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I had a wheelbarrow that had the "if you borrow it, you have to store it until someone else needs it".....It was gone for 5+ years and I then got it back!
I had a Valentine 1 radar detector I wasn't using and someone asked to try it out. Years later I was thinking about it and have NO IDEA who I loaned it to! The technology is old now but it was a $500 piece back then.
I loaned a bartender I knew a Counting Crows CD.....never got that back but she was a goofy free spirit type. I still see her from time to time but no way would she remember a CD!
It's not my fault! My husband's friend's SO lent me a movie, then packed and moved in the middle of the night a month later. I still have it if she wants it back.
I never put it into a donation box. She may want that particular Christmas gift back.
Nothing. And I don't let people borrow from me unless I don't particularly care that I won't get the item back. I used to stop letting people "borrow" my pens or pencils in school, because I never got them back. The kids would use them the next day, right in front of me. Oftentimes I honestly would forget to ask for it back/forget that I let them borrow it that day, but was reminded the next day when I saw my pen in their hands. Basically, they just wanted me to give them pens. I learned this lesson young lol.
I guess I am some sort of ananomoly.. But IF I ever borrowed anything.. IT was returned PDQ. It was one of my high priority. However, whenever I lent something to some, Expected it back in working order..But just like $ loans.. I would never ASSume return! It's something I grew up with.. Give and share what you can... however.. don't always expect returns.. SO lesson was.. Only lend or shre with those you TRUST.
If you loan something.. expect it back.. BUT if they break or destroy it.. then FAIR compensation ONLY should be expected... Then again, IF you lend something .. don't get it back, OFTEN you get back in spades so many other favours from those same people!! It's called give and take !!
Material items canbe replaced.. Personal relations cannot be replaced... Then again.. continuous abused by certain "friends" will force someone to REl-Evaluate such friendships!!!
When it comes to $$$$ . I may lend $..and yes would love it back.. BUT I would never EVER lend a dime to anyone and ASSUME return.. PART of the RISK FACTOR IF you can't afford it.. Don't do it!!
I basically don't let people borrow anything anymore. I either just give it to them, or if it's a tool or whatever, I go do it myself and then bring the tool back (or my husband may do that - depends on the job), or I tell them sorry, but no.
I have a couple of books that I finally just realized I will never get back if I let someone borrow them, so I just give them away and buy another copy every time.
I broke my golden rule (not loaning out tools) because a neighbor actually called me up and asked if she could borrow some sort of thing you use to cut smallish limbs out of tall trees - like a small saw on the end of a long pole. OK, not a big deal, right? Except my husband was sick as a dog when she came over and so I had the opportunity to pull her aside and tell her, "Listen, my husband really really really doesn't like loaning out his tools, because we just never seem to get them back, so PLEASE bring this back by the end of the week or I'll be in trouble." (sort of an exaggeration but I really wanted her to bring that tool back.) Oh, she assured me that she was going to do this little job this weekend, and she would get this tool back to me in about three days. I mean, she absolutely assured me she would do so.
Then I see on social media, pictures of her yard "before and after" and a post about how she had worked in the yard that weekend, thanking me for letting her borrow what she needed, etc, etc.
A week comes and goes - two weeks - and finally I had to GUILT her into bringing it back to my house. What the heck? She lives just a few doors down. Why should I have to basically beg her to bring that thing back? SO IRRITATING.
I don't think I have anything that I borrowed and didn't return, I'm really good about that. I know I have at least a dozen or so books floating about, not sure where they are by now. I flipped out on my daughter who loaned out my FIRST EDITION Harry Potter book and made sure she got it back ASAP! I have loaned kitchen items to my adult daughters but it's nothing that's ever a big deal if I get back, unless it's a crock pot or something like that, then I follow through to get the item back.
I still have a couple DVD's I borrowed from a former coworker a couple years back. Only a week or so after I borrowed them, I came in one morning to find his tool boxes gone and the trash barrels by his bay filled with the stuff he left behind. Didn't have his number and haven't seen or heard from him ever again, so I guess they're mine now!
