Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-23-2018, 01:55 AM
 
371 posts, read 285,625 times
Reputation: 642

Advertisements

yes you are over-reacting getting in a tizzy harboring bitterness over nothing. This isn't the 2nd grade.

I am sorry you got promiscuous with him, someone you consider a friend... then it didn't work out because he wasn't important enough to you. You call him "a fling". So sad.

Then you encouraged him to be promiscuous with someone else. How messed up is this?! Also no one is being rude to you for not allowing you to invade their personal space. No one owes you anything regarding intimacy just so your feelings won't be hurt. You seem awfully sexually aggressive but it's a message board so who knows the truth

The best move he made was NOT hugging you. Try apologizing to him for using him, and leading him into things he need not be involved in. Be a blessing to your friends instead. With friends like you, who needs enemies. None of us are perfect so chop this up to a lesson learned, let the grudge go against your friend go and just be polite. Be nice. It will likely blow over after a bit. Consider getting tested for STD's. There may be some people you'll need to notify. Good luck
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-23-2018, 07:06 AM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,404,239 times
Reputation: 2345
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItIsWritten. View Post
yes you are over-reacting getting in a tizzy harboring bitterness over nothing. This isn't the 2nd grade.

I am sorry you got promiscuous with him, someone you consider a friend... then it didn't work out because he wasn't important enough to you. You call him "a fling". So sad.

Then you encouraged him to be promiscuous with someone else. How messed up is this?! Also no one is being rude to you for not allowing you to invade their personal space. No one owes you anything regarding intimacy just so your feelings won't be hurt. You seem awfully sexually aggressive but it's a message board so who knows the truth

The best move he made was NOT hugging you. Try apologizing to him for using him, and leading him into things he need not be involved in. Be a blessing to your friends instead. With friends like you, who needs enemies. None of us are perfect so chop this up to a lesson learned, let the grudge go against your friend go and just be polite. Be nice. It will likely blow over after a bit. Consider getting tested for STD's. There may be some people you'll need to notify. Good luck
Where on Earth do you get I’m encouraging promiscuity and I am promiscuous. Also if my friend tells me “my friend is trying to get me to go on a date with a guy” and I say he should give him a shot, how in the hell is that encouraging promiscuity?!

Anyway I’m already over it if you would have taken the time to read through the thread you would have seen it. No need for an STD test took one a month ago and I have never had any STD or STI, thankfully, because I don’t sleep around.

Thanks for being so condescending.

Last edited by frimpter928; 05-23-2018 at 08:29 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2018, 10:08 AM
 
2,301 posts, read 1,870,734 times
Reputation: 2802
So Let it go. He doesn’t want to hug.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2018, 10:17 AM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,404,239 times
Reputation: 2345
Quote:
Originally Posted by jayden22 View Post
So Let it go. He doesn’t want to hug.
I did. My previous post was in response to the poster making a separate claim about me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2018, 10:23 AM
 
4,633 posts, read 3,430,201 times
Reputation: 6322
Quote:
Originally Posted by frimpter928 View Post
Where on Earth do you get I’m encouraging promiscuity and I am promiscuous. Also if my friend tells me “my friend is trying to get me to go on a date with a guy” and I say he should give him a shot, how in the hell is that encouraging promiscuity?!

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. You're "sexually aggressive" because you were hurt that a friend refused your hug? Just...wow.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2018, 02:53 PM
 
371 posts, read 285,625 times
Reputation: 642
Quote:
Originally Posted by treemoni View Post
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. You're "sexually aggressive" because you were hurt that a friend refused your hug? Just...wow.
He was hurt?
His exact words were, "I was pissed"

He felt he was OWED.

He then told his friend to "never do that again"


He called his declining him "a stunt"


He mentioned this FRIEND even needs to apologize to HIM for declining him.


How sick and twisted is this


http://www.city-data.com/forum/51959371-post1.html

NO means NO.

In this case it was done with a partial smile and an offer to hang out afterwards.

Very graciously done in love


No reason to badger someone again for a hug after being lovingly told no

Absolutely No reason to get pissed off

Then tell him what he did by declining your hug was BOGUS
It was not BOGUS, it is his right to say no!

