Really find my mother's relationship gross. (children, sister, judgmental, boyfriend)
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Your mother is human. She is enjoying her relationship. In her own home. Get over it. She doesn't care that you are uncomfortable, nor should she. It's her house.
It's not all about you, and the world doesn't revolve around you.
If you are uncomfortable, you have the option of altering your current status to "employed" so you can move out and establish whatever rules you like for your own home.
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For some background I am 26 and live with my mom while going to school. For a little over a year now she has been in a relationship with a younger man, 30. Now she is 43. Honestly, I think it is gross not just because she is with a man more my age but they are very open about it, as in they will kiss and make out even when I am around. It really bothers me and I have told her but she just says "it's my house I can do what I want" "you can't dictate who I am involved with" etc.
Now due to financial difficulty I did move back in after she was in this "relationship" but still, shouldn't she see how I view it as her daughter and tone it way down? The guy she is with is nice and everything but it's not fun seeing this.
She is an adult! You have NO say in her life. Don't like it? Move out! She doesn't have to tone anything down. It's HER house. Get your own place to live...problem solved.
Thanks for the responses. Went to bed after posting, just now got back. I get that it's my mothers house and she can be with who she wants, but isn't it wrong to get them to tone things down? I feel embarrassed if I say go to the kitchen to get something and they're all over each other. And I swear, since she's been with him she has started acting more like a teenager. I came back from work and I kid you not, my mother and the guy she is with were running around the house playing lazer tag
And she gets all lovey dovey and the like.
What's wrong with playing laser tag? I'm your mom's age and I run around my house shooting my Nerf gun at my husband. It's being a goofball and having fun. Lighten up! Life's too short to have a stick up your butt.
If she wants to make out or have sex in her kitchen, that's her right. It's HER kitchen. Don't like it? MOVE OUT! She owes you NOTHING. You're an adult. Act like it.
For all those saying "just move out" I can't. I don't make enough and I am busy with school. I just think that she should be putting me, her daughter first, and realize how uncomfortable it is.
<pulls popcorn out of microwave and starts munching>
Sweetie, somewhere between age 18 and 21 her responsibility to you ended. You have neither the money nor relationship nor equipment to fulfill her needs. Your not having money is not her responsibility. Your reaction to her behavior in her own house is not her responsibility. Rent a room with roommates if you are bothered. Spend your time out of the house if you are bothered. Be thankful she hasn't set up a sex swing in your room.
What are you doing being still in school at 26? By now, your mom should have the privacy of being alone in her own home, where she is free to do whatever, without having someone else there.
Time to leave the nest.
HELLO?! Ever heard of grad school? Very inappropriate comment, "don".
For all those saying "just move out" I can't. I don't make enough and I am busy with school. I just think that she should be putting me, her daughter first, and realize how uncomfortable it is.
Look, I get it, none of us want to see our parents making out with anyone… But! She is the one doing you a favor letting you move back home. As the recipient of the favor you should be putting her first and be thankful that she's letting you stay there. As everyone has said...you are an adult. She really doesn't owe you anything at this point. I understand ...but you need to tread lightly if you wish to stay there.
Well, I disagree with everyone but the OP. Just because it's her mother's house doesn't mean it's appropriate to have make-out sessions throughout the day in full view. It wouldn't kill them to be a little more discreet. Would that be inconvenient to them? Sure, but the world doesn't revolve around them, either. There's such a thing as decency and discretion.
Notice the combative response the mom gave. There seems to be more going on, or more to the mother-daughter relationship, or more to the mom's psychology, than one might think at face value. A kiss is one thing, but making out in front of one's adult kids, or pawing each other, is strange. Would it inconvenience them to have to confine their expressions of affection to more out-of-the-way rooms of the house, for the duration of the OP's extended stay at home? Yes. But that's what we do, out of consideration to others, especially between family members, whom we ostensibly care about. The OP's mom doesn't seem to have a very caring relationship with the OP. I'm sure there's a story behind that.
OP, some moms are so relieved to finally be empty-nesters, that they don't want their kids to bounce back to them, once they go off to college. Some of those moms don't have good bonds with their kids. That's just the way it is. Sounds like you scored such a mom. Plus, you happened to bounce back right in the middle of her finding happiness in a new relationship. Bad timing. Ideally, each of you would cut the other some slack and reach a compromise, but it doesn't sound like she's interested in that. IDK what to tell you, but I hope you do well with your program, and find a great job when you're done, so you can get a nice place of your own. Sorry you have such a rude mom.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 03-14-2018 at 01:37 PM..
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