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Basically I have a friend of almost 10 years and we have been off an on friends with benefits as well as good friends.
She had a boy friend a few years ago and things were not going well at all. She was planning on breaking up with him so basically I seduced her, cause I know we would both enjoy it and that she would have no regrets about it cause things were not going well with her by and she responded positively to it and had no problem reciprocating.
Later on, she had another guy she started seeing. She wasn't sure if they were exclusive or not, so I made fun about it, saying there is one way to find out and then I kissed her and she kissed me back and then we hooked up, and she did feel bad about that one later. I told her I was sorry and I shouldn't have done that if it made her do something she would regret.
We were still friends from then and still are.
Now I have a new girl I am seeing and we went out about six times now I think. So she wanted to seduce me but I told her maybe I shouldn't cause I don't want to ruin things with this new girl and do not know if we are exclusive or not, but even at the same time, do not want to hurt her.
She got turned off and said I was being totally double standard about it, since I talked her into going behind the other guys' backs twice, but now I won't do the same for her.
She said that I am being double standardish cause I felt she was worth talking into doing something behind their backs, but I now I consider myself above that.
Do you think that's true though? I don't want to lose a friend over it, but she says she is mad and turned off me, not just for sex, but just me in general now. What do you think?
Basically I have a friend of almost 10 years and we have been off an on friends with benefits as well as good friends.
She had a boy friend a few years ago and things were not going well at all. She was planning on breaking up with him so basically I seduced her, cause I know we would both enjoy it and that she would have no regrets about it cause things were not going well with her by and she responded positively to it and had no problem reciprocating.
Later on, she had another guy she started seeing. She wasn't sure if they were exclusive or not, so I made fun about it, saying there is one way to find out and then I kissed her and she kissed me back and then we hooked up, and she did feel bad about that one later. I told her I was sorry and I shouldn't have done that if it made her do something she would regret.
We were still friends from then and still are.
Now I have a new girl I am seeing and we went out about six times now I think. So she wanted to seduce me but I told her maybe I shouldn't cause I don't want to ruin things with this new girl and do not know if we are exclusive or not, but even at the same time, do not want to hurt her.
She got turned off and said I was being totally double standard about it, since I talked her into going behind the other guys' backs twice, but now I won't do the same for her.
She said that I am being double standardish cause I felt she was worth talking into doing something behind their backs, but I now I consider myself above that.
Do you think that's true though? I don't want to lose a friend over it, but she says she is mad and turned off me, not just for sex, but just me in general now. What do you think?
You treated her badly. You behaved selfishly, like a hypocrite. You certainly were not a friend. Leave her alone.
Yeah I know, I apologized to her back then for it. But do you think since I treated her badly, and was being selfish, that she deserves to be selfish herself now, cause of what I did?
Yeah I know, I apologized to her back then for it. But do you think since I treated her badly, and was being selfish, that she deserves to be selfish herself now, cause of what I did?
It's not that she "deserves to be selfish"? She deserves to be able to date other guys without you playing games and using her for your own pleasure.
It seems your "seduced" girl knows nothing about personal responsibility and you took advantage of it. Its silly to expect a person like this to stop being selfish.
OP, you are in the wrong. Plain and simple. It sounds like you are deciding for her when a shaky relationship should end. Let her figure it out. If anything, you are abusing your "friends with benefits" privilege. She'd be much better off if you left her alone.
Basically I have a friend of almost 10 years and we have been off an on friends with benefits as well as good friends.
She had a boy friend a few years ago and things were not going well at all. She was planning on breaking up with him so basically I seduced her, cause I know we would both enjoy it and that she would have no regrets about it cause things were not going well with her by and she responded positively to it and had no problem reciprocating.
Later on, she had another guy she started seeing. She wasn't sure if they were exclusive or not, so I made fun about it, saying there is one way to find out and then I kissed her and she kissed me back and then we hooked up, and she did feel bad about that one later. I told her I was sorry and I shouldn't have done that if it made her do something she would regret.
We were still friends from then and still are.
Now I have a new girl I am seeing and we went out about six times now I think. So she wanted to seduce me but I told her maybe I shouldn't cause I don't want to ruin things with this new girl and do not know if we are exclusive or not, but even at the same time, do not want to hurt her.
She got turned off and said I was being totally double standard about it, since I talked her into going behind the other guys' backs twice, but now I won't do the same for her.
She said that I am being double standardish cause I felt she was worth talking into doing something behind their backs, but I now I consider myself above that.
Do you think that's true though? I don't want to lose a friend over it, but she says she is mad and turned off me, not just for sex, but just me in general now. What do you think?
Yes, you are using the ole double standard....and you weren't aware???
Some friend you are...
...focus on new girl and leave the other alone.
You 'seduced' her, you didn't force her, she made up her own mind She is, I assume, an adult
She's being immature and probably unreasonably jealous to want to even what she considers 'the score'
Do what you feel is best for your new relationship,
Okay thanks, I feel bad and don't want to even out the score. I think I should stick with the new girl and not sleep with the friend. I guess I didn't think of it as a double standard, because the difference was is that she didn't mind cheating on her men, where as I do for mine.
She also told me before that no matter what bf she has, she will always never be able to resist me. So when she says that I felt that she opened a door though to seduce her, compared to not opening one at all.
She also told me before that no matter what bf she has, she will always never be able to resist me.
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She deserves to be able to date other guys without you playing games and using her for your own pleasure.
