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Seriously though, do you pick places that require reservations? Or have you decided those are just too high brow? Some places are inexpensive, but there is a set time you have to come to actually eat.
Well, the third couple weren't "randos". I knew them fairly well, and agreed to let them come. The unexpected guest was the baby, who shrieked and cried a lot. I've actually seen the baby before, only it was on "neutral territory" (not organized by me), where I technically had no right to speak up. I just felt uncomfortable with the baby at my birthday dinner, considering I'm childfree. Which my friends knew, although that couple probably didn't and wasn't informed.
Oh, I see. I didn't realize you knew them. But I agree with you, it's rude to bring a child to an adult get together without clearing it with all parties first. Especially a celebratory dinner. Get a sitter!
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist
I understand that both my friends will have kids in the future, which will create a whole new set of problems for future get-togethers. For now, my contingency plan is Meetup groups. I've never seen kids get brought there, and a large number of people are childfree, like me. (A few groups even have an "18+ only, no exceptions" rule.)
Yeah, get ready to lose friends when they have kids. People cease to be able to attend any adult function when they have kids, apparently. No one just gets a babysitter anymore and they expect to bring their kids everywhere. I've had people bring a toddler on a bike ride that was planned to be 15-20 miles! Sorry, not interested in biking at toddler speed. If people won't make the effort to interact with friends without their kids around, they aren't worth having as friends.
Read through the first page of replies, and I'm going to side with you for a couple of reasons.
1. I don't get why people are giving you grief over throwing a "party" for yourself.I've thrown a birthday get together before, 2x actually. Usually dinner and drinks or an afternoon at the beach. I give everyone plenty of time in advanced and offered to buy food for one get together. People flake out. Unless you're a REALLY good friend, most people don't want to bother for some reason. I learned that the last and final time I planned one. Flaking out is the new black.
2. Being in a relationship is no excuse. The couple with the 10-month old gets a pass from me just because it can be hard to keep a schedule with a fussy baby unless you're totally on top of your sh*t. They probably couldn't find a babysitter.
3. Find new friends.These people are not worth your time. You learn this here, you will learn it again at your wedding one day. Quick story, one of the friends I invited to these get togethers (who didn't show) ended up in my wedding party. I came to her wedding despite living on the other side of the country, not having enough PTO, and while sick (caught something on the flight over). I wasn't even in her wedding party. She, in turn, gave me drama throughout my wedding planning, flew in late the night wedding festivities began, and asked if I'd be upset if she left my wedding early to catch a flight 2 hrs away. Needless to say, she's no longer my "friend" anymore; she probably never was.
People have lives, yeah I get that, but if you want to build long-term relationships you have to be intentional. It's inconvenient to drive over to some get together, but flaking out basically means you don't care. These people don't care anymore. Find a group of people who do because I assure you, they are out there.
You answered your own question.
Anyway, the OPs friends "just aren't that into him" anymore. Move on.
Seriously though, do you pick places that require reservations? Or have you decided those are just too high brow? Some places are inexpensive, but there is a set time you have to come to actually eat.
No, there are only two kinds of eateries in the whole world: a Chuck E. Cheese for grown ups, or a stuffy, expensive restaurant. No other choices.
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