Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes. I truly think she has some sort of psychological issue. Serious mental illness runs down my mom's side of the family. My mom has been bipolar her entire life (diagnose with bipolar disorder 1 30 years ago - the most serious form of it). My brother is schizophrenic and 100 percent disabled by it. My mom's mother as well as one of her sisters were schizophrenic to the point of having to have a guardian assigned.
Coupled with her dad, who I have felt for decades has a personality disorder at the very least, I am almost certain that my daughter needs help. She probably needs some form of medication. She has even admitted that "you're right, I probably DO need help, but I'll decide if and when I get it." So there you have it.
Apparently things aren't bad enough yet in her life to force her to get that help.
Sounds like she very well may. I think I read somewhere that people with bi-polar can really push people away and eventually end up driving lots of people permanently out of their lives due to this. Hopefully, she will reach out for some help soon especially since she has four kids depending on her.
Well it sounds to me like you are taking the high road and handling it with tremendous wisdom, maturity, and compassion. She's not allowing you to actively be compassionate with her, but while she has deeply hurt and alienated you, you still hold a lot of compassion, care, and concern for her well being.
Sounds like she very well may. I think I read somewhere that people with bi-polar can really push people away and eventually end up driving lots of people permanently out of their lives due to this. Hopefully, she will reach out for some help soon especially since she has four kids depending on her.
Well it sounds to me like you are taking the high road and handling it with tremendous wisdom, maturity, and compassion. She's not allowing you to actively be compassionate with her, but while she has deeply hurt and alienated you, you still hold a lot of compassion, care, and concern for her well being.
I know my mom is on and off meds (anti-depressants), while also ping-ponging between adamant "I'm JUST FINE," and "nobody loves me." They aren't whip-saw swings, and I wouldn't say she's bi-polar, but it's still not a good sign.
I don't think she's in any danger. She has a long history of seeking help for herself (which BTW she instilled in me, something I'll be forever grateful for...she was so very strong in so many ways when I was a kid, and doing it all having ZERO positive influences in her own upbringing). But she's also susceptible to snake oil salesmen and has a few times let 'church people' and MLM nonsense overtake her identity and driven a rift between us (and my sibs).
and has a few times let 'church people' .....overtake her identity and driven a rift between us (and my sibs).
Ahhh...and this may be why she dislikes some of your choices like living in Cali, your friends she can't relate to, alternative work hours, political leanings, etc. If she is more traditional-religious in her beliefs, sounds like she could be uncomfortable or disapproving with your way of living which veers from her own.
My own mother is extremely intolerant and close-minded about others' spiritual beliefs that differ from her own. In this regard, she can be like a child and actually can get angry if you talk about something that differs from what she believes. She freely and openly talks about her beliefs and political stances, but will literally throw a fit if others dare speak about their own that may differ from hers. Very very childish and immature behavior and she is now in her seventies.
Ahhh...and this may be why she dislikes some of your choices like living in Cali, your friends she can't relate to, alternative work hours, political leanings, etc. If she is more traditional-religious in her beliefs, sounds like she could be uncomfortable or disapproving with your way of living which veers from her own.
.
I know, it's HORRIBLE that I go to work in the morning, come home in the evening, kiss my wife and kids and sit out by the pool. Then maybe go to the beach. Help a neighbor with his trash bins. Our friends gather around pizza and talk about esoteric things like our kids, the Saturday we had at the beach, traffic, what's at the movies. And so on. It's all in her head.
I know, it's HORRIBLE that I go to work in the morning, come home in the evening, kiss my wife and kids and sit out by the pool. Then maybe go to the beach. Help a neighbor with his trash bins. Our friends gather around pizza and talk about esoteric things like our kids, the Saturday we had at the beach, traffic, what's at the movies. And so on. It's all in her head.
Weird. People can be so complex. You never know what is lurking in their head to make them respond to you in a certain way. When you are dealing with more conscious people, it can be a huge relief because they know themselves better and therefore there is a greater chance that honest, genuine, meaningful interactions can take place. It's tough with people who have not done much serious inner work on themselves because all kinds of creepy crawlies can be lurking around in their psyches.
Your mom could have some resentment that you are living such a nice life, and she is currently not so happy in her own life. She could resent difficulties she had raising you and now sees that you have it so good. She could dislike your wife or be jealous of her. She could resent that she doesn't see you much. These are just hypothetical examples but lots of things can lurk in someone that can influence how they treat others.
This is why relationships can be challenging especially when you are dealing with people who are not too conscious or aware of the dark shadowy things going on inside of them.
I work with one right now. On my team, there are six of us-one of which is toxic. How do I know this. When the toxic person is in the room, she opens her mouth and almost the whole team responds and talks foolishly. However, when we work overtime and she is not there, the team gets more work done and we are more civil.
Yesterday, she was there and our room was like an episode of "the view." Just chatter and non sense. I went up to my supervisor and asked her if I can be moved. So on monday, I may relocate to another room.
I try not to judge because there are reasons why they are toxic. With that said, I don't want them to influence my life.
Some years ago, I worked part time for an automobile leasing company. It was a "Mom and Pop" business (well, the Pop owned it; Mom was not in the picture) and the owner's sons also worked there. The youngest son was an ex-cop, retired after six years on the police department after a disability injury, and he was still quite young (30s). Anyway, this youngest son had an ego the size of a 747; he would be cordial to customers, but very condescending to workers. Even his dad and his brothers yelled at him for his behavior! One day he and another worker exchanged words in the office. This got back to his dad, who read him the riot act (again!) and he never apologized for his attitude. Nobody liked this guy!
The worst part is, he would openly carry a revolver, tucked in his belt, around the office (as I said, he was an ex-cop) and he never realized that it was intimidating. Several of us told him: You're not a cop anymore, leave the damn gun at home! At one point, he threatened to lock me up for some bull****. I just laughed at him! He was very toxic. Dad finally got rid of him, and blood pressures no doubt dropped.
Some years ago, I worked part time for an automobile leasing company. It was a "Mom and Pop" business (well, the Pop owned it; Mom was not in the picture) and the owner's sons also worked there. The youngest son was an ex-cop, retired after six years on the police department after a disability injury, and he was still quite young (30s). Anyway, this youngest son had an ego the size of a 747; he would be cordial to customers, but very condescending to workers. Even his dad and his brothers yelled at him for his behavior! One day he and another worker exchanged words in the office. This got back to his dad, who read him the riot act (again!) and he never apologized for his attitude. Nobody liked this guy!
The worst part is, he would openly carry a revolver, tucked in his belt, around the office (as I said, he was an ex-cop) and he never realized that it was intimidating. Several of us told him: You're not a cop anymore, leave the damn gun at home! At one point, he threatened to lock me up for some bull****. I just laughed at him! He was very toxic. Dad finally got rid of him, and blood pressures no doubt dropped.
He was beyond just toxic and temperamental. From your post he sounds crazy and potentially dangerous, too. You must be glad to be out of there for several years now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You must be glad to be out of there for several years now. 
