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Old 05-13-2018, 09:53 PM
 
2,301 posts, read 1,877,175 times
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My mom died in 11/2017. I stayed home all day and mostly cried. Being on Facebook sucked. Being an orphan sucks.
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Old 05-13-2018, 10:22 PM
 
Location: Gettysburg, PA
3,051 posts, read 2,909,664 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thundarr457 View Post
Its Mothers Day again. My mom passed in 1984 when I was only 34, after a 15 year battle with cancer. I don't remember all that much anymore, except she passed while we were at Disney World (still feels weird to go there). For all those out there who are lucky enough to still have their moms, enjoy them even if they drive you crazy. Soon enough (hopefully never) they will only be a memory. My mom drove me crazy. I was a total momma's boy and devastated when she died. After a period of time I gathered myself and moved on with my life. I know my mom is up there looking out for me. Happy Mother's Day, mom.
I'm sorry. Thank you for sharing. I still have my mother for a little while at least, she will be 72 this September. I think all the time about how she will be gone in so many years and then I won't be able to talk to her. She was my best friend for a while, up until I met my husband. While I was suffering from depression in Las Vegas, I would talk to her almost every day. Over the years I have grown into drastically different beliefs as hers politically and religiously, but we try not to bring those things up when we talk as they often turn into fights.

I will miss my mother terribly when she passes, so I enjoy talking to her all I can even if she can irritate me at times and I foolishly get snappy with her (she still calls me her best and I think to myself what an awful child I am. She is just the best mother I could have had. I love her to death and should love her so much more).
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Old 05-14-2018, 01:33 AM
 
1,717 posts, read 1,680,551 times
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Losing a mother is the hardest loss. Mine's been gone for 23 years now. She died from skin cancer and fought a year with chemo and radiation. Skin cancer is the worst.

Hugs to all those who have lost their moms or are having a difficult time with aging moms. It's so hard. A mom is a support, one that is in your corner, thinking of you and wanting the best for you. At least mine was. She was my advocate, my sounding board, she was there when I needed her and always willing to listen. She is still deeply missed.

I do think Mother's Day is a day of mourning for many. My hubby treats it as a special day to do something nice for me. Like another valentines day.
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Old 05-14-2018, 01:41 AM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
9,512 posts, read 6,055,751 times
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I went to the graveyard today to see my mom for the second year. I’ve been in a suspended state of grief since she died in March of 2017.

I just can’t let myself cry; I have my disabled son with me every minute except while he’s in school & if I’m not okay then he is not safe.

Today I almost cracked. I put the flowers on her grave while he ran on his toes back & forth. I could tell he was picking up on my stress so I went to walk him back to the car & I just froze. I looked at him & back towards her grave & back at him ... Then I heard a little girls voice say “No. No, please don’t make me go. I don’t want to leave her here! I don’t want to leave my mamma.”

My son stood completely still & was looking at me almost like he was afraid & I realized the little girls voice had been me. I felt so bad. I didn’t mean to scare him. I really need to get a grip on myself.
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Old 05-14-2018, 06:13 AM
 
Location: north narrowlina
765 posts, read 471,254 times
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I'm always thrilled to hear that there are so many people out there who had mothers diametrically different from mine. As a child, my home was a hallucination gone haywire..... and it wasn't until after my mother did that i found a way to forgive her with the help of a wise Indian shaman..... he told me that NOW she is not the mother she once was, for she was now a part of the great love of the universe once again, and as such, she is exactly the mother i should have had.... everyday talk to her, tell her you forgive her..........

and so i have, and will continue to do. I mention this because i know i'm not the only person who ever had a really cruel, vicious and violent mother, and i hope my experience with that shaman might prove effective for those too who haven't been able to forgive.
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Old 05-14-2018, 11:04 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,352 posts, read 19,983,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhureeKeeper View Post
My Mom is still alive, but mentally she's gone. Our relationship has changed in just the past couple of years. I'm the "mom" now, but I'm glad she still knows who I am.

Cherish all of your loved ones.

my mother died in early November, 2006, but I lost her nearly a decade earlier to dementia.... switching the mother / daughter roles was so hard, but I am glad I found the wherewithal to take on the responsibility, even with no support or understanding from either my brother or my then-husband.

Her eventual death was in some ways a relief.... she was no longer trapped in her failed mind and failing body, but no matter how ready you think you are, it is still a punch in the gut.....

Mother's Day is a double treat for me now, with my mom gone and me not having any children of my own..... random people tell me happy mother's day or ask me if I am having a nice mother's day and I just smile and nod and say yes and thank you.....
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Old 05-14-2018, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Dark Side of the Moon
274 posts, read 236,278 times
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I was fortunate to have my mother in my life until i was sixty. Technically this was my second mother's day without her, but this time last year I was busy with my father who was in failing health so the day passed without me giving it much thought.

Now both are gone, and I really felt the loss yesterday. When i was a teenager, I often wished I had different parents. Mine were very strict, and this led to many years of rebellion and periods of estrangement after I left home.

After I married and had my own children, we repaired our relationship and they were wonderful grandparents. We became much more like good friends than parent/child and I'm grateful that there was enough love and forgiveness on both sides to make this possible.

Thanks to my own children, this year wasn't exactly depressing, but I definitely felt the void.
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Old 05-14-2018, 10:27 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
9,512 posts, read 6,055,751 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ceiligrrl View Post
I'm always thrilled to hear that there are so many people out there who had mothers diametrically different from mine. As a child, my home was a hallucination gone haywire..... and it wasn't until after my mother did that i found a way to forgive her with the help of a wise Indian shaman..... he told me that NOW she is not the mother she once was, for she was now a part of the great love of the universe once again, and as such, she is exactly the mother i should have had.... everyday talk to her, tell her you forgive her..........

and so i have, and will continue to do. I mention this because i know i'm not the only person who ever had a really cruel, vicious and violent mother, and i hope my experience with that shaman might prove effective for those too who haven't been able to forgive.
That is truly one of the coolest things I’ve ever heard; I wish more people could meet someone like that.
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Old 05-14-2018, 10:56 PM
 
160 posts, read 333,739 times
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I'm sorry about your loss. There's really no substitute for a mother's love. I'm afraid of losing my mom. I was a brat to her for many years, and now I'm trying to make her proud and not argue with her.
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:22 AM
 
Location: NJ
983 posts, read 2,768,142 times
Reputation: 1902
(((HUGS))) to all of you who have lost your moms.
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