My parents insist that I go on vacation with them every year, but I do not want to. (girlfriend, member)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Probably the best way would be to incorporate a lot of appreciation.
Tell them: Mom & Dad, I love the idea of a family vacation with you and I enjoy the time we spend together, but those other relatives just aren't as much fun as you are. My vacation time is limited, and I really don't want to keep re-hashing the same thing with people I'm not crazy about. So let's experiment with doing something different!
Well they keep asking me and asking me to come even though I keep telling them I have a new job, and the boss says I cannot take any vacation right now.
The concept of not being able to go on vacation is foreign to them. They just do not understand the concept and it keeps going right over their heads. So how do I teach this concept to them and have them actually get it. I am not sure if they are just delusional or in denial about me not being able to go, I have to really hammer this home to them.
I feel that if they still keep asking me and do not take no for an answer, that I am going have to get really verbally abusive and intimidating towards them, cause I don't know how else to deal with people who do not understand the concept of no.
The concept of not being able to go on vacation is foreign to them. They just do not understand the concept and it keeps going right over their heads. So how do I teach this concept to them and have them actually get it. I am not sure if they are just delusional or in denial about me not being able to go, I have to really hammer this home to them.
I feel that if they still keep asking me and do not take no for an answer, that I am going have to get really verbally abusive and intimidating towards them....
There's no need for that. You just keep telling them, calmly but very firmly, that you WILL NOT be going on vacation with them this year because you cannot get the time off from work. It's not like they can kidnap you to force you on the plane.
(All this drama is also a good reason to start looking for a place of your own, too. Living on your own will help your parents see you as an actual adult and not just an overgrown kid.)
There's no need for that. You just keep telling them, calmly but very firmly, that you WILL NOT be going on vacation with them this year because you cannot get the time off from work. It's not like they can kidnap you to force you on the plane.
(All this drama is also a good reason to start looking for a place of your own, too. Living on your own will help your parents see you as an actual adult and not just an overgrown kid.)
How is it they don't get the concept of not being able to take time off?
Did your father not understand this? Surely he came upon this sometime through the years...no new employee gets immediate time off.
Very good advice....are you ready to be out on your own? That will definitely help change their view from our little boy to our son, the adult.
Well they keep asking me and asking me to come even though I keep telling them I have a new job, and the boss says I cannot take any vacation right now.
The concept of not being able to go on vacation is foreign to them. They just do not understand the concept and it keeps going right over their heads. So how do I teach this concept to them and have them actually get it. I am not sure if they are just delusional or in denial about me not being able to go, I have to really hammer this home to them.
I feel that if they still keep asking me and do not take no for an answer, that I am going have to get really verbally abusive and intimidating towards them, cause I don't know how else to deal with people who do not understand the concept of no.
Earlier in the thread you said you could get the time off.
There is absolutely no reason to "get really verbally abusive and intimidating towards them".
At this point, instead of making excuses, you're probably better off saying "Sorry but I just don't want to go".
Earlier in the thread you said you could get the time off.
There is absolutely no reason to "get really verbally abusive and intimidating towards them".
At this point, instead of making excuses, you're probably better off saying
"Sorry but I just don't want to go".
...
If you can be assertive OP, do this, as above. Just tell them. No need for much explanation. You need to make a stand....it's hard to do with parents....but necessary.
Earlier in the thread you said you could get the time off.
There is absolutely no reason to "get really verbally abusive and intimidating towards them".
At this point, instead of making excuses, you're probably better off saying "Sorry but I just don't want to go".
An awful lot of drama over this...
Well I thought I could get the time off, but now my boss is short handed and says he needs me and I have to do it, cause I don't have any real vacation time yet I was told. So now I may not be able to. Sorry for leaving that part out.
I don't want to get abusive of course, just getting frustrated with them.
Well I thought I could get the time off, but now my boss is short handed and says he needs me and I have to do it, cause I don't have any real vacation time yet I was told. So now I may not be able to. Sorry for leaving that part out.
I don't want to get abusive of course, just getting frustrated with them.
You don't need to be abusive. You can't help it if they don't understand reality. Tell them you can't go because your boss is short handed and you don't have any vacation time yet. Politely ask them to stop bringing it up because it isn't going to change.
Easy for me to say, right? I'd probably lose it and start yelling at them to stop asking and to start treating me like an adult.
You don't need to be abusive. You can't help it if they don't understand reality. Tell them you can't go because your boss is short handed and you don't have any vacation time yet. Politely ask them to stop bringing it up because it isn't going to change.
Easy for me to say, right? I'd probably lose it and start yelling at them to stop asking and to start treating me like an adult.
But the parents have offered to delay the trip until it works for him. No more excuses. Time to tell them straight up.
Well they keep asking me and asking me to come even though I keep telling them I have a new job, and the boss says I cannot take any vacation right now.
The concept of not being able to go on vacation is foreign to them. They just do not understand the concept and it keeps going right over their heads. So how do I teach this concept to them and have them actually get it. I am not sure if they are just delusional or in denial about me not being able to go, I have to really hammer this home to them.
I feel that if they still keep asking me and do not take no for an answer, that I am going have to get really verbally abusive and intimidating towards them, cause I don't know how else to deal with people who do not understand the concept of no.
Congratulations on finding a new job. I hope you like it better than your old job.
You don't have to teach them anything, or hammer anything home to them. Simply don't go. They'll get the message when they leave the house to start their vacation, and you don't leave with them. That's the only way it will finally sink in. In the meantime, when they bring it up, just say, "I'm not allowed any vacation time at work yet, remember?", and change the subject. If they persist, say, "I've already covered this. There's nothing more to say." Then leave the room.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
