to not have to deal with said light?
Sounds to me that the overwhelming majority of posters on this thread must live in some god-awful HOA neighborhood where you have to ask the head nazi permission to cut your grass a certain way. That I'll never, ever understand, but hey, different strokes for different folks.
I haven't lived in an HOA property for 20 years. Got 1.3 acres to do as I please.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AJT123
This woman needs to learn there are compromises in life. She doesn't own the neighborhood.
They BOTH need to learn this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AJT123
OP has every right to softly illuminate his property. Period, end of story. If it were me I would have told the lady to FO immediately.
And your "FO" attitude is why so many complain about the state of the world today. But guess what ... the OP doesn't have "every right" to light his property. His rights end at the point where they infringe on the rights of his neighbor. Period. Actual end of story.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
No, that activity isn't for the highly educated and affluent. Did I mention affluent?
I don't live in the country for dark and quiet anyway. You and that idiot Faulkner can come over for a bonfire anytime, neighbor!
On the way ------------------------------------------------------>
Maybe the OP should go live in the country so she can turn on all the lights she wants without disturbing her neighbors. Plus, since she is so concerned with crime, she’ll have the added benefit of being safer since more crime happens in urban areas than in rural areas.
Yes, I’m glad I don’t live in one of those HOAs that some have mentioned that require residents to have their outside lights on at all times. I like it being dark at night and would never move to such a place. Neither would I live somewhere with street lights shinning into everyone’s homes.
Apparently you like the process of arguing just for the sake of arguing. Even though you have chosen not to live in an area or that's what you say, in an area where people have outdoor lighting and there are street lamps, please note neighbor DID choose to live in such an area. She didn't live in a no light zone neighborhood and then was ambushed by light using neighbors shining flood lamps into her bedroom. You have chosen to ignore what has been stated here to promote some kind of agenda or just to be acrimonious. You also ignored the part that already said we are going to ask her if she feels a motion sensor would be agreeable and if she claims she will be we will do that and then if as I predict she still complains even after the motion sensor light will tell her to leave us the hell. alone.
Neither does OP own the neighborhood and she has just as much obligation to compromise as she expects from her neighbor.
Why does The OP's right to have a light (that shines beyond her/his own yard) trump her neighbors right to not have to deal with said light?
Were you for some reason not able to read my post re sensor light maybe you didn't see that
I did leave a link earlier for an inexpensive screw in motion sensing light bulb. I imagine you know how to screw in a lightbulb. It's really not that complicated to give it a try. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQ1HSOD...&pd_rd_w=LZ6s0
I'm not saying she is right but be the better person and try. It won't cost much and you can let her know you did "something" You then did the right thing. If that's not good enough and she still complains then return the bulb and move on.
Wow, six pages in and still going strong. TL/DR the whole thing, but this seems the solution. Thanks for the link, I just ordered a couple myself.
So I think there are basically several kinds of brains. Some brains, when presented with irritating stimuli learn to tune it out and then don't notice anymore. I'm that type. There's the yappiest Jack Russell Terrier across the street that yaps nearly constantly and several neighbors are irritated but I've stopped even hearing it. Tune it out. I literally fail to register that that thing is yapping. It's only when friends come over someone will say God that dog has been barking the whole time we have been here. What?
Kids splashing in a neighborhood pool is music to my ears.
But other people aren't like that. The more they're exposes to something irritating, the more their brain focuses on it and can't let it go.
I think your neighbor is like that. She's trying to find peace in her own home but these irritants keep her from it.
And with people like that, it's not that they want to be irritated, or that they're faking being irritated, they really ARE irritated and anxious with intrusive sounds/lights/smells etc.
You bring up a good point, that people vary in mentality, so it is not as simple as black or white. There are those I've have read of on this very site, being introverted, who have apparently great difficulties just functioning within society, expecting others to "not sit near them", etc. Similarly, there is an affliction called Misophonia, with sufferers being unable to tolerate hearing others breathe, sniff, chew...any number of bodily sounds that most would not be bothered by. People are affected differently.
I am quite tolerant, but find having to hear forceful, pounding noises regularly by another on my ceiling, becomes unbearable. I don't know if anyone would like that and one should not be thought of as being "oversensitive", since there is a level of noise which becomes an invasion of another's space. This instance should not be compared to those affected by the aforementioned. Some will claim another opposing them is just being hypersensitive, in defense. Some are considerate and some are not.
An example, there have been pieces of plywood covering a leak repair made in our building driveway, for weeks now. Every time a car drives in, anyone within earshot has to hear a loud "BAM, BAM", multiple times, day and night. I will bet the condo residents on the other side of the wall don't like hearing it, especially when some drivers are not going slowly.
Just as there exists varied IQ's or EQ's (emotional quotient), whether it has to do with Myers-Briggs personality assessments, Astrological personalities, mental health issues or whatever, people vary and should not be expected to function identically, however, compassionately, I believe. This is one reason problems exist (and yet another thread that really has to do with Psychology).
But guess what ... the OP doesn't have "every right" to light his property. His rights end at the point where they infringe on the rights of his neighbor. Period. Actual end of story.
Agreed, this is true.
But I have a very, very hard time believing that a judge or mediator would see a low-wattage soft light as a nuisance. If the OP even made a single concession like a motion detector or some shielding I'd say those chances drop to 0%.
But I have a very, very hard time believing that a judge or mediator would see a low-wattage soft light as a nuisance. If the OP even made a single concession like a motion detector or some shielding I'd say those chances drop to 0%.
No doubt.
The problem that the OP continues to dance around is that he has not even stepped onto his neighbor's property to see if the light is really an issue. He is doubling down on his outrage based on pure gossip and prejudice against this neighbor.
Even a so-called "soft light" can be a nuisance if it is in just the "right" spot.
And even that neighborhood PITA can have an actual grievance every once in a while.
This ^^^ is how a child responds when someone points out their wrongdoing ... "Well SHE did it tooooooo!"
You haven't said that she's requiring that nobody has any lights. She hasn't said that she wants NO light whatsoever. That's just you grasping at straws and resorting to hyperbole in an attempt to keep advancing your argument.
She made one comment about one light that you have .. a comment that very well could be valid, but you don't actually know because 1) you haven't checked the light's impact from her side, and 2) you've heard gossip about her that you don't like.
You said you don't want bad feelings between the two of you, but you already have those. So ... now what?
Yep.
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Got 1.3 acres to do as I please. 
Did I mention affluent?
