Toxic people (girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, talks)

[nay624]

AVOIDANCE it the best deffence! avoid them all, at family functions be quiet. :-)

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by songinthewind7

Toxic people don't understand kindness. It gives them more of a chance to take advantage of you.
Sometimes in life, no matter how hard it is, sometimes it's better off being a little rude or mean to get the message across. We're talking toxic people here. They don't want to be invited into a better world. They enjoy sucking the life out of people.

i agree....trying to play games is still engaging with the person, it is still being in relationship with them, and that literally sucks your life energy. Is that really where you want to spend not only your time but also your precious life force?

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by flburgos

how does one avoid these people if they are family members?i've got a few in my life and i try to stay away but when they are family it seems to be more difficult.

same thing, set boundaries, limit contact, you have a CHOICE in your level of engagement. If it's eating away at your peace of mind then you have options of staying at a motel, avoiding family functions, going to a different room, seeing other family members at other times, all sorts of options.

[flburgos]

Originally Posted by nay624

AVOIDANCE it the best deffence! avoid them all, at family functions be quiet. :-)

this will be my first year cutting off all family gatherings and any direct contact.the one problem is i'm occasionaly thinking if i made the right choice or do i keep my family together and deal with the poison.

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by flburgos

this will be my first year cutting off all family gatherings and any direct contact.the one problem is i'm occasionaly thinking if i made the right choice or do i keep my family together and deal with the poison.

if it is for your health, well-being, and peace of mind it is ALWAYS the right choice. Those family members you wish to maintain contact with, well, you can build relationship with those individually or at other times.

[flburgos]

Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

if it is for your health, well-being, and peace of mind it is ALWAYS the right choice. Those family members you wish to maintain contact with, well, you can build relationship with those individually or at other times.

it's pretty sad when people can't get together and enjoy each other's company..

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by flburgos

it's pretty sad when people can't get together and enjoy each other's company..

Think of it this way, you can pick your friends but not your family.

You do what you have to to survive and stay healthy yourself. At one point one of my relatives used to give me ulcers. As I got older I could handle her and she didn't bother me as much. Right now I have not seen her in over a year and while I miss having family the way we parted makes me not think about her.

[MotleyCrew]

Thanks...I think I can feel my spine....I have a spine.

[flburgos]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

Think of it this way, you can pick your friends but not your family.

You do what you have to to survive and stay healthy yourself. At one point one of my relatives used to give me ulcers. As I got older I could handle her and she didn't bother me as much. Right now I have not seen her in over a year and while I miss having family the way we parted makes me not think about her.

well i have my wife and my children and they are more important than individuals that are crossing my boundaries to destroy my marriage and relationship with my little ones.I decided that this year was going to be different and i will not be allowing toxic individuals in my life any longer.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by flburgos

well i have my wife and my children and they are more important than individuals that are crossing my boundaries to destroy my marriage and relationship with my little ones.I decided that this year was going to be different and i will not be allowing toxic individuals in my life any longer.

Oh boy have I been there too!
I've been the not liked spouse, not easy for sure.