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Old 08-11-2018, 06:39 PM
 
98 posts, read 134,447 times
Reputation: 193

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I really need some advice here: Two years ago our son married a lovely young woman. They each have children from previous marriages. We moved to Florida after they were married and we get to see them several times a year when they come to visit us. We are conservatives and my daughter-in-law's parents are very left-wing. They know our politics and yet they post very anti-conservative posts on Facebook. We are on Facebook but we don't post about politics. My daughter-in-law just told us that her parents have free air miles coming and they want to coordinate our calendars to come down to visit us. I can't think of anything worse than having to entertain them here knowing that our political differences are sure to come up. My plan is to tell them that we love their daughter and the children and that because of our political differences, we parents should confine our socializing to times when we are all together with everyone. That way we can be cordial and maintain some kind of relationship. Is there a downside to saying this? I don't want to pretend that we are busy. I think it's better to let them know how we feel.

 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:06 PM
 
643 posts, read 327,172 times
Reputation: 1329
Handle it like my son-in-law did last Christmas.

Controversial aunt pipes up.........." well, what do you think about Trump "?

son-in-law..........." two things we don't discus in my house. Politics and religion"

" those are my house rules "
 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:16 PM
 
16,390 posts, read 12,405,212 times
Reputation: 59501
Or when a controversial topic comes up, just say "it's no secret that we're on opposite ends of the political spectrum. In the interest of family harmony, let's agree not to discuss political topics, okay?"
 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:18 PM
 
1,644 posts, read 1,657,910 times
Reputation: 6237
My Husband and I make it plain to both of our families that we don't discuss political and religion.
 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:28 PM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,574,545 times
Reputation: 36267
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieC View Post
I really need some advice here: Two years ago our son married a lovely young woman. They each have children from previous marriages. We moved to Florida after they were married and we get to see them several times a year when they come to visit us. We are conservatives and my daughter-in-law's parents are very left-wing. They know our politics and yet they post very anti-conservative posts on Facebook. We are on Facebook but we don't post about politics. My daughter-in-law just told us that her parents have free air miles coming and they want to coordinate our calendars to come down to visit us. I can't think of anything worse than having to entertain them here knowing that our political differences are sure to come up. My plan is to tell them that we love their daughter and the children and that because of our political differences, we parents should confine our socializing to times when we are all together with everyone. That way we can be cordial and maintain some kind of relationship. Is there a downside to saying this? I don't want to pretend that we are busy. I think it's better to let them know how we feel.

Why are you on their Facebook pages? They're entitled to their views just as you are entitled to yours.

You're going onto their FB pages and getting annoyed because of their politics, don't go on their FB page. That's like someone who watches Fox news watching MSNBC and than getting annoyed, when you know full well their perspective isn't yours. Makes no sense.


Yes, there is a downside. You could start a big rift with you DIL, which could have ramifications that could last a long time.


It would be different if you had them in your home before or several dinners and after asking not to discuss politics due to your differences, they kept it up. They didn't do that, they posted their views on their FB page.


I would go along with it, and if politics come up you politely say and in a somewhat joking manner " we don't discuss politics" and change the subject.
 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,056,304 times
Reputation: 51113
Just to clarify. Are you saying that her parents want to visit you and your husband when your adult children are not visiting? Are they expecting to stay at your house or just meet a time or two for dinner or activities during their vacation?

----------------
Do you have other friends, neighbors, relatives or coworkers that you socialize with who also are not conservatives, or do you limit all of your social interactions to people who share your viewpoints?

What if your son and/or DIL are or became more liberal. Would you still talk to them and socialize with them?

Are you thinking that her parents post their political views on social media just to annoy the two of you? Is it possible that her parents have dozens, maybe hundreds, of other friends and that is to whom they are addressing those posts?
 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:38 PM
 
Location: NYC
16,061 posts, read 26,692,634 times
Reputation: 24848
You are all adults. I have very different political views than my mother and FIL and we can talk very respectfully or just not at all.

You’re thinking the worst is going to happen. It may be a wonderful visit. Do you like them as people? That’s what matters.
 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:49 PM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,574,545 times
Reputation: 36267
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Just to clarify. Are you saying that her parents want to visit you and your husband when your adult children are not visiting? Are they expecting to stay at your house or just meet a time or two for dinner or activities during their vacation?

----------------
Do you have other friends, neighbors, relatives or coworkers that you socialize with who also are not conservatives, or do you limit all of your social interactions to people who share your viewpoints?

What if your son and/or DIL are or became more liberal. Would you still talk to them and socialize with them?

Are you thinking that her parents post their political views on social media just to annoy the two of you? Is it possible that her parents have dozens, maybe hundreds, of other friends and that is to whom they are addressing those posts?
I think the OP is making drama when there really isn't an issue., There is no indication this couple has a history of bringing up politics with her and her husband.

They're posting their views on Facebook, which they are allowed to do.

The OP should be old enough to remember the saying "I don't agree with your views, but I will defend your right to say them", that used to be the norm in this country, agree to disagree.

No reason to try and bring in more liberal people to throw into the mix, plenty of subjects to talk about besides politics.

As I said in my other post unless there is a history where there was a scene in a restaurant or a heated discussion with the DIL's parents(and there doesn't seem to be) in the past, there is no reason to make an issue of this.

For all the OP knows the DIL may have said to her parents, my in-laws are very conservative so no politics in front of them.
 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:54 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,011 posts, read 52,457,444 times
Reputation: 52522
I think it's just a better bet to not talk politics at all. I find it annoying when people spew some crap you total don't agree with and they act like you do and you're sitting there trying to decide to ignore it or contradict them. It puts you in a weird place.

I just started a thread about that same idea in this same forum.
 
Old 08-11-2018, 07:57 PM
 
98 posts, read 134,447 times
Reputation: 193
Interesting responses. Thanks for your different points of view.
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