Never really got anything out of being friends with a woman. What’s the catch? (sister, attractive)
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In every relationship a person gets in, they seek to gain something from the other person, such as emotional support. There is nothing wrong with this. Why get into any type of friendship, relationship, etc if it doesn’t enrich your life?
Of course friendships should enrich your life. But if the main reason for entering into a relationship is to get some support for yourself, you will be disappointed at every turn. Usually successful friendships blossom when both friends find common ground and acceptance from each other. One is just as happy as the other when a good thing happens to the other, for instance.
You seem to be seeking a relationship where you receive, but do not necessarily give. You have a transactional idea about friendship, where you become a friend and then receive benefits. You have not posted about what you have to give to a friendship.
In every relationship people do not necessarily seek to gain something. That's a pretty sorry way to view relationships, frankly. I have not found friends by going around and finding people who gratify my needs.
I defoo people who are toxic. Most people are toxic (in the west anyway). The U.S. is a toxic nation w/ fake mass shooting stories that no one has the courage to call out. They rather pretend they don't see the chemtrails and talk about the fake weather, with their fake lives. w/ their religion of materialism.
<groan!> Are you kidding me? I really hope you were being metaphorical.
The "chemtrails" you speak of are just exhaust gases from jet engines. All they contain is frozen water vapor, carbon dioxide, and soot.
I suppose you're right about one thing: we do live in a morally toxic society. It's one of the reasons I refuse to have kids.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 03-02-2018 at 11:08 PM..
Of course friendships should enrich your life. But if the main reason for entering into a relationship is to get some support for yourself, you will be disappointed at every turn. Usually successful friendships blossom when both friends find common ground and acceptance from each other. One is just as happy as the other when a good thing happens to the other, for instance.
You seem to be seeking a relationship where you receive, but do not necessarily give. You have a transactional idea about friendship, where you become a friend and then receive benefits. You have not posted about what you have to give to a friendship.
In every relationship people do not necessarily seek to gain something. That's a pretty sorry way to view relationships, frankly. I have not found friends by going around and finding people who gratify my needs.
Well i like to make other people feel good, too. It is not all about me. I’m always there for other people to talk whenever. Many people will not make themselves as available as I make myself.
What is that supposed to imply? I had 3. They were 3 of the worst enemies of my life. I'm 60 and one of them is gone. Too bad it wasn't one of the worst 2. The remaining 2 actually bragged about sleeping w/ their bosses at their gov. jobs in NePA. Both are married, one was married when she did it. Women only engage (pretend to be friends with) people who can benefit them.
The evil twin of the remaining two changed the beneficiary on my father's life insurance on his death bed. He was a decorated WW2 disabled veteran. She also wanted to come w/ me for some finalist testing when I was being considered for the PS Police academy. We had never spent the night in the same room in our lives and she wanted to bunk w/ me when I was in my late 20's? and she was in her late 30's? I think we we know why. She tried to sabotage me every step of the way. I finally had to leave the area, between her and my exwife.
I empathize with you, my two brothers are my worst enemies. One of them tried to blackmail me out of 50 grand because my other brother and I bought my parents house, and he felt we paid a little less than market value, and then he accused me of not paying my parents any money for it! He told me if I didn't give him 50 grand he wouldn't go to the closing and sign his rights away (he was one of the heirs), when he already signed a contract and agreed to it and I applied for a mortgage. I asked him if he wanted to be third owner from the start, but he said no. I threatened to sue him because he signed the contract, my other brother already moved into the house and had expenses, so in the end he showed up at the closing, and never acknowledged my mother or I, we don't speak to him or his family.
My other brother who owns the house with me got divorced, I had to do all the work with his lawyer so his ex-wife wouldn't get a large portion of the home value, that took two years out of my life. He agreed not to have his ex or her family in the house and recently reneged on it. Mom had a mild stroke and he never lifted a finger to help me with her. He treats his ex-family better than Mom and I. He rekindled his friendship with the estranged brother, so now Mom and I don't talk to him or his family either!
He is giving me a hard time about selling the house, he doesn't want to move.
Last month Mom broke up with her boyfriend of 14 years because he wanted me to see him on the side and not tell her, so I told her what he said, and he also made a pass at me when we were alone.
Last week my best friend for decades died, her funeral is today, and I am devastated, Mom and I are left with hardly no people in our life anymore, it's sad, but people have no loyalty or morals any longer, we are probably better off alone.
There's really not that much that male-female platonic friendship offers. There are few circumstances where these relationships work out well. I have no female friends in my immediate local vicinity and have never had one for any significant duration.
Single males and single females can really never work out. A single male can possibly be on good terms with the girlfriend or wife of one of his partnered off friends, and maybe get a social circle introduction to a female friend there. That would be a benefit of a male-female friendship.
Attached guys really have no use for female friends, unlike the single male who can get a social circle introduction.
Well i like to make other people feel good, too. It is not all about me. I’m always there for other people to talk whenever. Many people will not make themselves as available as I make myself.
OK. You make yourself available to talk. What other things are you doing as you make friends?
I have female colleagues that I keep in touch with (past supervisors mostly)
I have no female friends. Not even on social media. It's not because of my Wife. I encountered the same issue as OP. Female friends do not exist for Men, hell sometimes they barely exist for Women.
If you don't serve to boost their ego or validate them with attention or listening to emotional theatrics many females do not want anything to do with you in a platonic sense.
If I met a Woman who I wasn't sexually attracted to that played XBOX, watched Netflix, listened to eclectic music (not Pop/mainstream hip hop) and was focused on making money/business moves then sure we could be friends.
I've yet to find a Woman like that. My Wife is the typical Woman she likes fashion, food, home renovation shows. Maybe 1 in 100 Women have mostly Male interests and usually there's a catch, unfortunately something tends to be mentally wrong with them.
"I am a woman and I definitely have male friends. I will say that most of my male friends over the course of my life have been more like...activity partners? Like, I'll get together with a female friend just to shoot the breeze or grab a bite to eat, but with male friends we usually get together because we're going to do something in particular."
Exactly; same here. And because the LAST thing I would ever care to do is just sit around eating or drinking or shopping and talking (more specifically, gossiping), I prefer my male friends with whom I can be active pursuing my hobbies, doing something I enjoy, and actually having fun. Unfortunately, their female partners usually don't understand that dynamic...
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