If a friend invites you to dinner, do you expect them to pay? (boyfriend, spouse)
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If you invite someone to dinner at your home, you pay. Plain and simple. Note, even as a guest in that situation, I'd still offer to chip in if my host ordered out (not if they cooked from scratch) or, at the very least, bring a side or a bottle of wine! Of course, they'd be more than ok to refuse any offer of assistance from me.
The only time where I wouldn't expect someone to pick up the tab is if we are eating out (then we take care of ourselves), although my old supervisor had a different take on this and insisted that she pay for my lunch since she invited me out to eat.
There is a history here and the OP has stated that she has invited this person out to eat several times and paid for her. The fact that she hasn’t reciprocated up until this incident is already a warning sign. And when the first opportunity comes up, it gets weird, is a clear sign that this person is cheap. I find the motivations of cheap people to be a very strange thing – they manipulate situations to avoid paying for things in ways that make it almost seem like they are playing poker or chess.
OP, I wouldn’t go on the road trip with her but it might still be a worthwhile friendship to keep. Based on the information you have given us, it seems like you are a single mom living a long way from home. With that in mind, you have to weigh the benefits of these friends, who seem like nice people despite their very obvious flaws. Sometimes flawed friends and flawed company are better than none.
That's exactly what it felt like, a chess move. Who's making the first move. Personally, I didn't feel I should have ask about dinner when someone invites me over for dinner. Silly me, I'm just expecting dinner!! I think since I've paid for meals every time we've been out (because it was always my invitation to her) she was expecting me to pay again.
I WON'T be taking her on my road trip. There's just going to be too much worry about what she can and can't afford to do. I want to enjoy myself and not feel like I may have to compromise my vacation based on her situation. It will become too much about "her" and this vacation is about me and my daughter visiting with family we haven't seen in a long time. She is a good person and I do think she's cheap and maybe she's trying to take advantage of the fact that my finances are a bit better than hers. She has her flaws and I have mine. I really hope the friendship survives the "we won't be taking you with us on vacation" conversation.
That's exactly what it felt like, a chess move. Who's making the first move. Personally, I didn't feel I should have ask about dinner when someone invites me over for dinner. Silly me, I'm just expecting dinner!! I think since I've paid for meals every time we've been out (because it was always my invitation to her) she was expecting me to pay again.
I WON'T be taking her on my road trip. There's just going to be too much worry about what she can and can't afford to do. I want to enjoy myself and not feel like I may have to compromise my vacation based on her situation. It will become too much about "her" and this vacation is about me and my daughter visiting with family we haven't seen in a long time. She is a good person and I do think she's cheap and maybe she's trying to take advantage of the fact that my finances are a bit better than hers. She has her flaws and I have mine. I really hope the friendship survives the "we won't be taking you with us on vacation" conversation.
Interesting. It can be a very fine line between "suggesting" and inviting. Room for ambiguity for a cheap or manipulative person to exploit.
It is an odd situation, like, if a friend said to me, "come over for dinner, I made lasagna!" I wouldn't expect to pay for anything, but I would offer to bring wine or dessert. If a friend said, "come over, we'll order pizza!" I would fully expect to chip in for the pizza. I don't know if it's the level of formality or what.
It is an odd situation, like, if a friend said to me, "come over for dinner, I made lasagna!" I wouldn't expect to pay for anything, but I would offer to bring wine or dessert. If a friend said, "come over, we'll order pizza!" I would fully expect to chip in for the pizza. I don't know if it's the level of formality or what.
What if the friend said, “Come over, I’ll order pizza.”
What if the friend said, “Come over, I’ll order pizza.”
The option here was either to meet at a pizza place or at the friend’s house. In that case, I would not expect a person to pay for anything since she was just offering the location.
If a friend invites you to dinner, do you expect them to pay?
To this question... no. We'd split the check.
And about the OP's situation, definitely do NOT let this friend tag along on the trip down to Florida. And actually, she's not a real friend. More like a close acquaintance at best.
People like that are only out for themselves. She lured you over with a promise of dinner, but there was no food because the invite was insincere. The Florida trip will be a free ride for her because she is thinking that you are going to be paying for it anyways. She will buy her own food and snacks, but not think that she has to pay for gas. Who knows about the hotel rooms, maybe she will pay for a cot or sleep on the floor. And her being along will spoil any quality time you might have had with your daughter.
The option here was either to meet at a pizza place or at the friend’s house. In that case, I would not expect a person to pay for anything since she was just offering the location.
I’m not sure if it was mentioned in the thread, but how many kids does the friend have? Is it really THAT hard to buy a pizza for 3-4 people without having another person chip in? lol Geez.
Two weeks ago a friend sent me a text inviting me and my daughter out to dinner Friday night as she was traveling out of state the next week and wanted to see us before she left. She wanted to know if we wanted to have pizza at the local pizza joint or just order in. I told her she could just get a $5 pizza at Little Caesars as my 9 year old is easy to please, no need in spending any real money. I get to her house after picking up my daughter from school around 4:15 and she has cash in her hand. I thought maybe she was waiting for the delivery guy. She proceeds to tell me that the money she had withdrew for her trip is slowly dwindling down. I didn't think anything of it, but by 5:45 when the pizza hadn't arrived and I realized she had no intentions of ordering one we got our stuff and left.
Since some question has come up about the wording of the invitation (if it even was an invitation), I thought I'd review the OP. We don't know what the text said, so maybe the OP could clarify this.
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