Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We've got two adults in our familiy (one on my side, one on the in-laws side) who never left home. One's pushing 40 and the other is 50+.
IMO, lots of issues in both cases, but different from the ones in the OP.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
As the man is in his 50s already, he probably is not only taking care of himself, but also taking care of his elderly mother and the house is well! His mom is likely in her 80s by now. Do you really think she's the one getting out and mowing the lawn and fixing the plumbing?
I know this wasn't directed at me, but in my particular instance of the "man in his 50's", his mother still does the bulk of the housework (including his laundry and the cooking) and mows the lawn. He doesn't have any plumbing skills to speak of, that gets outsourced. Other than driving her to appointments and on errands, I'm not sure what chores he handles.
In contrast to the OP, it's usually the moms who complain to me about it. I think the adult children are content (or at least not miserable) with the current set-ups.
I've seen you express this view on other threads. Just curious if you have an adult son living with you or if you know of an adult offspring who does this? ......which causes you to arrive at this view. Or experienced it in your life in some way? Or if you just feel it as a principle without knowing someone? .
No, my kids are not adults, I'm married and I don't live at home with my parents. I just don't see how it's anyone else's business if someone has an adult child living at home with them. What are you going to do about it? Stage an intervention and try to get them to move out? They might not move out, no matter how much you disapprove of their lifestyle. They could even be sitting in the house watching TV all day long. Who knows. But there's not much you can do about it. I wouldn't date or marry a man who lived at home at that age; but not all men want to marry or have families, so that's their prerogative.
I knew quite a few that never left home. I know of 2 families that none of the kids ever left. After the parents died they continued to live together in the parents home until they died.
3 of my cousins never left home. 1 is dead the other 2 still live in the same house long after the parents have been dead.
I know of women that when the sister got married and moved out, their sister came too and stayed with the couple until they died.
All of these people were very well off financially. They traveled quite a bit, went out often, had relationships, really nice cars, they just lived with family.
I couldn't do it but I don't condemn the ones that do.
my brother (now age 62) is a very successful attorney. He left home for college and then moved back home with the parents after finishing law school. He stayed living at home for over a decade until his early 40s and he only moved out because people told him it "looked strange" to still be living with his parents. So for "a better professional image" he got his own condo, in the same town a few miles away which his mother picked out for him and furnished for him and yes cleans for him. He still spends every weekend at home with his mother cooking for him and yes doing his laundry like she has for now yes 60+ years.
I don't see what the big deal is. I moved out of my parents house for college and returned for a couple of years in my early 20s....But just looking at some of the women I see every day it's like ewww. And I can't help but think about the guys who I KNOW think the same thing yet play jedi mind tricks just to get married for reasons i am guessing are desperation, conformity, and peer pressure or who knows? So i can see not finding a woman and since he is not married then why bother moving out. I think it is more common than you think in other cultures. I've been to Chicago and it was cold...so I can see bitching about wisconsin weather also.
my brother (now age 62) is a very successful attorney. He left home for college and then moved back home with the parents after finishing law school. He stayed living at home for over a decade until his early 40s and he only moved out because people told him it "looked strange" to still be living with his parents. So for "a better professional image" he got his own condo, in the same town a few miles away which his mother picked out for him and furnished for him and yes cleans for him. He still spends every weekend at home with his mother cooking for him and yes doing his laundry like she has for now yes 60+ years.
it's his life. his choice. he never married.
If he is 62 I suspect that his mother is somewhere between her early 80s and mid 90s. I wonder what will happen when his mother dies and he suddenly is faced with doing his own cooking, cleaning and laundry? Well, I suppose that he can always get married now and have his wife do those things for him. Or maybe he will expect his sister to take over those chores.
IMHO, the saddest thing is that your mother probably would appreciate someone helping her with those chores instead of doing all the work for a grown son who should have learned those skills decades ago.
Did you ever think maybe she likes doing it? Further, these things are not difficult to do especially for a successful lawyer. Successful men who can't bother with thee things order take out; drop their laundry off and get it done for 1.75$ a shirt; and often neglect cleaning till they have a date of something :/ Don't ask me how I know these things
I have a friend whom I have known since 1980. He is my age, 56, and still lives at home with his parents. He is intelligent, good looking and has a good job. He constantly states he can't find a good woman. I think to myself "Who the hell wants to date someone who is your age and still living at home in your child-hood bedroom??" Seriously?
He also states he hates the weather in this state (WI) and wants to live somewhere warm. Back about 10 years ago I got sick of him complaining so I said "Why the heck don't you just move??" He said "Well, the jobs don't pay well in Florida where I want to be". Now his excuse is his parents are "getting on in age and he is afraid they will die if he leaves".
His FB status is constantly (when it isn't summer around here) "XX days till summer and warm weather". Constantly. It's like a broken record. LOL
He has no kids, no big bills, etc etc.
Anybody else know someone like this? LOL
Wow - talk about epic parenting fail! I can't help but think of Will Ferrell's character in Wedding Crashers! HEY MA!!! THE MEATLOAF"!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
