My wifes friend wont talk to her anymore because..... (member, sister, issues)

[hertfordshire]

Why would your wife joke about something like that? Would she joke about a friend's cancer or mental illness?

[luzianne]

I am guessing it's HPV that the friend has. Regardless, you don't joke about someone having any kind of STD. It's not funny.

[Tominftl]

Inappropriate joke. You don’t joke at someone else’s expense. Tell your wife to apologize and hope the woman accepts it otherwise, shuffle off....

[jerseygal4u]

Originally Posted by luzianne

I am guessing it's HPV that the friend has. Regardless, you don't joke about someone having any kind of STD. It's not funny.

I guessed genital herpes,which is also common.

But somethng else is in the details------How in the world do you OP,know your wife's friend has an STD?

Your wife told you about it,even though your friend told her in confidence?

HiPAA violation.

[Zoisite]

Yes, your wife was insensitive. There are some things you just don't ever make a joke about and a friend's STD is one of those things. As mentioned above, the friend is really hurting right now, not just because of having an STD but also because of the circumstances by which she got the STD, and your wife isn't being sensitive to the friend's emotional pain and sense of betrayal.

If your wife wants her ex-friend back as a friend she will need to acknowledge that she added to the friend's pain and feelings of betrayal and will need to demonstrate sincere, genuine, heartfelt apologies to the friend and ask her what she can do to make up for it.

But I suspect it might be too late for that now since several weeks have already gone by, the friend won't respond to calls and apparently no hard effort other than calls were made by your wife to rectify the situation. So maybe your wife wasn't really a very good friend or didn't care about her enough anyway, otherwise she'd have made much more demonstrative efforts to show remorse than just phone calls by now.

Perhaps her pride won't let your wife admit that she was wrong. But she should be prepared now to scratch one friend off her list of long time friends and be careful in the future to give more diplomatic thought to what comes out of her mouth towards her remaining friends.

Does wife have no personal sensitivities of her own that she is susceptible to? Maybe she needs to be gently reminded of what her own sensitivities would be if circumstances were a different scenario and the shoe was on the other foot.

.

[hertfordshire]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

I guessed genital herpes,which is also common.

But somethng else is in the details------How in the world do you OP,know your wife's friend has an STD?

Your wife told you about it,even though your friend told her in confidence?

HiPAA violation.

HIPAA only applies to healthcare providers.

[Sockeye66]

Originally Posted by hertfordshire

HIPAA only applies to healthcare providers.

Thank you! And of course the conversation was only between the wife and friend, not shared publicly.

That said, the wife was in the error on this one, obviously the "joke" wasn't funny to the subject of it.

[Caltovegas]

If alone and it were guys there would have been some cursing and name calling but it would have been squashed. In most instances... A 10 year relationship over? Just fix it...

[ForLoveOnly]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

I guessed genital herpes,which is also common.

But somethng else is in the details------How in the world do you OP,know your wife's friend has an STD?

Your wife told you about it,even though your friend told her in confidence?

HiPAA violation.

No it's not. It's a friend telling a friend.

[PriscillaVanilla]

Originally Posted by HTY483

So my wife has (had) a close friend that she has known for almost 10 years. Unfortunately though, she said something that offended this woman very deeply and she wont even return my wifes calls. It's been several weeks. I guess this woman has an STD (Not AIDS/HIV......I dont think) and my wife made a joke about it but wont acknowledge the fact that what she said was insensitive. If it had been me on the butt end of such a joke I would have been offended but my wife doesnt see it that way and thinks that her friend is over reacting. She pointed out that the STD her friend has is somewhat common and not life threatening.

There is still a stigma attached to have an STD and your wife should be sensitive to that. It's hard for her to understand, I'm sure, if she doesn't have the same issue going on in her life. She should apologize, and offer to buy her friend lunch or send her a bouquet of flowers. If she stands any chance of getting her friend back.