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Passive aggressiveness expressed when jealous with me. This person recently after 15 years opened up to me after I was extremely generous to her. Before, she was very secretive about her family and marriage. She had me believing her life was close to perfect. We live in different states. We seem to have one way conversations, where I’m the one spilling all my beans, being honest about my life and struggles. I’m now realizing that she often compares her life to mine(I’m single), and I feel like she has never been a true friend. I’m not looking for unconditional friendship cuz I know they don’t exist but I expected more from her, I have a gut feeling that she has an agenda or angle in bring me down.
No one says you have to be friends with anyone. But I honestly feel this thread says as much about you as her. If she has rarely opened up to you, but now she has, it sounds like she needs a friend more than ever. Really, I think we need more information to know for sure.
Passive aggressiveness expressed when jealous with me. This person recently after 15 years opened up to me after I was extremely generous to her. Before, she was very secretive about her family and marriage. She had me believing her life was close to perfect. We live in different states. We seem to have one way conversations, where I’m the one spilling all my beans, being honest about my life and struggles. I’m now realizing that she often compares her life to mine(I’m single), and I feel like she has never been a true friend. I’m not looking for unconditional friendship cuz I know they don’t exist but I expected more from her, I have a gut feeling that she has an agenda or angle in bring me down.
Has a similar friend. Although we didn't know each other that long and she lived overseas. When she saw me getting my dream (which was similar to hers) start to manifest. She called me a liar over things that she wasn't privy too. She didn't attend these funtions, didn't see my conversations. She lived overseas had no idea how things worked here, which was much different for her country.
I asked her WTH was wrong with her. No answer, never an I'm sorry. She tried to keep the relatlonship going, I just was no longer into it. Bye bye don't care what breakthorugh you claim you are making. Your arrogance that you think you are too good to say a simple I'm sorry when you were blanantly wrong told me enough. You are not the kind of person I want in my life.
Second time I learned when someone tells you they don't lie, very early on is that they are the bggest liar you will ever deal with. Who says that when you barely know each other. No one unless they are a liar and setting you up to think they aren't. I know her agenda was to use me, saw that early on and didn't show my cards. Would throw a crumb if she did.
She'd crap her pants if she knew how far I've made it just in 2018.
I’m not sure how this is a reason to dump someone. I am single and in my early 40s and most of my friends are in the 30-50 age range with kids (and may or may not be married). I have had a couple say occasionally that they are jealous that I am able to move to a new place to a new job or do X because I am single and childfree, but I don’t take that to mean that they are sitting there seething with jealousy and passive aggressiveness the whole time. Sometimes I see my married friends with children and wish I were married with children, but most of the time I have happy to be single and childfree.
I would say that I have some friends who are more honest about their struggles than others. One in particular I know is like me and tends to be more tight-lipped about his issues, so neither of us open up much. Occasionally I have gotten mad if I’ve felt like he’s not been truthful, but I think there’s a difference between not being truthful and keeping things private because you’re just not ready to share them.
Sounds like she has listened to your problems for 15 years, that is what a friend does....Now she said something you don't like and she is being dumped and called passive aggressive?
Sounds pretty one sided to me.
The old saying, to have a friend you have to be a friend, comes to mind.
Sounds like she has listened to your problems for 15 years, that is what a friend does....Now she said something you don't like and she is being dumped and called passive aggressive?
Sounds pretty one sided to me.
The old saying, to have a friend you have to be a friend, comes to mind.
This thought also occurred to me OP. I got the impression that this "friend" was quietly sitting there waiting for the chance to expose her own feelings. She finally did, but it was not what you expected or wanted to hear. OP I don't think you were dominating the conversation intentionally. It was habit. You found an ear and used it. Most of us do. You happened to have a friend whose inclination was to listen instead of fill the void. She may well resent you after so long. As to exactly what she is jealous about...well, one thing could be that ability to vent as easily as you have and to admit it.
1) Did she say this or are you guessing
2) What kind of friendship do you offer besides complaining?
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This thought also occurred to me OP. I got the impression that this "friend" was quietly sitting there waiting for the chance to expose her own feelings. She finally did, but it was not what you expected or wanted to hear. OP I don't think you were dominating the conversation intentionally. It was habit. You found an ear and used it. Most of us do. You happened to have a friend whose inclination was to listen instead of fill the void. She may well resent you after so long. As to exactly what she is jealous about...well, one thing could be that ability to vent as easily as you have and to admit it.
Sorry to bust you guys bubble but I don’t dominate conversations. Im a listener not a talker. Every time I talk to her, i tried engaging her to talk about herself, but all I get are one or two words or general stuff, nothing too deep until this year.
Welp, I guess our work is done here since OP rejects everything thus far. And with attitude yet.
Funny that the friend waited 15 years to "have an agenda," though.
I'll float off in my "bubble" rather than argue.
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