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Old 06-18-2009, 07:38 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,067 posts, read 9,242,599 times
Reputation: 7952

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Don't avoid, don't ignore, don't drop hints....tell them in no uncertain terms you don't want them around.

I used to worry about hurting people's feelings and being rude, but nah. If I feel I need to be rid of someone, it's very likely they've done the same. Off to the curb they go.
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Old 06-18-2009, 10:20 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 5,047,529 times
Reputation: 2319
Quote:
Originally Posted by MotleyCrew View Post
How does one get rid of toxic people in their life? Moved to a retirement spot and met a person that is absolutely overwhelming me. I can do nothing right and by the end of our conversation or visit, I feel suicidal (almost). Is critical of every inch of our lives and our business. Well, at best I feel like gum on the bottom the shoe.
It's funny, you talk about ONE person who is toxic however, when I step out the door I see a world FULL of toxic people (shaking head).
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Old 06-18-2009, 10:49 PM
 
Location: MN
314 posts, read 475,152 times
Reputation: 331
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
Don't avoid, don't ignore, don't drop hints....tell them in no uncertain terms you don't want them around.

I used to worry about hurting people's feelings and being rude, but nah. If I feel I need to be rid of someone, it's very likely they've done the same. Off to the curb they go.
Toxic people are usually very good about picking their victims-rather like a robber or mugger. If you project confidence they leave you alone.

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING UNKIND TO THESE PEOPLE-they depend on the kindness of others to continue their unacceptable behavior. A direct discussion outlining your expectations usually will work wonders. You are no fun if you refuse to be a victim. Most of these people tear others down to make themselves feel better so a strong person makes them run.
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Old 06-18-2009, 10:52 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,330 posts, read 47,680,035 times
Reputation: 41704
i am powerless over others, i can only work on my own defects of character.
however you saying that reminds me of something i was told about catalina. has pretty strong suicide rate a local told me. so you weed out all the jerks in your life and finally buy a place in catalina you made it no longer in LA life is good, then you turn on the light in the bathroom, ooppps missed one, time to fix it. blam!!
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Old 06-18-2009, 11:51 PM
 
Location: USA
4,983 posts, read 5,331,369 times
Reputation: 2506
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
It is better to be alone than near or with psycho/toxic person or persons.

If that person is in your job. Find another job unless your job is wonderful and you can avoid the toxic person. Find a job where you can have your own office and avoid contact with too many people.

If it is roommate. Plan to move out. Avoid roommate if you can't move out yet.

Keywords here are - Avoid.

IF the person criticizes you a lot it is because he or she is very envious or jealous of you. Do yourself a favor and avoid the person like the plague. Don't even try to have a discussion unless it is a professonal setting and you consider the behavior to be harassment. The toxic person can't stop themselves from being envious and rude, so just avoid.

Other important factors are - Carry on with your life, do stuff you think is fun, avoid thinking of the toxic person at all times, and find time to relax and read, sleep, play video games, do art, watch Tv, dance,etc.

Great post, artsy
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Old 07-03-2009, 08:11 AM
 
1 posts, read 677 times
Reputation: 10
My name is Anne Froelih Quaglia, my mother who has serious issues has lied to the police and had me arrested. She then went into court and is trying to get custody of my chldren. My sisiter is at her side. My mother interjected herself into my business when I completed a divorce and my eldest would not adhere to my rules. He is now an angry 22 year old who calls different governement agencies on me for various supposed abuses. My life is consumed with defending myself against these attackes. The latest is that my mother and son brought my bipolar ex husband into court to get an order of protection against me (for my two younger boys) and got it. Unbeknownst to him he was also listed in the order as my mother's attorney filled out the paperwork. This family is so toxic and I fear my two younger boys will be brought into this life of hatred as my eldest has. The courts are involved I have a criminal case and a family case. The family judge has already decided I have anger issues. This situation couldn't be any worse than it is. I cut myself off from them two years ago when they interferred with my eldest and myself, and they have attacked me to this level. I fear my eldest is bipolar like his father...
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