Is it normal to not see long distance friends for 25 to 35 years at a time? (person, member)
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I have a few long distance friends that I have not seen in nearly 20 years and I have pretty much given up hope of ever successfully planning a get together to go out for lunch or dinner with them. Does anyone else think it normal and expected that long distance friends won't see each other face to face for stretches of 20 or 25 years, even 30 or 40 years at a time?
It can happen. You move far apart. Maybe each member of the other couple works different jobs; each member of your couple working different jobs. Each couple is raising kids and then becomes part of the sandwich generation.
If you've kept in touch somewhat, then bring up a 'hey, things are finally a little more on track in our lives. How about getting together when we're in urtown next month/at the beach in a couple months/at that trail we used to hike before it gets to hot'.
Those would just be people I used to know. Friends are the people in my life now.
If you did see those people you probably wouldn't like each other. People change and when you aren't together to see the gradual changes it is a really big difference.
IMHO, In this internet age, it's quite possible for people to go decades and not see each other in person, even if they chat daily and are very 'close'
I have a few friends I've met online, formed real friendships with, met maybe once or twice ever, some we may never meet in person, but we talk daily on facebook and I probably know more about them than other friends who are much closer. These relationships are what we make them.
I have a few long distance friends that I have not seen in nearly 20 years and I have pretty much given up hope of ever successfully planning a get together to go out for lunch or dinner with them. Does anyone else think it normal and expected that long distance friends won't see each other face to face for stretches of 20 or 25 years, even 30 or 40 years at a time?
It just happens. That's life. You don't have to give up hope of ever seeing them again. I saw a couple of friends after at least that long, and we picked up our friendships again.
I am from NJ. Two of my high school friends moved out west in their 20s, one to California, one to Colorado. I visited the friend in Colorado in 1978. She came here for my wedding in 1989 and our 20-year HS reunion in 1996. I next saw her in 2016 at the 40-year reunion.
Meanwhile, I didn't see the California friend for about 30 years. Her sister lived about an hour from me and she flew out to see her a few years in a row and asked me to meet her every year.
At the end of this past year, the California friend contacted the Colorado friend and me and asked if we wanted to set up a three-way phone call between Christmas and New Year's. We did, and the three of us talked for two hours, and we will again.
It can happen. Sometimes someone has to make a concrete plan instead of just "let's get together sometime".
I'd say so, if one is fortunate enough to reach age 50 or so.
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