I don't want to be in my brother's wedding anymore due to his friends (insecure, jealous)
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OP, please don't take this wrong, but I think you subconsciously already feel inferior to your brother and his battle buddies because of the chair. This is the source of conflict within and without of self. It's really about you. So try to turn it into what it should be about: your brother and future sister.
If you have a counselor, consider talking about this situation with. If not, consider finding one. It looks like the issues associated with your chair has seeped into other areas of your life and taken over your emotions.
Last edited by picklejuice; 02-05-2018 at 06:06 AM..
Ask if you can go on a couple off fire calls or car wrecks with your brother. Maybe haul a sick man with a heart attack down from a third floor walk up apartment. Or help deliver a baby. "Then maybe you will understand."
Oh, bull. Stop it with the "we macho men who put out fires are different!" It's like army buds. They are BUDS, close, they feel like family.
But after the war...and after leaving firefighting....those buds move on in different directions, often losing contact. Unlike family.
I'm the best man and i'm in charge of the bachelor party and my brother is fine with whatever I plan. The problems are coming from the others who want an out of town event.
You do what YOU and your brother want, what is more practical but still fun, and discuss w/your brother why. You don't have to explain anything to the coworkers, unless one of them is a co-planner.
These are guys. Maybe young guys? Not the most sensitive humans around or the most attuned to others. They just don't have their thinking caps on. You do the thinking. So glad you are doing the stag party! That's really the only thing I would have been hurt about. The gift from the coworkers w/o incl family - that's is normal and appropriate. (Think about it...if your mom, you, and other family get together to give him a gift from the family, is she going to hit up the coworkers to contribute? Of course not. It's a gift from the family.)
Why do they want to go out of town, I wonder? You guys are just going to hang out in a room and drink and play loud music right? (Don't know if stag parties still hire strippers or anything. That may be old fashioned.)
I'm the best man and i'm in charge of the bachelor party and my brother is fine with whatever I plan. The problems are coming from the others who want an out of town event.
Then set the plan and announce the details, done deal.
It's more about them showing off and trying to make me feel bad and look bad.
You sound like a thin-skinned child. People don't buy presents for their friends to make others look and feel bad, they buy them because they love the recipient. If you keep carrying on like this, your brother would be completely justified in kicking you out of the wedding party himself.
Stop your tantrum, you sound so immature. Either be a man and step up to your brother and talk to him about this again and make a plan; or drop out of the wedding party. I am sorry about your disability but you are allowing it to make you feel childlike and inferior. As others have said this wedding is not about you. He wouldn't have asked you to be best man if he didn't want you.
Trust in Sam......if you muddy up the wedding there will be a division in your family that will always remain.
Go to the wedding no matter what the circumstances and have a good time,or at least pretend to.These guys have a different kind of "brotherhood" it is not a threat to the love that real brothers share.
No one who is not in your position can understand your feelings and I see why you are feeling hurt but this wedding day may set the tone of you are your brothers relationship for the rest of your lives.........Please,suck it up,laugh,joke ,eat and be merry.
You sound like a thin-skinned child. People don't buy presents for their friends to make others look and feel bad, they buy them because they love the recipient. If you keep carrying on like this, your brother would be completely justified in kicking you out of the wedding party himself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyJuly
Stop your tantrum, you sound so immature. Either be a man and step up to your brother and talk to him about this again and make a plan; or drop out of the wedding party. I am sorry about your disability but you are allowing it to make you feel childlike and inferior. As others have said this wedding is not about you. He wouldn't have asked you to be best man if he didn't want you.
They left me out of the gifts they have given my brother and they also took him to a Colts game a few months back and i wasn't even invited. I probably wouldn't have had the money to go, but it pisses me off that they couldn't even ask or tell me. I had to see it on my brother's Facebook. I'm trying to plan the bachelor party locally, but they keep pushing for events out of state that I can't afford and so yes I think they are doing what they can to make me look bad and like I don't care about my brother. It's also their<bleep> comments about being "brothers" and how they have stronger bond that<bleep> me off.
Have they actually said that they are closer to him than you are? I agree, that would be inappropriate.
I don't understand your irritation at being "left out" of the gifts and Colts game, though. At what point did it become customary for co-workers who have gone in together to buy a gift or plan an outing for one of their number to include other family members? As for the bachelor party, why can there not be more than one? Brides have multiple showers all the time.
I am curious. Had you met these friends prior to your accident, and what was your relationship with them like then?
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