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Honestly, any distance that takes less than a day's drive but is still too long to make it a simple day trip (there and back) is all the same.
Drive 6 hours, stay and visit, sleep at a hotel (or in your house) - maybe stay another day or two, then drive 6 hours home... is really the same as 9 hour trip. It might be different if it was a 12 hour trip turning into an 18 hour trip.
However, like others said, you need to do what is best for your family. However, not everyone will see it that way. Don't feel guilty, but they will make you feel guilty. That's on them. I moved away from family for various reasons. Everything has been great since then. However, my extended family has pretty much disowned me. Meh. They didn't have to be that way, but that's how it goes.
I had friends with kids, both worked fulltime, that traveled to a city seven hours away every single weekend for years. It was due to helping with caregiving for both families. They left after work/school on Friday night and then drove back late Sunday afternoon. It seemed pretty difficult to me, then my tween/teen daughter got involved in activities in that city and we started doing that trip several times a year and I realized that it really was not that bad a drive after all for a weekend.
I'm not one to let anyone else dictate where I live (hey, they have the option to move closer to ME if they want) so this is really a non-issue. Just live your life.
I'm not one to let anyone else dictate where I live (hey, they have the option to move closer to ME if they want) so this is really a non-issue. Just live your life.
True. Even more so if the grandparents are retired. They could easily move then - IF they wanted to....might be easier than complaining.
Because driving a few hours is a hell of a lot cheaper than flying 4+ people.
Of course driving is cheaper then flying BUT if that was the case then they should have stated that that is why they don't fly.All I read was that they're feeling guilty.If one saves up the following year...for the next one..it is so much easier to just fly.It saves a lot of time and headache...
I would go insane driving with a car of 4 people for over 2 hours.Just save up the money and it will be so much easier in the end if doing it once a year. Now more then once a year...then I guess driving is their only option.
OP here. With three kids, driving is definitely more affordable for us, but we actually enjoy it too! We've been averaging about 6 road trips a year (to see family) for 9 years. We don't mind the driving at all, and neither do our kids, which definitely makes the slightly longer drive seem less daunting.
Of course driving is cheaper then flying BUT if that was the case then they should have stated that that is why they don't fly.All I read was that they're feeling guilty.If one saves up the following year...for the next one..it is so much easier to just fly.It saves a lot of time and headache...
I would go insane driving with a car of 4 people for over 2 hours.Just save up the money and it will be so much easier in the end if doing it once a year. Now more then once a year...then I guess driving is their only option.
It's not always easier to fly. You're restricted in what/how much you can take, you probably have to rent a car at your destination, there's less flexibility in when you arrive and leave, etc.
And prior to the message above, the OP hadn't addressed the question of why they don't fly. I was responding to someone else.
Hello! I'm seeking some peace of mind, but I realize I may also be inviting criticism. I totally understand either way. My husband and I have lived "between" our families since we got married 8 years ago. They're about 6 hours in each direction. However, we've always talked about moving closer to my family -- a goal that became more important after my youngest brother died suddenly a few years ago. My husband also hates change, so we're just now making the move. He accepted a job and will start soon. This will mean his family will have to drive 9 hours to see us instead of 6, as will we. To me, I see it as added inconvenience but nothing insurmountable. We've been driving 6 hours in both directions for years. Are we horrible to be doing this to them? It's our goal to ensure the kids see their paternal grandparents as much as possible, even meeting in the middle when it works.
I'm glad we're finally making a move we've talked about for a long time, but the guilt over the drive time and "choosing" one side of the family to live near is eating at me.
Right off the bat I'll say you're not alone in having feelings of guilt over this, I think it's normal. We moved 3000 miles away from both families...it took us a bit to get over it! But we did get over it and it's OK now.
Try to re-define the guilt as just caring about both families' feelings.
Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate the insight and reassurance. They're not happy with us, but I hope time will show that the added distance is doable.
Of course driving is cheaper then flying BUT if that was the case then they should have stated that that is why they don't fly.All I read was that they're feeling guilty.If one saves up the following year...for the next one..it is so much easier to just fly.It saves a lot of time and headache...
I would go insane driving with a car of 4 people for over 2 hours.Just save up the money and it will be so much easier in the end if doing it once a year. Now more then once a year...then I guess driving is their only option.
It might not even be much of a time savings. Even if the flight is only 1 hour, you have the drive time to the airport. The time spent going through security and waiting for your flight. The time to get off the plane and collect your luggage. The time to get to the wherever you are staying. After all of this, you would be lucky to save 2 hours of time. Why not just drive, save the money, then also you will have your vehicle at your destination.
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