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Old 01-20-2018, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,246 posts, read 12,889,108 times
Reputation: 54028

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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellob View Post
No, I really want to not have a knife to my throat by a 50 year old crackhead.

I'm leaving with or without my dad. If he wants to stick around, I don't feel rejected, I feel like he's a dumbass.
If all that were true, we wouldn't be having this discussion. You'd be gone already. Any sensible person would. Yet, you're still there, still trying to change your father.

I'm not going to argue with you. It's apparent that you're not in touch with your motivation and nothing I can say will change that. Perhaps at some point in the future, you'll consider my suggestion.
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Old 01-20-2018, 10:00 AM
 
3,532 posts, read 3,004,086 times
Reputation: 6324
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
If all that were true, we wouldn't be having this discussion. You'd be gone already. Any sensible person would. Yet, you're still there, still trying to change your father.

I'm not going to argue with you. It's apparent that you're not in touch with your motivation and nothing I can say will change that. Perhaps at some point in the future, you'll consider my suggestion.
The reason I'm not gone is bc I thought he wasn't getting out until 2019 at the earliest. I have free housing here. I'm not here trying to save him. I'm here trying to pay off my student loans.

Go look at the Buffalo forums and you'll clearly see that I'm planning on moving and have been asking questions about the area. I even visited and have been in contact with the hr department there.

As long as he's in prison, there's no threat to me.

I'm not trying to change anyone. I'm simply trying to find out if he's getting out earlier.

Please stop trying to make this into a different issue. Like I said, if he winds up being victimized or murdered, that's his stupidity. I'm going to look out for me.
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Old 01-20-2018, 10:03 AM
 
3,532 posts, read 3,004,086 times
Reputation: 6324
Quote:
Originally Posted by evening sun View Post
If you have never met him, is he as bad as they say? some people exaggerate a lot. But regardless, I think moving is a good idea. keep in touch with your dad by phone.
No, he's that bad. Everyone has a story about him. Like I said, he introduced his son to crack at 14. The son is doing 20 years now. His life is ruined, too.
No one has anything good to say about him.
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Old 01-20-2018, 10:05 AM
KCZ
 
4,655 posts, read 3,631,028 times
Reputation: 13275
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellob View Post
The reason I'm not gone is bc I thought he wasn't getting out until 2019 at the earliest. I have free housing here. I'm not here trying to save him. I'm here trying to pay off my student loans.

Go look at the Buffalo forums and you'll clearly see that I'm planning on moving and have been asking questions about the area. I even visited and have been in contact with the hr department there.

As long as he's in prison, there's no threat to me.

I'm not trying to change anyone. I'm simply trying to find out if he's getting out earlier.

Please stop trying to make this into a different issue. Like I said, if he winds up being victimized or murdered, that's his stupidity. I'm going to look out for me.
The situation is becoming clearer.
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Old 01-20-2018, 10:15 AM
 
3,532 posts, read 3,004,086 times
Reputation: 6324
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet bubby View Post
OP search for the VINELink site. You should be able to locate him in the system with the info on the letters, and register for updates there.
Thanks, I signed up. They still show the 2019 date. I wonder how far in advance they'd notify me if it changed.
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Old 01-20-2018, 10:21 AM
 
3,532 posts, read 3,004,086 times
Reputation: 6324
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCZ View Post
The situation is becoming clearer.
Oh, is this the part where I start getting snark?

FYI, the home I'm living in belongs to the lady I cared for for 5 years. She died, had a rm. it's currently for sale but will never sell. The rm company is more than happy to have me here until it sells or they foreclose. It's less of a liability for them since it gets maintained, insurance paid, etc so you can get off that soapbox.

And of course, I'm going to look out for me. I offered him a way out, if he doesn't want to go, I'm not going to martyr myself.

I swear, some of you are so negative and think everyone is sinister or is motivated by some pot of gold. The only thing my dad has is a pot of debt.

Next.
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Old 01-20-2018, 01:58 PM
 
160 posts, read 174,014 times
Reputation: 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by foundapeanut View Post
Move on, your dad has shown this second wife and her kid is more important to him than you.
Don't look back.

If something happens to your dad, your conscience is clean, you warned him.

OP - Is your bio mother deceased?
Do you have a family? Nobody with a family would say that... The dad is not toxic. It's the son ... Duuuuuh
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Old 01-20-2018, 05:25 PM
 
13,395 posts, read 13,457,370 times
Reputation: 35711
Not your business. Live your life. Move in 6 months. Your stepbrother and father are adults. Let them work out their stuff. You establish boundaries and stick to them.
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Old 01-20-2018, 05:49 PM
 
3,532 posts, read 3,004,086 times
Reputation: 6324
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Not your business. Live your life. Move in 6 months. Your stepbrother and father are adults. Let them work out their stuff. You establish boundaries and stick to them.
So you're saying that I don't have a right to be informed if he's going to be released early when my dad knows that the timeline of the move was to be sure that I'm gone before he gets out?

The issue isn't whether my dad chooses to cavort with him.

I'm moving anyway just to not chance it. This guy is dangerous. He's in prison now for a push in robbery on the next door neighbors and held a gun to the teenage girl.
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Old 01-20-2018, 07:03 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,578 posts, read 5,643,202 times
Reputation: 15968
Yes, it would be helpful to know when he's being released, but it doesn't look as though anyone wants to help you, or even acknowledges that the step-son has issues.

If you are an adult, then I would start making plans to move sooner rather than later. For one, your dad is treating this whole situation very strangely, but he's an adult and can make his own decisions. He's made his choice, regardless of how hurtful it feels.

Now, go make your choice and get out of this hot mess. Everyone pretty much knows how this is going to end.
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