Do you know a constant complainer?? (house, aging, partner, toxic)
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My mother was like that. She was never happy. The problem was that she complained about everything so when she really had a problem, no one in the family took her seriously. It was like the boy who cried "wolf". People who didn't live with her would take all her complaints seriously, even when she made mountains out of molehills. I remember my aunt got angry at us because we said nothing as my mother droned on and on about how horrible her life was. What my aunt didn't understand was that nothing we did could make my mother happy, so we just couldn't win.
Worse yet, I AM one! And I was totally clueless about it. I grew up with a horribly sarcastic older sibling. I had no idea that people were supposed to talk about pleasant things. Imagine how shocked I was when I found out about the concept of "uplifting" topics of conversation.
I've tried to cut it out, but it's hard to change. I think you could gently point it out to the person. They may not realize how miserable it is to be around a constant complainer.
I have a younger friend who in her thirties, ended up with a lifelong medical problem that has ruined her life. She is in pain 24/7.
I feel so very sorry for this younger woman because she had a wonderful job and was very athletic. Now she can hardly lift her arms or bend over to pick something up without suffering terribly the next day or so.
She posts these sad things on face book about her pain and suffering and I'm at the point where I don't know what to say to her other than I'm so sorry and (hugs). It's a sad, sad situation that won't ever get better. She will only get worse.
My mother is a constant complainer! She complains about everything!! I can only take so much of her negativity. She’s been that way forever, but seems to be getting worse the older she gets. I think it’s actually kind of sad. She’s not depressed in any way, but just can’t ever find anything nice to say.
I actually thought about that too especially since I don't see her often but then some one else pointed made a comment.
Parking lot was bumpy with a lot of holes, she complained.
Parking lot was getting resurfaced. She complained about them doing it on a sunny day.
automatic hallway lights don't react fast enough (we have automatic lights in the hallway, if they don't sense movement they will turn the lights off after I think 10 minutes), switched over to supposedly low energy bulbs that stay on all the time? that actually was a 2fer, she complained that we were having a large environmental footprint and that if the company could afford to change they could afford to give us a raise. That was a long complaint until she found out that we actually did get a 4% raise this year and a bump up in our 401K match from 50 cent on the dollar to dollar for dollar.
nope, I don't think I'm missing hte mark on this one.
If the complaints really get to you, then you might just avoid being around her.
I had to do this just a few days ago with an employee that was wondering why she was never called in for extra shifts. I told her flat out that nobody wanted to work with her, as all she did was complain. She then called my boss, who told her that I did her a favor by being perfectly honest with her. This worker ended up apologizing and promised she will do better. Today she was right back to complaining about her life, her lack of money, her health, etc, etc.
Well, I took what she had to say to heart. Like I said, I was embarrassed, but I think, even then, that I realized she was doing me a favor to tell me.
My manager was old enough to be my mother, but we stayed friends even after I didn't work there anymore.
There's a lady I work with now, who is a complainer. But worse, she's mean spirited, and back stabbing kind of person. Happily, we're not in the same department, so I don't have to interact with her very much. She's almost...a caricature of a 'bad' person.
She's done a few 'small' things to me. There was no lasting harm, but it sure raised my radar to her ways.
But the worst? Several years ago, a man in her department had died suddenly. She had the gall to bad mouth him to anyone and everyone after he died. She'd tell anyone how much she had always hated him, how awful he was, etc. The thing was...he wasn't a bad guy at all. Just a guy.
I'm a smoker. She used to be a smoker. She'd be outside at the same time as me, as well as a few other people. And she'd start in on how terrible this guy was, and how much she hated him. It was literally so bad, that I would have to seriously...just walk away from her. I guess it was rude...but it was like how you'd walk away from a bon fire, if you were getting too hot.
She always talks bad about her husband. I've never heard her say anything nice about him. One time, she was telling me how her husband had inherited some of his dad's jewelry. I don't think it was a whole lot...2 or 3 gold rings, and maybe a chain.
She said he never wore the stuff, he just kept it in a drawer. So one day, she decided to take the jewelry, turn it in for the gold value, and use the money for botox shots. (I'm not sure how many shots she got out of it).
I asked her if she asked her husband for the jewelry. Nope. She said he'd never miss it. I thought it was rather awful to do that.
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