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I know of people who will "unload" their problems, I don't see those as complainers. It's good to get some stuff off your chest. Typically just one or two problems they've had during the day, but they are generally happy people.
I also know of a few who will FIND something to complain about. Almost to the point that if they see that you are happy, they will do their best to bring you down. Dated one like that, complained that I didn't go see some friends of mine. When I did, she complained that I went out with them. Don't know if she's classified as a complainer or a total beeotch. lol
I've found that if they "suck you in" then you'll start complaining more also. If you see what is going on, then you realize that you should be very happy about your life as you aren't as miserable as they are and that life really is nice when your not p!$$ed off all the time. lol
Look at all these judgey posters here -- posting your complaints here about people who complain! Good grief, just leave them alone, because I'm pretty sure you don't know their life experiences. Yeah, it'd be an amazing world if we were all alike, but as they say, pretty damn boring....
And for those OPs complaining about your mother....soon enough she won't be around to complain about....get over yourselves!
Look at all these judgey posters here -- posting your complaints here about people who complain! Good grief, just leave them alone, because I'm pretty sure you don't know their life experiences. Yeah, it'd be an amazing world if we were all alike, but as they say, pretty damn boring....
And for those OPs complaining about your mother....soon enough she won't be around to complain about....get over yourselves!
Luckily, I can easily avoid complainers since I work at home. When I run into them out and about, I just cut the conversation short and leave.
I have noticed complainers almost always have high self esteem and entitlement. They assume we are interested in whatever they are complaining about. Politics, relatives, work, neighbors, weather, etc.
They also appear to be extroverts more often that not IMO.
I just wish they would all hang out together and leave the rest of us alone.
My brother became a HUGE complainer starting around age 25. I tried to tell him about it but he wouldn't hear of it. I was wrong.
The negativity got so bad, I had to break ties with him. That lasted 15 years until the medics discovered he had a brain tumor.
After his first surgery, I asked the doctor if the tumor or placement of it could have been why brother went from being a nice guy to a hugely negative, critical person. The doc said "absolutely."
So the last 6 months of his life, I hung out with him a few times every week and listened to him complain about everything. He couldn't help it. Pretty easy to forgive.
Sometimes the complainer is not really complaining. It is merely an observation that sounds like a complaint. It also depends on the tone of voice and which words are emphasized.
Complainers are undervalued. I enjoy hearing complaints about things I don't like. If I say it will rain and sleet tomorrow, someone may interpret that as a complaint. It is only a prediction.
When you complain about someone's complaining, you are complaining yourself!
I have a friend like that. I find it amusing. She is 77 and the other day someone said she was surprised to learn her age because she doesn't look a day over 70. She was annoyed because "most people think I'm in my 60s".
She is unhappy with whatever her children give her for birthdays or Christmas, and it is amusing because I can see the hostility from the kids (who are all in their 50s) that has developed. For example: her daughter owns a florist and gave her mother a balloon--not flowers--on her 75th birthday. But if she'd gotten flowers, they would have been the wrong kind or color, so I see why the daughter did that.
Join the complaint...I mean the club. It seems like it's worse when she comes home from visiting her mom. Every couple of months I have to tell her to ****...well not in those exact words obviously. I'm much more tactful and she really does make an effort to dial it down if I say something.
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