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I've never heard the phrase 'emotional vampire' before. I've heard the phrase 'energy vampire' used to describe someone who tries to suck all the energy from the people around them.
There is a difference between the two types. An energy vampire is someone who when in close physical proximity can actually drain physical energy from people nearby. It isn't always intentional, sometimes they aren't even aware they're doing that to people. They may also be an emotional vampire too but the two types don't necessarily go hand in hand and energy vampires often are cheerful, upbeat, happy-go-lucky people with no complaints about life and no harm intended.
But an emotional (or psychic) vampire is a needy malcontent with nothing good to say, who doesn't have to be in close proximity to make people feel emotionally suffocated, drained, dispirited, frustrated, angry, unwell, feeling like they're being emotionally dragged down and drowning, fed up and tired and wanting to have nothing to do with the emotional vampire. The emotional vampire can do that through any kind of communication be it from a distance in a class room, at work, on the telephone, voice mail, email, texting, social media, and on forums like this one.
Emotional or psychic vampirism is a type of mental abuse (which is usually unintentional) and grasping neediness that can make other people feel spiritually/mentally drained and unwell (which can result in psychosomatic health problems) just as energy vampirism can make people feel physically drained and unwell with lowering of immune system and risk of numerous serious physical health problems.
This OP has only 6 or 7 posts so far and every one of them is so emotionally suffocating, clinging, dragging, negative - and above all, unrealistic - it's caused nearly all responders to respond negatively to the OP's malcontentment and it's obvious why his/her acquaintanceships don't last long and acquaintances want to go away and stay away permanently.
He/she probably doesn't intend or wish to be that way and really should be under the care of a counselor.
Did your favorite waitress at your favorite restaurant ever take you to the movies, a concert, a county fair, or an amusement park?
I don't like to eat out.
Did your favorite bartender at your favorite bar/tavern ever take you out for your birthday or give you a ride home when he/she got off work?
I don't drink and if my favorite bartender gave me a ride "after" work I would think I had a drinking problem.
Have you ever had lunch or dinner with your co-workers?
Yes when I worked with others.
Do you have get-togethers with that person you met one night at the local nightclub?
Haven't been to a nightclub on 30 years.
Or do you still talk to and/or hang out with at least 50 or more of your high school classmates 25 years after high school graduation?
I didn't "hang out" with 50 kids when I was in high school.
You are confusing true friendships with acquaintances. There are many people who pass through our lives who at the time have a common ground with us. Once that common ground no longer exists there is nothing holding you together. Those are acquaintances. True friends are rarer to find.
Has our favorite waitress taken us out for dinner? Well not a waitress but the manager of our favorite Indian restaurant. We see him and his wife and daughter once a week or more. One of the cooks and a waiter and waitress have been to our house and I cooked a whole Thanksgiving dinner and fed the entire staff. It was so much fun!
I don't hang out in bars so that's a no.
Have I had lunch or dinner with coworkers? Yes. Quite a few have become very dear friends and I stayed at one of my long time friend/Coworkers house when I went to Disney World in November. One coworker friend just sent us tickets to American English next week. I still have friends from every place I ever lived.
No to the nightclub because I don't go to them, but I met the nicest woman at an antique market. We were both looking at Halloween costume jewelry and we both have a great love of Halloween. We live far apart but we do text.
Fifty high school friends? Well I never had that many in high school. I still keep in touch either via text of Facebook with about six or seven and there is one that I've known since I was ten that I see frequently.
I don't know why you feel the way you feel P1 or how old you are. All I can tell you is that people come and go and there are plenty of good people out there if you take the time to look.
Did your favorite waitress at your favorite restaurant ever take you to the movies, a concert, a county fair, or an amusement park?
Did your favorite bartender at your favorite bar/tavern ever take you out for your birthday or give you a ride home when he/she got off work?
Have you ever had lunch or dinner with your co-workers?
Do you have get-togethers with that person you met one night at the local nightclub?
Or do you still talk to and/or hang out with at least 50 or more of your high school classmates 25 years after high school graduation?
