Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I made a few new friendships mid-last year when I joined a meetup. I see them once a month for this meetup. And we have had a few other get-togethers throughout the months. The girls seem to text me a lot more than I text them because I find it difficult to do the whole maintenance thing with friendships. It's easy for friends I've had for years because if i don't see/talk to them for a month or two, we just pick up right where we left off and neither of us feels like we need to be in constant contact to keep the friendship alive. So i'm treading new territory here and trying to figure out when/how often I should initiate hanging out. I don't want to overthink this but at the same time I don't want to lose momentum.
I'm sure most people just go with the flow but if I do that I will probably end up not reaching out enough and the friendship might fall apart. So what do you think? how often would you see a new friend or initiate hanging out, especially if you already see them once a month?
Good question. I make new friends sporadically and find myself asking the same.
Text for no reason and not making plans isn't my thing but it is for some. They might just be into texting, keep that in mind.
I think it is safe to initiate at least once a month apart from the meetup. It depends on common interests, free time, and how close you live to one another.
Most of my friends live in my neighborhood and have a common interest. So when I hit the farmer's market tomorrow morning I'll check in to see if others want to go for example. If I'm having a evening out to see a show and I think they'd enjoy it I invite. If I don't have an op like that though asking for lunch or dinner on a weeknight is safe.
I need to work on a new friendship that just came up, thank you for reminding me OP.
They might just be into texting, keep that in mind.
I've been finding this to be true of a LOT of people these days, and it's not just limited to the younger folks. Though oddly, I find the ones that do it the most, or the ones that want to have hours long conversations via texts, are also the ones that lament sitting at home doing nothing yet also never seem to want to get together even at their own house nor go somewhere else. These new friendships typically don't go very far for me. Even as a guy, I don't mind chatting on the phone for an hour or two occasionally, but I want absolutely no part of being glued to that phone screen for hours. At least while talking, I can be doing other things as well if need be, though I still much prefer actual in person communication and activities.
OP - I agree with you about not wanting to text with people. I hate texting and I tell people that.
I like in-person time and use quick emails and phone calls to set that up.
One friend will have her daughter in the car text me if they are running late. Mum can't call while driving. Daughter is shy and doesn't want to phone. I don't mind that.
No Facebook, either. FB is a black hole that eats enormous amounts of time.
i don't mind texting just for the sake of texting. It's just that I still don't know these girls enough to send a quick text about something random i saw/heard.
Like my closer friendships, i know what they like and do, so if i see something or watch some show or have a quick funny thing to send them, i just send it to them, and we might chat for a minute via text. But it's hard to send something like that to new friends because I'm not 100% sure yet if they would be interested in what I'm sending, does that make sense? lol Maybe I still have to get to know them better.
I know once it gets warmer out by me one girl likes to go walking, so I'll send her a text to walk one day so at least I have that lined up. Maybe I shouldn't stress too much about this.
I now use texting exclusively for setting up a meeting or plans, setting up a call, or quick/short answers or status like "on way now." or sending a quick question. I've found anything relating to a discussion or conversation works best either in person or via a phone call.
As for setting up plans? Depends on how many people and what else is going on in your life. I think once or twice a month is nice and adjust from there depending on what activities or events you like to do together.
One friend will have her daughter in the car text me if they are running late. Mum can't call while driving. Daughter is shy and doesn't want to phone. I don't mind that.
Letting the daughter text in that situation isn't going to help her shyness.
I've been finding this to be true of a LOT of people these days, and it's not just limited to the younger folks. Though oddly, I find the ones that do it the most, or the ones that want to have hours long conversations via texts, are also the ones that lament sitting at home doing nothing yet also never seem to want to get together even at their own house nor go somewhere else. These new friendships typically don't go very far for me. Even as a guy, I don't mind chatting on the phone for an hour or two occasionally, but I want absolutely no part of being glued to that phone screen for hours. At least while talking, I can be doing other things as well if need be, though I still much prefer actual in person communication and activities.
Yep. Seems many people think text only relationships are real relationships. No thank you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
