Growing Wiser With Age Without Becoming Stagnate/Set In One's Ways? (children, personality)

[Cida]

I don't notice that so much, but I suggest that if you keep encountering it, you should try to inquire a little about the person's background, and then sneak off and start a little log for yourself, to see if there's a pattern.

I think it would be interesting if you track things like: How much have they moved around, or have they always lived in the same town? Do they read books much? Do they have an interest in culture (e.g. museums)? Have they been to foreign countries? How much education do they have? Are they religious? Do they read an actual newspaper? Do they get their news from respected sources (like PBS) or from opinionators? If you ask them WHY, can they answer reasonably?

I suspect the best way to avoid it is to be a person who is broadly curious. That would include tiny things in life, like trying a new food, or exploring a new neighborhood. It would include reading an article about a subject that doesn't seem to interest you. It would include asking a lot of questions, without worrying that maybe you sound ignorant. And it would include being upfront about being wrong.

[ClaraC]

Hmm. The Dunning Kruger effect is just people of low IQ who mistakenly believing they're smarter than average.

I'm not sure what you're seeing with old people, but in my observation they often don't want to change the way they do things because it's too hard to keep changing your processes. For example, if they want to write grocery lists on a piece of paper on their desk, rather than do them on their phone even though that way is "better", I understand it.

I agree with the posters who say they've seen people of all ages bull headedly insist they're right when they're not, over and over.

[jimmy12345678]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

Hmm. The Dunning Kruger effect is just people of low IQ who mistakenly believing they're smarter than average.

I'm not sure what you're seeing with old people, but in my observation they often don't want to change the way they do things because it's too hard to keep changing your processes. For example, if they want to write grocery lists on a piece of paper on their desk, rather than do them on their phone even though that way is "better", I understand it.

I agree with the posters who say they've seen people of all ages bull headedly insist they're right when they're not, over and over.

I'm more speaking to people that are set in their beliefs/way of thinking than merely in their process of doing things. I'm not speaking about people who prefer paying bills by mail vs. online, more towards people who get so much "experience" that they think they can just stop taking in new information because they think they've got it all figured out, and are too sure of themselves and their way of seeing things that it's a detriment, not a benefit.

A great example I can site, because I see and here it all the time, is people complaining that "things today are so much more expensive than in the days of yore." First of all, with inflation factored in, things are very similar in price compared to the "old days", gasoline is a great example.

How many times have you heard an old person say "I remember when gas only cost 25 cents a gallon!" That's very true, but at that time the minimum was was probably around $2 or $3 an hour, so it's not like people were making the wages of today and just goods were cheaper, it's all relative to wages and inflation. They either can't, or don't want, to see and admit that and merely want to whine and complain that "things cost too much!"

Same can be said with the cost of real estate, vehicles, cigarettes, alcohol, or anything else you want to cite.

[Sassygirl18]

I was actually more of a know-it-all when I was young than I am now. I am more able to see they gray areas of an issue now that I am older and wiser than when I was young and thought more in black and white terms.

This is not to say there aren't plenty of older people who are closed minded. I just don't see it as an age-specific issue. It's more of an issue with people in general.

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by Sassygirl18

I was actually more of a know-it-all when I was young than I am now. I am more able to see they gray areas of an issue now that I am older and wiser than when I was young and thought more in black and white terms.

This is not to say there aren't plenty of older people who are closed minded. I just don't see it as an age-specific issue. It's more of an issue with people in general.

Me too. Exactly.

I'm much more open to hearing and acknowledging someone else's perspective, and their truth, even if it's very different from mine, than I was in my youth.

[jelenap]

I feel that the more you know it the more you understand how little you actually know. It’s like until you climb on top of the mountain you won’t see the vast land behind it. But some people just either don’t bothe climbing or are fine on their one mountain and just stop caring there is anything else.

Unfortunately, my mom is just like that. She does not like anything new, watches only same type of TV series, is not really interested in anything, especially if it does not confirm her opinion. And my dad is the opposite. Always reading something, trying new technology etc. He’s 76 years old, still works and maintains a website at work. But, looking back, they were like that all the time.

OP, based on your post I see you have no risk to become such person. Just continue to keep your mind open, constantly learn new things and you will be fine. I find it’s no use trying to change the other people. Just make sure to surround yourself with equally openminded individuals and let others be.

Best of luck to you!

[Harry88]

Originally Posted by jimmy12345678

This is just a phenomena I've noticed before in my personal life.



My question, why are people susceptible to this and what's the best way to avoid falling into this pattern? And have you dealt with similar people in your life?

I'm in my mid 40's, and i've found working and associating with younger people helps me to see different perspectives. This behavior is normal, people get used to the same mode, the same friends, the same peers, the same foods, the same tv shows, the same music. We become more conservative with age, but being aware of that, you can do something about it.

[LordSquidworth]

Originally Posted by jimmy12345678

This is just a phenomena I've noticed before in my personal life.

It seems like lots of old people reach a certain point where they almost believe that they already know everything, are shut off to any and all new information, and become set in one's ways and viewpoints without being willing to consider any other point of view.

Personally, I never want to be like that. I want to grow wiser with age and continue to learn each and every day, but never become complacent in my supposed "wisdom" and think that I can never learn anything else, or be willing to hear out new viewpoints and information on any given subject.

Can't tell you how many older adults and elderly people I've dealt with in my life that seem to be struck with the "Dunning-Kruger effect" by making lots of declarative states like "Oh, it HAS to be this" and if they turn out to be wrong, they make the same mistake again and say "Oh, well now it HAS to be this"

They never seem to learn from their mistakes, are unquestioning of their wisdom and sure of their own brilliance to the point of detriment to themselves. I'll admit I've suffered from it as well when I was younger, now I'm hesitant to make that mistake again, as it's come back to bite me one too many times.

