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But to answer another posters question, no she can not do stairs well. She has a hard time going up stairs because of her weight
Why do you even think she'd want to swim then? I seriously think you might be worried about a non issue.... she said the family would like to come over and swim. I wouldn't assume she would even attempt to climb a ladder if she is that heavy. She's probably hoping to come along and sit in the shade and visit.
Why do you even think she'd want to swim then? I seriously think you might be worried about a non issue.... she said the family would like to come over and swim. I wouldn't assume she would even attempt to climb a ladder if she is that heavy. She's probably hoping to come along and sit in the shade and visit.
You could sort of put it on you as your problem. Like ....About the pool. I have a problem. We couldn't afford the deck this year and the only thing that came with the pool was a ladder that holds up to 250 lbs. So....big plans for next summer for you and me and how about we (do whatever) this weekend.
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Originally Posted by Diana Holbrook
You don't have to say out loud it's about her weight. I would tell her it just has a rinky-dink ladder.... she will already by thinking of how awkward that would be to navigate. You don't have to say it.
If there is a cool shady place for her to sit, she might just want to visit and let the kids swim, she may not intend to swim anyway.
This looks to be the least offensive and yet the most delicate way to approach it, but just my opinion on your present dilemma. Best wishes in finding the best approach AND maintaining your long friendship as well.
Many great scenarios and answers here for you CGab but what you say (bolded below) is the truth of the matter and your dear friend knows it as well.
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Originally Posted by CGab
I agree! And we have strict rules on everything related to the pool because we have kids and their friends come over to swim, so it's not like I'm picking on her or anything. A pool is a liability and I have to protect not only my guests, but my family as well.
But to answer another posters question, no she can not do stairs well. She has a hard time going up stairs because of her weight and she would also be too wide for the ladder.
Has she specifically said that she wants to swim or is it about kids swimming? I'd say that the pool isn't finished for a swim party yet, that the less than desirable ladder in and out is for the very agile and that you are making do this year but if they want to come over for a cookout the kids can swim with supervision. For the outing, the adults stay out of the pool. Small sacrifice for a friend.
Why do you even think she'd want to swim then? I seriously think you might be worried about a non issue.... she said the family would like to come over and swim. I wouldn't assume she would even attempt to climb a ladder if she is that heavy. She's probably hoping to come along and sit in the shade and visit.
I'm pretty sure she wants to swim as well and her size bothers her, but not enough to not put on a swim suit and to try to get into the pool. My DH said she would snap the ladder......and he wasn't kidding when he said it.
Why do you even think she'd want to swim then? I seriously think you might be worried about a non issue.... she said the family would like to come over and swim. I wouldn't assume she would even attempt to climb a ladder if she is that heavy. She's probably hoping to come along and sit in the shade and visit.
This is what I was thinking too. Or alternately, surely she would opt for hanging out in the shade and not try to climb the ladder as soon as she sees your set up.
I really think it's your friend's responsibility to be aware of her size and the safety issues surrounding that. We had an obese child come to our home, sit down on a tricycle and break it. She also damaged a bed (the woodframe) by jumping on it. She's not coming back here.
But in all honesty... it's unsafe. You know it, and as soon as she sees the ladder she'll know it too.
Also, it's not just the ladder you have to worry about. Say she gets in, somehow... how is she going to get out? Having 400 lbs on the rim of the pool will most certainly collapse it. There goes your pool, a few thousands of gallons of water, the damage it would cause, not to mention a ruined day and the embarrassment it would cause to your friend.
Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode with the guy who wouldn't give George a cashmere sweater for the fear that George's oversized head would have stretched out the sweater too much
I'm pretty sure she wants to swim as well and her size bothers her, but not enough to not put on a swim suit and to try to get into the pool. My DH said she would snap the ladder......and he wasn't kidding when he said it.
Just have a 30 year friend talk with her.....you could even suggest getting a smaller kiddie like pool that her bad legs would allow her to step in and out of and she could sit in that while you others are in the larger pool.....do your best to include your long time friend...you don't have to include her all the time but sometimes would be great for her....especially during this terrible heat wave much of the world is currently experiencing...
Thanks for your post! These are my thoughts exactly. The ladder can easily break, not to mention the side of the pool if the ladder collapses. Not only do I not want her to wreck my new pool, but I definitely do not want her getting hurt! Pools are a major liability and my DH and myself are committed to keeping my yard safe. We just recently put up a fence as well with locks.
Mod cut.
Your friend is very selfish, her first thoughts should be "how would I even get in the pool", second thought who wants to have to look at her in a bathing suit.
Pools are a major liability, you don't have someone this size in an above the ground pool.
Someone suggested a kiddie pool, excellent idea.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 07-27-2018 at 07:27 AM..
Reason: Off-topic.
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