No matter how many times hugs are demanded, we cannot give in due to blackmail so someone won't get pissed and order us to never assert our rights again to decline hugs repeatedly or label our NO as BOGUS

No means NO. He was quite clear and very loving when he gave his no

Do not keep pushing your body, your will, onto another person when they say no
Their NO is NOT BOGUS.
What is BOGUS IS the OP's pissed off attitude & demand of his friend "they never do that again"

Our bodies belong to us, no one else no matter how much they demand it

THE OP is BEING SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE, shame on him.

He needs to apologize to this "friend".

This same so called friend he used his body as a rag doll for one of his flings....
so now suddenly feels owns his friends body.... so much he demands repeatedly he hug him, or experience his wrath of being pissed and call his declining him, his no, BOGUS. As if saying no nicely is some sort of offense

Sorry but he did not want to press his body against yours.

This is of a depraved minded to feel this is OWED to them.


Shame on you for supporting this behavior by twisting my post AND the OP's post. Just....Wow is right

Last edited by ItIsWritten.; 05-24-2018 at 03:34 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2018, 03:04 PM
 
371 posts, read 285,625 times
Reputation: 642
Cut & Pasted. http://www.city-data.com/forum/51959371-post1.html

Fast forward and we get to his place. He's about to get out of the cab and I put my arms out to hug him and to tell him to have a good trip (and we always hug when we say goodbye). He flat out moves out of the cab looking at me with my arms open to hug, avoiding the hug and nothing, not handshake or anything. He said he would let me know when he gets back and we can hang out. Before he closed the door I asked if he seriously wasn't going to give me a hug as I sat there with my arms open looking like an idiot. He said "No," closed the cab door and walked away (and I thought I saw him smiling as he walked away).

I was pissed. I felt it was rude and disrespectful. So 5 minutes later I sent him a text saying that all I wanted to do was give him a hug and wish him a good trip. That what he did was bogus. He responded with a emoticon that was a sort of smile.

I then responded to him that I was being serious and I didn't appreciate it. I again reiterated how wrong it was and told him to not ever do that again.

The next time I see him, since he didn't apologize or say anything I want to bring it up saying that was very rude and to not pull that stunt again.

Last edited by ItIsWritten.; 05-24-2018 at 03:32 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2018, 03:15 PM
 
4,633 posts, read 3,430,201 times
Reputation: 6322
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItIsWritten. View Post
He was hurt?
His exact words were, "I was pissed"
He then told his friend to "never do that again"

http://www.city-data.com/forum/51959371-post1.html

NO means NO.

In this case it was done with a partial smile and an offer to hang out afterwards.

Very graciously done in love

From my perspective, it was hurt. Many times people express anger when they're really hurt. And there was nothing loving about what his friend did. He and this friend had embraced many times in the past. This friend knew it was important to him and he withheld his affection to punish and control him. That's the opposite of love. To me anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2018, 03:39 PM
 
371 posts, read 285,625 times
Reputation: 642
Quote:
Originally Posted by treemoni View Post
From my perspective, it was hurt. Many times people express anger when they're really hurt. And there was nothing loving about what his friend did. He and this friend had embraced many times in the past. This friend knew it was important to him and he withheld his affection to punish and control him. That's the opposite of love. To me anyway.
This is your false accusation right here. http://www.city-data.com/forum/51978666-post45.html


No one orders someone to hug them. No one calls their NO BOGUS
No one keeps forcing themselves on another
No one calls their NO a STUNT.
No one demands someone never decline their advances to embrace after hearing no (that is a rapist mentality)
NO MEANS NO

No one justifies this sick and twisted sexual aggression
Even against someone who was loving and kind to them still wanting to hang out
Then feels their victim OWES THEM an apology




I wouldn't want to be alone with you. This sexually aggressive behavior you're promoting should not be considered LOVE to you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2018, 07:16 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,404,239 times
Reputation: 2345
Good lord. I feel like someone has anger issues here. Perhaps they weren’t hugged enough as a child haha.

Anyway my friend and I are fine. We were chatting bout some other stuff yesterday in regards to music for his trip and was asking me some advice on places to see where he’s going. We’re fine. I’m over it. I just won’t hug him anymore. Problem solved.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top