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I have one GF who is pretty fabulous, great outgoing personality, pretty, very fashionable, amazing singing voice.... the whole package.
AND she has a heart of gold and very open emotionally.
I remind myself, that her being her does not diminish me, being me.
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Have you ever dropped a friend due to you being too jealous of the person and it made you feel badly too often, so you dropped the person rather than wanting to try to cope with the feelings of jealousy?
No. Not unless they were rubbing it in my face. I'm not a jealous person by nature.
I think people don't understand he meaning of the word "friend" anymore. People bail far too easily.
Agree with this 100%! Some of the reasons people on forums give for dropping a friendship are so superficial. IMHO the two were never really friends at all, they were convenient ego-stroking acquaintances. A true deep-seated relationship with another person isn't static. We all go through changes in our lives so our relationships do too. Show me someone who never goes through tougher or better times and who doesn't adjust to the same things in the people they know and I'll show you a stone monument. A friendship is something you invest in through thick and thin. A person like this is also going to show you a mirror for your own good occasionally. It is ridiculous to expect every person in your life to be inhumanly perfect. Newsflash....you are not perfect either.
Have you ever dropped a friend due to you being too jealous of the person and it made you feel badly too often, so you dropped the person rather than wanting to try to cope with the feelings of jealousy?
No. The only thing I've experienced is being envious of someone's brains or social graces, and I spend time with them in the hopes of improving myself.
Yes....during my early years. She was articulate,stunning, and beyond her years in being on the cutting edge of worldly matters. Sadly I tossed it away without thinking how it impacted her. Years (decades actually) we got in touch and I apologized. The damage was done...too little to late. She sincerely with held her envy...who knew that someone I admired so....thought I was her inspiration . Yet there it was...two friends that held each other in high esteem...unable to say it . And thus changing our lives. She was my sister in spirit. Did learn not to put folks on pedestals though...unless I was willing to wobble on that chair with em.
Maybe it's best to let this one cool off for awhile. Even if the friendship does not run as true and deep as it should, she is still a career contact for you. No sense burning bridges.
IF she gets too boastful and full of herself, hear her out once and change the subject. She should get the hint after a few times of this tactic.
Gentle reminder, I do not know your exact ages, but regarding your situation, there is ageism actively going on in the employment Marketplace...her youth is part of her advantage.
There is jealousy among friends, just as there is jealousy between two spouses, between partners, between two people who are dating.
Jealousy is also seen between 3 female friends - for example, if 2 of the 3 become closer, or if 2 of the 3 exclude the 3rd friend on some occasions.
It is not rare.
I've seen friends grow apart or stop seeing each other because it's difficult for one person to be around the other, if one has more positive things going on in life - all kinds of things happen in friendships & relationships.
In this thread, I wasn't asking for people to outright admit that they have feelings of jealousy - vague references to what you've seen happen without dwelling on yourself would be fine - people seem more willing to admit to feelings of jealousy when it's between a husband and wife, between two people who are dating, between romantic partners.
People also at times deliberately try to make others jealous - between romantic partners and between friends.
Yes, to some it can signal that one in a non-optimal state of adult development, but it certainly is not rare.
Last edited by matisse12; 05-13-2018 at 03:58 PM..
The most comfortable relationships are ones with parity or roughly equitable contributions over time between the participants. If the balance is out of whack with one carrying the greater load socially, financially, logistically, emotionally, time investment, etc. over time the wheels tend to come off. It's the whole "unequally yoked" situation. It might not be "jealousy" per se but rather a poor fit for a long haul friendship. Just a thought.
There was a woman I worked with way back in my early days of marriage who seemed to delight in trying to make wives jealous. My husband asked me one day if she was mentally all there and I asked why and he told me he wasn’t comfortable with her behaviour and felt she was trying to use him to get a rise out of me. to be honest Matisse I can’t say I’ve ever been jealous. My attitude has always been that people will always be fatter/thinner, smarter/dumber, richer/poorer etc than me, so I focus on just being the best I can be.
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