Can't Get Over Sil's Comment

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Lbjen

“As long as it’s all on the up and up”. I’m gonna need you to elaborate on what the obvious meaning of that was, because I didn’t get any other kind of meaning from it. Seriously!

I took it that she's insinuating that the OP might be going on the vacation to screw around on her husband.

[hatethewinter]

Originally Posted by Shamrock123

I am really struggling with a comment my sil said to me this last October.

This is my H's brothers W. It has been years of everyone in the family saying she doesn't mean anything by what she says/does but I really am not so sure.

We went out for dinner with H's sister and her H and H's brother and W. H and I have been going through some financial and health issues. My gf of 25+ years came into some money and she asked me if I would like to go to the Caribbean with her and her mother and aunt for her mothers 75th birthday in November. I said I would love to come but I couldn't afford it and she insisted she would and wanted to pay for me to come as she had alotted a certain amount of a settlement she had received for fun money and she insisted it was no problem so I accepted her amazing offer.

I told my in laws at a dinner out and they were all happy for me. When we were leaving the restaurant, my 2 sil's and I were standing across the parking lot from our H's and I had said good thing I didn't pack up my summer clothes since I would need them for the trip (we were leaving in 2 weeks) cause the weather had stayed so warm and sil leaned forward towards me with eyes half closed and said to me and I quote "as long as it's all on the up and up "........ Ummm what? What was she implying? A comment like that, to me, means she was implying that I could be being deceitful and I was so angry when I got in the car I texted my other sil and she was like oh that's our sil who doesn't make any sense. Really? That makes perfect sense to me and it wasn't bon voyage! I took this comment to mean that what I was doing or who I was doing it with or how I was paying for it or all of the above was being scrutinised and was questionable.. Am I wrong for taking it like this? I just said yeah we're going with 2 little old ladies so no shenanigans. She never said oh I never meant that or anything, she said "well that's good". Then we left and it really hit me in the car that I just had to explain my motives to my sil who has absolutely no reason to think I was up to no good to start with! H was not surprised nor impressed and was really upset for me.

H and his brother are not all that close over their own personal issues so we don't see each other very often but for the big holidays. This year because of this being the last straw for me we haven't seen them since but have had to come up with excuses to avoid them and it's stressing me out. I don't know if H should mention what she said to his brother and tell him how hurt and angry I was or should I say something to her or just keep a distance til we're comfortable and somewhat over it... if ever?

Thoughts and opinions? Tia 😊

You should've winked at her and said "Clooney's free that weekend, don't tell anyone!"
You have / had some health issues, that's where your priority needs to be, getting healthy. Not something your SIL who clearly suffers from diarrhea of the mouth said 5 months ago. You have a husband who wasn't the least concerned about you going away with friends, why do you care what your SIL thinks?

Don't try to come up with excuses to avoid them, a simple "I'm busy" always works for me. Don't give people the impression that you owe them any explanations!

Hope your vacation was a blast!

[BlackberryMerlot]

Originally Posted by Shamrock123

I am really struggling with a comment my sil said to me this last October.

This is my H's brothers W. It has been years of everyone in the family saying she doesn't mean anything by what she says/does but I really am not so sure.

We went out for dinner with H's sister and her H and H's brother and W. H and I have been going through some financial and health issues. My gf of 25+ years came into some money and she asked me if I would like to go to the Caribbean with her and her mother and aunt for her mothers 75th birthday in November. I said I would love to come but I couldn't afford it and she insisted she would and wanted to pay for me to come as she had alotted a certain amount of a settlement she had received for fun money and she insisted it was no problem so I accepted her amazing offer.

I told my in laws at a dinner out and they were all happy for me. When we were leaving the restaurant, my 2 sil's and I were standing across the parking lot from our H's and I had said good thing I didn't pack up my summer clothes since I would need them for the trip (we were leaving in 2 weeks) cause the weather had stayed so warm and sil leaned forward towards me with eyes half closed and said to me and I quote "as long as it's all on the up and up "........ Ummm what? What was she implying? A comment like that, to me, means she was implying that I could be being deceitful and I was so angry when I got in the car I texted my other sil and she was like oh that's our sil who doesn't make any sense. Really? That makes perfect sense to me and it wasn't bon voyage! I took this comment to mean that what I was doing or who I was doing it with or how I was paying for it or all of the above was being scrutinised and was questionable.. Am I wrong for taking it like this? I just said yeah we're going with 2 little old ladies so no shenanigans. She never said oh I never meant that or anything, she said "well that's good". Then we left and it really hit me in the car that I just had to explain my motives to my sil who has absolutely no reason to think I was up to no good to start with! H was not surprised nor impressed and was really upset for me.

H and his brother are not all that close over their own personal issues so we don't see each other very often but for the big holidays. This year because of this being the last straw for me we haven't seen them since but have had to come up with excuses to avoid them and it's stressing me out. I don't know if H should mention what she said to his brother and tell him how hurt and angry I was or should I say something to her or just keep a distance til we're comfortable and somewhat over it... if ever?

Thoughts and opinions? Tia 😊

My thought and opinion on your SIL's comment is that some people have this weird kind of a sense of humor. How about not adding to the drama, forget it and enjoy your trip.

[Ginger34]

I can relate to how the OP feels. Unfortunately I tend to hold things in for years...its really not healthy OP.