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Old 08-24-2018, 08:44 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,102,689 times
Reputation: 32726

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Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Most of the people responding to this thread seem to have missed the bolded part.
If they aren't honest, it will look like they are avoiding socializing with their friends and family.
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Old 08-24-2018, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Staten Island, NY
3,614 posts, read 1,728,998 times
Reputation: 2740
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairMindedLL View Post
Hubby and I have had some large unexpected expenses come up and are revamping our budget very carefully. We have friends and family who sometimes suggest going out to eat or to expensive events that just aren’t in our budget right now. What are some good phrases to use to say “that’s too expensive” without revealing our financial challenges or sounding like we’re constantly poor-mouthing everything?
To borrow a phrase from the Late Nancy Reagan, "Just say no." There is nothing wrong with saying no and not giving a reason.
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Old 08-24-2018, 09:09 PM
 
17,433 posts, read 13,206,904 times
Reputation: 32797
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Most of the people responding to this thread seem to have missed the bolded part.

I didn't

Just say "I can't afford it"
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Old 08-24-2018, 10:09 PM
 
2,129 posts, read 1,769,493 times
Reputation: 8758
Like this:

"We can't afford that."

And then if they go all nosey-Parker on you, change the subject. Although I would just tell them it's none of their business. Nobody gets nosey-Parker with me twice.

And no, I did NOT miss the "bolded part" either. Pu ssy-footing around is just a waste of time and energy.
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Old 08-25-2018, 01:03 AM
 
Location: Canada
14,723 posts, read 14,892,538 times
Reputation: 34780
I just say I can't afford that at present but I'd like to do that sometime in the future when I've budgeted for it. If somebody gets pushy for explanations I tell them my financial affairs aren't open for discussion with anyone who isn't already contributing to my budget.

I don't bother saying "why do you ask?" because I feel that's an invitation to them to open further dialogue or offer their opinions about my finances and even if they did offer a plausible reason for asking I'm still going to have to tell them that it's none of their business anyway. So for me there's no point in saying "why do you ask?"

.
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Old 08-25-2018, 05:55 AM
 
51,619 posts, read 25,691,824 times
Reputation: 37806
Make the reasons you can't do some spendy activity about something other than money, something outlandish.

"We'd love to go to dinner. But the last time we were at the Hoity-Toity Restaurant, the waiter kept making passes at Don and we had big fight because he wouldn't quit encouraging him. Seems like everywhere we go, the waiters make passes at Don and I'm tired of it. Let's go to the Chinese Buffet House and avoid the whole waiter problem."

"While I'd love a weekend in New York, shop a bit, see some Broadway shows, last time I was there a hurricane hit. What a mess. Let's go to the movies."

"No trip to Europe for me. Last time I was there, a war broke out. How about dinner at Greek restaurant? "

"Would love to go for a beach weekend. Soon as I lose 50 pounds and can fit in my polka dot bikini."

Last edited by GotHereQuickAsICould; 08-25-2018 at 06:46 AM..
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Old 08-25-2018, 06:51 AM
 
6,507 posts, read 4,912,484 times
Reputation: 7952
I think the blackmail response is great! I will have to use it some day

Quote:
Originally Posted by FairMindedLL View Post
Yes, I have one family member in particular who asks pointed personal questions. It seems everybody has one of those in their family, don’t they?
My family member won't ask personal questions, but rather they will give snide remarks and reasons why your reasoning is wrong, ending with muttering under their breath:

"Hey, we should do xyz"
"I'm sorry, I can't because <insert reason>"
"Oh well, if you do this and that, the reason doesn't matter. Or you should do A. Or maybe B. Well you never want to spend time with anyone anyway."

(last sentence is sarcastically muttered)

So I started to just say "I'm sorry, I have plans" and the responses via text can go on for days. Even better, this family member brings another family member into the mess and I get double teamed. Fun



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel View Post
just like when i decline food for whatever reason without saying ooh yuck or that's gross or i'm allergic (which is none of anyone's business and not a conversation i want to go into) , i say "i am on a food plan at this time"
haha same family member as above, who is often on a drink plan (brings their own water, or their own sugar stuff to pour into said water), will pick on anyone who does turns down food at the table, unless it is a known disliked food from childhood. You know, because it's always ok to cheat just once because you're with family, even if you've developed an allergy to said food.
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Old 08-25-2018, 08:08 AM
 
236 posts, read 194,577 times
Reputation: 596
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
You simply say "Why do you ask?", it shuts them right up for the most part. It's a great response for any question asked that you don't feel they need an answer to.
Good one! I love that. It puts the focus on the person being rude and forces them to own up to their rudeness
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Old 08-25-2018, 08:23 AM
 
12,003 posts, read 11,854,088 times
Reputation: 22684
"We're budgeting to help this wonderful little charity in Ukraine that helps over 1,000 orphans in ten different orphanages, in addition to about a hundred older kids who've aged out and are on their own. Let me tell you ALL about it!"

Then do so, in great detail, and conclude with "You are so interested in everything - how much do you want to contribute? It's tax-exempt and you'll be doing the Lord's work!"

I often tell telephone scammers all about this great little charity and ask them for donations, if time permits and I don't just hang up on 'em instead.

(The charity, Bible Orphan Ministry, actually is real and does great work with and for kids who have nothing and no one, all on a shoestring budget. I am not affiliated with it, but am a supporter. If you or anyone else would like more info., send me a PM).
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Old 08-25-2018, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Arizona
8,247 posts, read 8,599,140 times
Reputation: 27581
Quote:
Originally Posted by LGR_NYR View Post
To borrow a phrase from the Late Nancy Reagan, "Just say no." There is nothing wrong with saying no and not giving a reason.
If you say no without a reason you can forget ever being invited again.
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