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I never thought this was really that age dependent. I’ve seen something similar most of my life...people seem to simply stop learning at some point in their lives. It’s like, OK, I know all I need to know now to live my life and picking up new things seems to stop. I’m 70 but recall seeing this over the decades in people of all ages. Learning is something we should do life long.
There’s a corollary to this that I find particularly irksome and that is that many people simply cannot admit they’re wrong about something. Being wrong is not shameful, we are ignorant of incredible amounts of stuff. It’s uncomfortable to be wrong, to have our ignorance revealed but think of it this way. Every single time we are wrong, we learn something new. We should constantly challenge what we think we know.
Because as you get older and life gets more routine, every day is the same, so what you know and where you are become very comfortable, and no one wants to leave their comfort zone.
It takes a lot of mental energy to focus on learning something new, which is why older people just assume and speculate your car has this problem instead of actually doing the WORK to diagnose it.
I'm not even old (40 years old), yet I'm already feeling the same thing. Not about everything in life, but about some things.
Well, old age isn't for sissies. The older you get, the more you have to face. And surviving to old age takes talent and luck. I think it's human nature to go with what works, so if you have held certain opinions and attitudes for 50 or 60 years, whether they have worked for you or not, you are likely to think they have, so it's not likely you will change. My mother once said to me that people think older people get mellower or wiser, but older people just become more like themselves. I think that is true. I have not known anyone in my life who changed in any significant way as they aged. Experience is the best teacher, but it doesn't teach everyone.
Personally, I never want to be like that. I want to grow wiser with age and continue to learn each and every day, but never become complacent in my supposed "wisdom" and think that I can never learn anything else, or be willing to hear out new viewpoints and information on any given subject.
I agree. I cannot imagine being the same person I was 10 years ago, and I never fully accept the "people don't change" thing, even though I've said it plenty of times myself. It seems like most just won't put forth the effort required to change. Change is scary and may require discomfort. People don't like to be made uncomfortable. There are so many things to learn. I enjoy getting older.
People really hate to be wrong about stuff and we really shouldn’t be. After all, every time we’re proven wrong about something, we learn something new.
Age doesn't make you wiser. Learning as much as you can, exposing yourself to as much as you can, experiencing as much as you can, and getting to know as many people as you can from as many different walks of life as you can makes you more informed about the world beyond yourself.
Wisdom comes from knowing how to apply all of that knowledge and experience to your own life in the form of behaviors and attitudes and to what you contribute to your environment. That can happen at any age or not happen at all. To be honest, I rarely meet anyone I'd actually categorize as wise outside of myself (yes, I just said that). Just people who have been around a long time, which means nothing.
Many people become set in their ways as they age because, quite frankly, they're gonna die soon anyway and underneath it all, don't really give a $hit anymore about learning or growing because they already have what they have and have lived the life that they've lived.
Too many people only bother to enrich themselves or broaden their horizons out of necessity or to achieve a specific goal. Once those necessities are met and those goals are fulfilled, there's no further motivation to keep going. So they just stop at wherever they are. That's an oversimplification. There are psychological and neurological components but whatever.
Wanna avoid being like that? Care about being better for being better's sake and don't let that light go out. Chase wisdom and openness as their own rewards. You're already off to a good start.
Side note, about the mechanic thing, don't confuse the issue of people wanting an answer to their problems with people wanting the right answer to their problems. They come from different places.
Some people just want to be reassured that their issues can be solved. Confident definitive answers make them feel better than uncertainty even if said uncertainty is more accurate and honest. That applies equally to interpersonal problems. That's why so many people buy the uninformed bull some users spout on here. It's instant gratification that makes them feel better.
I'm 60, don't feel old at all but sometimes when it comes to something I don't want/need to learn, I joke and say "my brain is full." My choice. I'm still working and learning new things every day, but what I want to learn about may not be the same thing my children or grandchildren want to know.
And yes, I do feel wiser in many areas; I have 60 years of experiences to draw from. Not everything though. I'm humble enough to know that I don't need to know everything. And I'm wise enough to know I can google or youtube just about anything I want to learn about.
Example, I am hoping I never have to learn how to change a tire, it's on my anti-bucket list.
It just comes in different flavors with different age groups, maybe.
Seriously as a Mother of two teenagers, I get to experience every single day, young people not listening to me and being pretty sure they know everything and I don't know nothin' 'bout nothin'.
Sometimes I think I know stuff. And it's often in the spirit of, "Well I think I understand this pretty well. And maybe I've learned from making mistakes in my own past, so if I tell you what I experienced, and what it taught me, then maybe you can just skip the hot stove touching part and take the lesson as a freebie. You know, if you want to."
But I learn more things all the time. And I'm certainly willing to be wrong. There have been times I've gotten to catch myself and check myself, when my ego got too big about something I thought I knew, the universe has a way of throwing experiences at me in those times that defy the expertise I believe I've got. Like I pride myself on having a good intuition about people, right? Being able to "read" people, read between the lines, emotional intelligence, stuff like that. Then in short succession, a couple or more of people I know act in ways I did not think were in their nature, defy what I thought I knew of them. And I'm like, "OK, universe, you're trying to tell me not to assume I know everything about people. Thanks for the reminder to be humble in this area. I'll try and keep it in mind."
I feel that if one is going to stop learning, and stop accepting new information, then one may as well be dead, though.
It is more often my experience to find people under the age of 27/28ish to be extremely rigid in what the facts are and unwilling to hear input than with older people. The more (good and bad) experiences you have, the more you learn. Naturally there are closed minds of every age, however.
Hmmm... I don’t think my basic personality has changed that much pretty much ever. Now the main difference is I really don’t care, like I just am myself all of the time because I can be. My income isn’t dependent on pleasing anyone or acting any certain way so it’s very liberating, I just am always myself. But I still learn constantly even if my personality isn’t changing. I always strive to learn new skills and new approaches and new knowledge every day and every week. I’m not set in my ways in that if I can ever find a better way to achieve my goals I’ll do it, and I tinker with my daily routine often. It gets stale otherwise.
That being said I can’t see how I would change “who I am” in 10, 20, 30 years. I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or what I think now, and I won’t care then. Life lived on anyone else’s terms is no life at all. Life lived caring what random people think is silly. That will never change and it’s wisdom young people should learn. I always say exactly what I’m thinking and don’t hesitate to engage people if they’re being unfair or dishonest. So yes I’m set in my ways when it comes to some things. I live by one simple rule which is nobody messes with me, no matter who they are, take zero crap from anyone whether it’s a friend or parent or GF or anyone. When you behave that way you’ll always get the respect you deserve because you demand and command it.
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