I agree with what several other posters have said in that I HATE lending or borrowing anything. I can't stand feeling like a bum and knowing that I owe someone either an item back or money. I pride myself on no owing anybody anything, so it's been quite a while since I've borrowed anything from anyone. Also learned my lesson the hard way by lending things and never getting them back/getting them back broken or with pieces missing.
Case in point, sometime in HS I loaned one of my "friends" a copy of one of my PS3 games, wrongfully thinking I'd get it back soon. I asked him a few times "Hey, you still got that game?" and he'd blow me off and be like "Ya, I'll bring it in tomorrow". Well, tomorrow never came and one day when I was hounding him he admitted he'd loaned it to one of HIS friends and told me to ask HIM where it was.
First of all, what gives YOU the right to loan out something that doesn't even belong to you? Learned my lesson on loaning things out right then and there! I swear, some people have no guilt and a huge sense of entitlement, thinking they can borrow money or things and either never give them back or never pay you back! People like that need repeatedly punched in the face in order to snap them back into reality, or until they die, either way it's not a loss for humanity! They are the most contemptible POS's I can think of!
I guess I am some sort of ananomoly.. But IF I ever borrowed anything.. IT was returned PDQ. It was one of my high priority. However, whenever I lent something to some, Expected it back in working order..But just like $ loans.. I would never ASSume return! It's something I grew up with.. Give and share what you can... however.. don't always expect returns.. SO lesson was.. Only lend or shre with those you TRUST.
If you loan something.. expect it back.. BUT if they break or destroy it.. then FAIR compensation ONLY should be expected... Then again, IF you lend something .. don't get it back, OFTEN you get back in spades so many other favours from those same people!! It's called give and take !!
Material items canbe replaced.. Personal relations cannot be replaced... Then again.. continuous abused by certain "friends" will force someone to REl-Evaluate such friendships!!!
When it comes to $$$$ . I may lend $..and yes would love it back.. BUT I would never EVER lend a dime to anyone and ASSUME return.. PART of the RISK FACTOR IF you can't afford it.. Don't do it!!
I have a childhood friend's charm bracelet that was somehow left at my house when we were kids. It was important to her, but not interesting to me. I wouldn't have borrowed or taken it deliberately. Didn't even realize it went missing until a serious sit-down with my friend and both our parents. They moved away and we lost contact. Decades later it showed up in a box of my childhood keepies that had never been sorted. I was absolutely horrified, but had no way to contact my childhood friend after all that time. To this day it makes me feel terrible, wondering if my friend believed that I had taken it and lied about it.
No, other than that I don't have anything belonging to anyone else. I've loaned an occasional book, a tape or CD that were never returned, but things like that can be replaced.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve McDonald
I know the feeling. I borrowed an expensive piece of equipment from a woman, who didn't use it any longer. I kept it quite a while and she eventually asked me if I would bring it back. But I kept stalling, telling her I was using it constantly. Then, before I got around to buying one of my own and returning hers, she died. She left no family, so I could never return it, at least not in this life. But I wonder if I will be called to accounts for it, at a later time?
I appreciate your candor.
No, I don't think it's a big deal. I doubt those people really remembered those things.
As I said, I have kept my friends guitar for years, partially because, he never plays and I play a ton. He has never asked for it once and has probably forgotten by now. But that's still not really right. I should have just bought it from him.
I personally don't think it's generally a huge deal. I think if you especially borrowed something small, it's really a small thing. Maybe that's also because I'm guilty.
More of the point was trying to get people to admit to being the 'rude person'.
I do find it amusing that people on CD forum run into every day...
-The crappy friend who breaks plans and flakes.
-The guy who drives 5 feet behind you on the freeway at 90 MPH
-The person at work who goes above you and tells your supervisor about a mistake you made at work.
-The neighbor behind the thin wall who insists on watching TV at loud volumes all day and night.
Yet, very few will admit to being that person.
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