I can easily guarantee nobody on this forum would ever answer "Yes" to any of the above questions. In America, friendships are fake, superficial, and fleeting, mostly a facade. Not only long distance moves, but even getting a new job in a different field or even at a different place can also terminate friendships in America. When Americans don't see each other for months and years, they actually grow much less fond of each other. Most of them even become flat out strangers and don't remember their friends. High school is the first place where people find that out the hard way. People graduate, they move on, and they never see their high school classmates for the rest of their whole lives. Moderator cut: delete
That is true. I have not made any real friends since I left my first company out of college. I am down to two and we do not reside in the same state. It is sad but people are just aren't good. They cannot be trusted.
It is sad but people are just aren't good. They cannot be trusted.
You can't really believe that... can you? After all, you are surrounded in life by people who enjoy their friendships and family and enjoy meeting new people and have no problem opening up. Are they all faking it?
If you can't see the reality of how other people relate in the world, you are being willfully misanthropic and blind.
So I'll ask you what I asked the OP: What happened to you?
You are confusing true friendships with acquaintances. There are many people who pass through our lives who at the time have a common ground with us. Once that common ground no longer exists there is nothing holding you together. Those are acquaintances. True friends are rarer to find.
I said the same exact thing to this same poster on their other thread.
There is a difference between the two types. An energy vampire is someone who when in close physical proximity can actually drain physical energy from people nearby. It isn't always intentional, sometimes they aren't even aware they're doing that to people. They may also be an emotional vampire too but the two types don't necessarily go hand in hand and energy vampires often are cheerful, upbeat, happy-go-lucky people with no complaints about life and no harm intended.
But an emotional (or psychic) vampire is a needy malcontent with nothing good to say, who doesn't have to be in close proximity to make people feel emotionally suffocated, drained, dispirited, frustrated, angry, unwell, feeling like they're being emotionally dragged down and drowning, fed up and tired and wanting to have nothing to do with the emotional vampire. The emotional vampire can do that through any kind of communication be it from a distance in a class room, at work, on the telephone, voice mail, email, texting, social media, and on forums like this one.
Emotional or psychic vampirism is a type of mental abuse (which is usually unintentional) and grasping neediness that can make other people feel spiritually/mentally drained and unwell (which can result in psychosomatic health problems) just as energy vampirism can make people feel physically drained and unwell with lowering of immune system and risk of numerous serious physical health problems.
This OP has only 6 or 7 posts so far and every one of them is so emotionally suffocating, clinging, dragging, negative - and above all, unrealistic - it's caused nearly all responders to respond negatively to the OP's malcontentment and it's obvious why his/her acquaintanceships don't last long and acquaintances want to go away and stay away permanently.
He/she probably doesn't intend or wish to be that way and really should be under the care of a counselor.
.
in short, the glass is either half empty or half full.
Stay away from those people who always have a half empty glass. They'll suck the life out of you.
No. I presume most waitresses refrain from socializing with customers to avoid awkwardness at work.
As anyone can see, waitresses and bartenders refrain from taking their so-called "friendship" with their customers outside of work as if, according to them, doing so is a capital felony under Federal law in the United States that is heavily and thoroughly investigated by the FBI, the United States Department of Homeland Security, the United States Marshals, the United States Military, and carries a mandatory sentence, for all involved, of easily 300 years to life in Federal prison and/or the death penalty, use of deadly force and immediate declaration of full Martial law authorized.
As anyone can see, waitresses and bartenders refrain from taking their so-called "friendship" with their customers outside of work as if, according to them, doing so is a capital felony under Federal law in the United States that is heavily and thoroughly investigated by the FBI, the United States Department of Homeland Security, the United States Marshals, the United States Military, and carries a mandatory sentence, for all involved, of easily 300 years to life in Federal prison and/or the death penalty, use of deadly force and immediate declaration of full Martial law authorized.
So it comes down to the fact that you asked a server out, and they declined, is that it?
At my 30th birthday party there was my HS crowd, some of whom I had known since elementary school, my college friends, and people from the two jobs I had had since college. I hung out with them all regularly. Weekends were divided between the HS crowd and the college friends, and a few work friends started co-mingling with one or the other, creating even larger groups.
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