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What's wrong with just asking her to stop talking about it? Approach her in private, like an adult, and tell her that you don't like having your personal life discussed in front of everyone and you would appreciate if she would stop bringing saying you need to get married and have children. Say it pleasantly and respectfully.
If this is considered bullying or even "unacceptable" ... it does not bode well for the potential emotional state that could be induced when transitioning from school into the workplace.
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coschristi, as they say – wins the internet today.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
I would just say “my marital status is no one’s business and I WILL NOT discuss it any further with you.” Nosy people like that only get one way of dealing with them, direct and to the point.
Bait you into a physical fight ?!?! What kind of school environment is this? I have seven years of college and over 40 years in various job settings and I have never, ever been in situation where someone was trying to bait me into a physical fight nor have I even seen a situation like that (now, I have seen children or teenagers get into fights, but never adults in school or on a job).
Trailer Park Nursing school? Maybe they can beat each other up and then treat the injuries for practice.
I'm a 25 year old nursing student. In my group, I am one of two women who don't have children (the other one is married) while the other students are single, with out of wedlock children. One of my classmates who I thought was a decent person, will out of nowhere say to me "you need to hurry up and get married before its too late". She has no idea how old I am nor does she know my relationship status. Then once someone mentioned me being young only for her to say "who is young?" with a sly grin on her face. She keeps implying that I'm old and need to get married before its too late.
I feel that my personal decision to remain childless and single is none of her business. I find it strange that she keeps pressuring me to get married instead of pressuring the single mothers to get married because they have children. Her behavior has made me really insecure about myself and my appearance. I am not old nor do I think I look old. Should I report her to the dean because I am sick and tired of this
Sorry, Sweet pea.. BUT you best get over your sense of entitlement IF you are serious about going into (Nursing) HC Industry!! Speaking (now retired after 47+ years) as a Front line HC Giver, who dealt with a constant belly bumping comments ( bullying) from patients, relatives and believe me.. what YOU described is silly entitle attitude!!! YOU HAVE engaged with other fellow students who make fun and maybe be jealous of your station only EXPOSE YOU'RE a whiny and an insecure child maturity level. Certainly NOT a quarter Century aged adult!! Deflect where you want... BUT HC educations andWORK is HARDCORE working in a VERY HIGH STRESS workplace!! GET over it.. or move on!
I suggest very highly.. GET OUT OF HC Industry.. Fragile self-esteem won't survive a MONTH!! Claiming PTSD that quick will be on YOU not the environment you are already complaining about!!
Sorry, Sweet pea.. BUT you best get over your sense of entitlement IF you are serious about going into (Nursing) HC Industry!! Speaking (now retired after 47+ years) as a Front line HC Giver, who dealt with a constant belly bumping comments ( bullying) from patients, relatives and believe me.. what YOU described is silly entitle attitude!!! YOU HAVE engaged with other fellow students who make fun and maybe be jealous of your station only EXPOSE YOU'RE a whiny and an insecure child maturity level. Certainly NOT a quarter Century aged adult!! Deflect where you want... BUT HC educations andWORK is HARDCORE working in a VERY HIGH STRESS workplace!! GET over it.. or move on!
I suggest very highly.. GET OUT OF HC Industry.. Fragile self-esteem won't survive a MONTH!! Claiming PTSD that quick will be on YOU not the environment you are already complaining about!!
This kind of flaming just doesn't belong here. Good grief.
I feel that reporting it to the Dean might help mediate the situation. Because she is obviously trying to bait me into a argument or even physical fight. She's a single mother with two kids, if I bring that up she is going to get mad at me and want to fight.
If she wants to know if I have a significant other or not, or plan to have kids in the future, she can simply ask. It's not that hard to do
You can choose to make it a thing, or you can move on. It is such an insignificant thing, yet you want to make it a "big" thing.
One of the most important life skills is the ability to de-escalate a situation. You seem determined to escalate this situation with the goal of leaving a black smirch on the single mother. Take the high road, learn the skill of de-escalating a situation.
The point is to shut the other person up. They're not expecting someone to snap back at them. They're used to walking all over the OP. It's not about "hurting someone back". It's about drawing boundaries. With some people, a snappy comeback is the only language they'll understand. What it communicates, is a no-nonsense "Back off!"
This is called hostile intent attribution. It's the cause of most mean girl and bullying behavior. It's when a person makes the assumption that someone means them harm - when the person's intent is not clear. Maybe she makes those comments because she is a mean person trying to make the OP feel bad. More likely, it's her honest opinion and she feels the need to give unsolicited advice, not realizing how much it is upsetting OP - as OP has never actually told her. So after deciding - without evidence - a person's behavior is malicious, the person then attacks back - actually engaging in deliberately malicious behavior because they think they have to shut the person up. That makes YOU a bully. And a very unpleasant person to work with. The kind that snaps and attacks when you least expect it - the kind you hate talking to because you never know what crazy hostile reaction you'll get. Take a look at your own behavior.
I'm a 25 year old nursing student. In my group, I am one of two women who don't have children (the other one is married) while the other students are single, with out of wedlock children. One of my classmates who I thought was a decent person, will out of nowhere say to me "you need to hurry up and get married before its too late". She has no idea how old I am nor does she know my relationship status. Then once someone mentioned me being young only for her to say "who is young?" with a sly grin on her face. She keeps implying that I'm old and need to get married before its too late.
I feel that my personal decision to remain childless and single is none of her business. I find it strange that she keeps pressuring me to get married instead of pressuring the single mothers to get married because they have children. Her behavior has made me really insecure about myself and my appearance. I am not old nor do I think I look old. Should I report her to the dean because I am sick and tired of this
I am with you. The same people who are asking you to "grow up" would be the first to whine and come asking for advice in the forum or they say its "their choice" or "personal" , when asked about their status .
One reason I can think of is cultural and she and you might not be from same culture. I am guessing either one of you is Asian.
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