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Old 07-09-2018, 02:41 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,713,925 times
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The bottom line here, OP, is that he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him.
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Old 07-09-2018, 03:04 PM
 
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One way to ease the hurt, OP, might be to surmise that he maybe does not think of himself as a fun person.

He didn't show up in Las Vegas because maybe he didn't think he would be fun enough for the time together in Las Vegas.

And maybe he opted out of July 4 because he doesn't feel that he could provide the fun that was maybe expected - maybe he just doesn't see himself as a fun person - so the avoidance on his part is due to that, rather than due to anything about you.

Couple that with having to work a full time job all last week.....think of it as maybe how he sees himself rather than anything about you.

It also seems like maybe he doesn't like the pressure of any 'special' time with you - and prefers just the casualness of his visits to Virginia to see his child in Virginia and seeing you then.

Last edited by matisse12; 07-09-2018 at 03:14 PM..
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Old 07-09-2018, 03:23 PM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,624,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
The bottom line here, OP, is that he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him.

Exactly, and he certainly didn't offer his place for the OP and her son to stay. NYC is probably the most expensive in the country when it comes to hotels, restaurants, etc. Yet no offer of putting them up for the few days they were there.
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Old 07-09-2018, 03:52 PM
 
1,702 posts, read 1,259,867 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Exactly, and he certainly didn't offer his place for the OP and her son to stay. NYC is probably the most expensive in the country when it comes to hotels, restaurants, etc. Yet no offer of putting them up for the few days they were there.
How absurd of you to assume he could put anyone up if he wanted to. He’s a 40 year old who has roommates in the south Bronx. I wouldn’t stay there if he offered. Not to mention that I don’t let him stay with me when he’s in Virginia. Every trip to Virginia he’s in a hotel.
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Old 07-09-2018, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Central New Jersey
2,516 posts, read 1,694,200 times
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Find yourself a steady guy and quit wasting this other guys time as well as your own
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Old 07-09-2018, 03:56 PM
 
1,702 posts, read 1,259,867 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
The bottom line here, OP, is that he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him.
I agree. That is the bottom line.
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Old 07-09-2018, 06:47 PM
 
Location: The ghetto
17,668 posts, read 9,148,339 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
The bottom line here, OP, is that he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
I agree. That is the bottom line.

I think it's far more complex than that. I can't pinpoint it but something isn't right with this guy. Let's not forget that he paid for his share of the Vegas trip and then didn't show up.
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Old 07-09-2018, 08:22 PM
 
3,319 posts, read 1,814,733 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
I think it's far more complex than that. I can't pinpoint it but something isn't right with this guy. Let's not forget that he paid for his share of the Vegas trip and then didn't show up.
IMO, something isn't right about both these folks behaviors, as the push/pull is seemingly unpredictable.
Expectations are not mutual or something is out of whack here, no?
Either have a heart to heart, or time to say goodbye.
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Old 07-09-2018, 10:24 PM
 
1,702 posts, read 1,259,867 times
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I just watched a video on social media and the woman said (this is in reference to romantic relationships and cheating but I felt it applies here) if you’re not going to leave why bring it up? Why make everybody miserable if you’re (me) not willing to let go? I seriously doubt I’ll ever get an answer to this. He’ll just say he was there and got busy / I paid for half the trip what’s the big deal. First he’ll let the time pass to where I’m not mad anymore and he’ll offer me something. He knows me and I know him. I guess these 10+ pages have lead to me realizing that I will never plan another trip involving him and I need to realize maybe the friendship I think I have doesn’t exist on the level I think it does.
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Old 07-09-2018, 11:34 PM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,624,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
How absurd of you to assume he could put anyone up if he wanted to. He’s a 40 year old who has roommates in the south Bronx. I wouldn’t stay there if he offered. Not to mention that I don’t let him stay with me when he’s in Virginia. Every trip to Virginia he’s in a hotel.

Oh my, and you cut off his Netflix, and he lives in a horrible area and has to have roommates.

I really don't get you at all(and I think others feel the same), if someone was a no show like he was for Vegas, regardless of whether he paid his half or not, without a really good explanation(like they were in a car crash and couldn't talk or text)that would have been it for me in regards to any future plans.

Yet you continue, you should have just gone to NYC, with absolutely NO EXPECTATIONS on his part. The fact that he gave you one evening with dinner and showed you and your son around, been more than happy, and that should have been it.
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