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Ok, she has a couple of accomplishments from the last 2 years. Leaving a bad home situation and not getting pregnant. She still has some significant issues to address. I think she has a good attitude and means well, but she's run into a lot of problems, some of which are self-inflicted.
Well, yeah, that's what happens when you aren't raised by people with your best interests at heart.
She has to teach herself everything she was supposed to learn as a kid about how to get along in the world. It helps if people can mean well and offer her that help instead of derision.
Well, yeah, that's what happens when you aren't raised by people with your best interests at heart.
She has to teach herself everything she was supposed to learn as a kid about how to get along in the world. It helps if people can mean well and offer her that help instead of derision.
Exactly.
I give Daisy a lot of credit for seeing that there is more to be had and wanting to achieve. That's huge. It sure beats falling into the same cycle of poverty, abuse and addiction that she came from.
Well, yeah, that's what happens when you aren't raised by people with your best interests at heart.
She has to teach herself everything she was supposed to learn as a kid about how to get along in the world. It helps if people can mean well and offer her that help instead of derision.
I went back and read some of your posts and I see you are pretty consistent in your understanding of people and situations.
What you said here, this was me.
As I moved up in the economic world, I lagged in the social world and very few people were able to guide me in this area. Almost all of them were from City-data. The rest were from books they told me to read and any related books I found on my own.
Sorry to make this thread about me but I just wanted to share how BirdieBelle gives good advice with heart. This is the second time I have praised her posts in just one morning.
Well, yeah, that's what happens when you aren't raised by people with your best interests at heart.
She has to teach herself everything she was supposed to learn as a kid about how to get along in the world. It helps if people can mean well and offer her that help instead of derision.
thanks Birdie! I always read all your posts and you always give great advice. i think I have done a good job so far. I feel like i have changed. there are things I'm doing now that I thought i would never do. Sometimes I still feel really shocked that I actually moved and live by myself. It was so crazy to me at first. Yeah there are times before where I freaked out, so many times I just wanted to cry and go home although there isnt any place to go... it still happens sometimes. I just try not to think about what happened. i try not to think about my family since theres been no contact. It's just all really crazy. But I know i have changed and thank you for seeing that. really, it means a lot to me
Daisy, I haven't read all of your threads so I may be off-base on some stuff.
College: While a community college sounds like a good idea, I think you should consider applying to a 4 year state college. There are literally thousands of different grants that you can apply for. Grants are not loans; there's nothing to pay back. It's possible that you could go to a 4 year state college tuition free and live in the dorms for free. I know of some people that not only had their tuition and room & board completely paid for with grants, they also received a monthly check for living expenses. These were people that grew up in poverty, quit high school, got a GED, and applied for grants.
Financial Aid: With your current plan to have your FWB pay for the 1st semester of community college, this could possibly hurt your chances of receiving financial aid in the future.
Your FWB: As others have said, don't rely on this person for anything. He could be gone tomorrow.
Your trip to Paris: I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but I wouldn't recommend going on that trip. It sounds too good to be true. Your FWB could be a human trafficker! He may be looking to sell you to some perverted rich guy in France. Or worse. Ever see Hostel? I'm probably freaking you out but these are things to consider.
Your job: You're in a difficult situation. I don't really have any advice other than to say I think you should just do whatever is necessary so you don't get fired.
He might not be a human trafficker but I think that she should cancel or at least postpone the Paris trip.
College isn't like high school where it's okay to miss some classes or a couple of days and it would still be possible to make up missing work. There is a lot more work for classes (especially if you want to go full time). There are readings that you have to do for class, perhaps even weekly assignments. Weekly quizzes may be given for some classes. There might be a limit to the number of absences from a class before it starts to affect your grades- too many and it may lower your grade. Plus, if you do get into college, there is going to be a period of adjustment as you deal with balancing your work and academic schedule. If you haven't been in school for a while, it can seem overwhelming. This trip is planned for a time when you need to be focused on your transition back to a student. Do you really want to be lugging your textbooks around with you in Paris because you have assignments due?
He might not be a human trafficker but I think that she should cancel or at least postpone the Paris trip.
College isn't like high school where it's okay to miss some classes or a couple of days and it would still be possible to make up missing work. There is a lot more work for classes (especially if you want to go full time). There are readings that you have to do for class, perhaps even weekly assignments. Weekly quizzes may be given for some classes. There might be a limit to the number of absences from a class before it starts to affect your grades- too many and it may lower your grade. Plus, if you do get into college, there is going to be a period of adjustment as you deal with balancing your work and academic schedule. If you haven't been in school for a while, it can seem overwhelming. This trip is planned for a time when you need to be focused on your transition back to a student. Do you really want to be lugging your textbooks around with you in Paris because you have assignments due?
The older, wiser and more realistic crowd realizes this trip is more likely bait to keep the kid hooked. It shall not materialize. The FWB is likely using the OP's naive, unsophisticated and desperate situation to his own advantage. Promising a trip six mos in advance was slick.
OP, keep focused on CC, it's what you need to elevate yourself. You're going this week to the admissions office I hope?
He might not be a human trafficker but I think that she should cancel or at least postpone the Paris trip.
College isn't like high school where it's okay to miss some classes or a couple of days and it would still be possible to make up missing work. There is a lot more work for classes (especially if you want to go full time). There are readings that you have to do for class, perhaps even weekly assignments. Weekly quizzes may be given for some classes. There might be a limit to the number of absences from a class before it starts to affect your grades- too many and it may lower your grade. Plus, if you do get into college, there is going to be a period of adjustment as you deal with balancing your work and academic schedule. If you haven't been in school for a while, it can seem overwhelming. This trip is planned for a time when you need to be focused on your transition back to a student. Do you really want to be lugging your textbooks around with you in Paris because you have assignments due?
Yes I understand that but I might not get to go again atleast not for a loooong time.
The older, wiser and more realistic crowd realizes this trip is more likely bait to keep the kid hooked. It shall not materialize. The FWB is likely using the OP's naive, unsophisticated and desperate situation to his own advantage. Promising a trip six mos in advance was slick.
OP, keep focused on CC, it's what you need to elevate yourself. You're going this week to the admissions office I hope?
Who is this crowd? He doesn't need to do this to 'hook' her. She is happy with the way things are and was before Paris ever came up.
Yes I go this week. And no he’s not lying. He book our Airbnb and bought the tickets already. Why would he do that if we weren’t going. Really
That you ask "why would a fella DO that" shows how naive you are to the ways of the world and if we on a forum can sense your naivete you can bet a man on the make can and some will use that to their advantage.
Folks (esp men looking for NSA) will lie to get things they want; a man you met on a dating app who wants NSA, to keep you willing may make false promises and this is hardly a rare, unheard of thing.
Your lack of familiarity with a lot of things makes you an easy mark for liars.
Guys who have jobs that are so important that the job requires international travel are a tad uncommon and more uncommon in small town NC. Had I met a guy in NC on a dating app who told me he must fly to Paris in 6mo for work I'd be very skeptical.
But back to the IMPORTANT thing which isn't FWB it's CC and I am glad you said you're going and report back how it goes and don't be dissuaded from going.
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 06-04-2018 at 03:03 PM..
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and don't be dissuaded from going.