I also don't want to be like that. As an auto mechanic, I've had lots of people ask me "What do you think is wrong with my car" and met lots of older mechanics who say "It's X I know it is", but I always give the answer of "I could be X, Y or Z, I don't know until I look at it and diagnose it properly" I'd rather have a for sure answer instead of blowing smoke up someone's butt by making them "think" I know the solution to their problem. I've found that the majority of people would rather here a good sounding BS answer than be told "I don't know" or "I've got to look into that before I can tell you for sure."

My question, why are people susceptible to this and what's the best way to avoid falling into this pattern? And have you dealt with similar people in your life?

Because they have insecurities and thinking they know all is a way to protect themselves.

Because they haven't been challenged to think critically.

I've spent a lot of time arguing politics from both sides depending on whomever I'm talking to. I argue just for the sake of arguing. On the rare instance where I'm bested, it's not uncommon for that to slightly shape my views in a different way.

In business I'm the boss that knows he doesn't know anything. That's why I hire people that know more than I do.

[Sassybluesy]

Originally Posted by jimmy12345678

I'll concede that it's not specific to any age range.

But I know that I've personally talked to people both on the internet and IRL that have basically had the implicit attitude of "You think you know everything, you don't know crap kid, wait until you're my age and you actually DO know everything" As an older person, I think some of that is that we've been around long enough, that we've seen patterns that repeat. We have a general idea of child development, we remember (at least some of us do) what it was like to be young, and experience the dopiness that comes with being young, and know that most likely, said people will out grow their dopiness...because most people do. We see the long view in our rear view mirror.

Same goes with people who've told me "You've got a lot to learn kid." While I know that's very true, most of the people who've told me that have said so because I didn't share their viewpoint. Just because we've reached different conclusions on the same subject doesn't make either of us "wrong".

I'd say the attitude of thinking they know everything while not knowing squat is much more prevalent in younger people, but the attitude of being "sure" that they know everything is much more prevalent in older people.

Bottom line, no matter what your age is, we've all got lots to learn and lots of new information to take in. Once you close yourself off to that, stop growing, and become assured of your own brilliance, you are done.

I think LOTS of us are happy to learn knew stuff. Many of us enjoy learning, as we get older. BUT maybe we don't necessarily enjoy learning the same stuff that younger people do.


For example, it always seems that younger folks catch on to new technology faster than older people. I will admit I fall into that camp. A couple of weeks ago, I had to drive out to my stepson's place. I'd only been out there a couple of times, so I had to look up the directions.


My granddaughter asks why I didn't just use the GPS on my smart phone. LOL Heck, I thought it was neat that I could get driving directions off the internet. LOL


My dad, back in the day, used to have my son (who was in grade school) set the VCR for him. LOL


The fact that we have 2 remote controls for our TV exasperates me at times.

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by Sassygirl18

I was actually more of a know-it-all when I was young than I am now. I am more able to see they gray areas of an issue now that I am older and wiser than when I was young and thought more in black and white terms.

This is not to say there aren't plenty of older people who are closed minded. I just don't see it as an age-specific issue. It's more of an issue with people in general.

Yes, I'm like this. I really wouldn't have liked my younger self for that very reason.

As far as the original question is concerned, it's kind of an act of will to try new things. It is too easy to get into a rut and watch the same shows, read the same books, and take the same vacation year after year.

My wife and I recently vacationed in South Africa. Flew into Duban, rented a car, drove to our safari lodge, then flew to Cape Town, where we again rented a car and toured around. Wonderful two-week vacation. Experienced all kinds of new things, from attending church at the local cathedral (If you want a real cultural barometer, visit a church while you're traveling) to trying new foods and striking up all kinds of conversations with local people.

Upon our return, I had dinner with my brother and his wife. He's two years older than me (57), college educated, and would never fit my definition of a close-minded person. Yet when I mentioned how much fun we had on our trip and encouraged my brother and his wife to do something similar, he said, "Yeah. Not for me. I'm not interested in traveling outside the country."

My brother literally thought that we traveled through areas where the natives had bones in their noses, cooked missionaries in a big pot over an open flame, and God knows what else. Never mind that South Africa is a wonderful, modern country. Instead, he cannot wrap his mind around going there. Europe? Nope. He might deign to visit Canada. Instead, he just prefers to schlep it back and forth to the same beach condo year after year. You could have knocked me over with a feather. He literally thought we were driving through villages with thach huts where the natives chukked spears at our rental car.

Back to the original questions. I think the important thing is to always cultivate curiosity. Never simply accept the conventional wisdom. Never be content with doing the same thing over and over again. The mind atrophies otherwise.

Be a reader. By that, I don't mean best sellers. Read something that challenges you. One of the best things I ever did was to try and slog my way through the Modern Library's Top 100 novels list. I've crossed about 65 off my list. Some I thought weren't worthy of the acclaim. Some were absolutely mindblowing. But most are books I would have never plucked off a shelf otherwise. And all were far more rewarding than most of what's on the bestseller list.

Attend a concert that you normally wouldn't. Mind you, I'm not going to watch metal, but we'll listen to a lot of other stuff because, hey, you never know. Buy a ticket to your local symphony, opera, and music festival. Talk to someone about their hobby and really listen. Go to an art show and talk to the artists. Go to museums and actually pay attention. If you're ever curious about something, there's Wikipedia for you.

Travel. Travel completely changes your perspective on things. Hell, Groupon alone has incredibly affordable vacations to all kinds of places that aren't tourist magnets in places such as Cancun. Spin the spinner. Take a shot. Our next vacation is likely going to be Bhutan.

In other words, comfort and routine are the mind killers.