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Probably not, but chances are if she’s putting the OP on hold regularly, she’s probably doing this to many other people as well. This behavior is rude. The OP’s time is no less important than the time of the various family members in question. If the friend needs to take the call, the polite response is “Hey, I really need to take this call, can I call you back” unless it is going to be a short call. I have friends/family members who call and get calls and they may take it for a few minutes to figure out what is going on, but when they realize it is going to be a long discussion or there is an issue that needs to be resolved, they will hang up and call later when they realize that the hold time is not appropriate. I don’t think that is an unreasonable request for the OP to have.
What is “probably” is just a guess and totally irrelevant and nobody has said the op’s request is unreasonable or that the friend isn’t being rude.
The bolded part, there is no guarantee that the adult children will step up to the plate when the time comes, in fact when you have adult children who are almost middle aged having mommy pay their bills and make appts for them, you think they're suddenly going to become responsible?
These are usually the ones who want to place mom the minute they think she needs any help. They can barely function themselves, have relied on the parent so long, they're not capable of now being the parent when the role reversal comes.
In a perfect world it would work out that way, but I can think of several situations where the parents were amazing and the adult children didn't want to be bothered when the time came.
I was thinking the same thing. If Mommy is still making doctor's appointments, handling legal problems, and paying bills for her adult children who are in their 30s and 40s than she is probably in her mid/late 60s or 70s. I shudder to think how her children would handle it if Mom had a sudden emergency or needed their help. The OP already said that her children did not step up to help their mother during previous times of need.
the OP's request in unreasonable..and her friend isn't being rude.
I respectfully disagree. If a friend constantly interrupts the conversation and puts you on hold it’s rude and not much different than having lunch with a friend who keeps interrupting lunch by texting someone else and ignoring you. If you are okay with being treated that way so be it.
the OP's request in unreasonable..and her friend isn't being rude.
It's not unreasonable to expect someone to have a conversation about something other than their family. If someone can't stop talking about one thing all the time, they are BORING. I wonder if OP's friend ever asks other people how they're doing, what's going on in their lives? I bet never.
I was thinking the same thing. If Mommy is still making doctor's appointments, handling legal problems, and paying bills for her adult children who are in their 30s and 40s than she is probably in her mid/late 60s or 70s. I shudder to think how her children would handle it if Mom had a sudden emergency or needed their help. The OP already said that her children did not step up to help their mother during previous times of need.
Exactly, all of a sudden they're going to b able to handle medical and legal issues concerning their mother. When they can't currently handle making a Dr. appt or traffic tickets? Not likely.
Exactly, all of a sudden they're going to b able to handle medical and legal issues concerning their mother. When they can't currently handle making a Dr. appt or traffic tickets? Not likely.
I'm already prepping my 17 yr old for things like this. He had a dr apt and I said, "Pay attention to the kinds of questions I ask. This may be the last time I go in to see the doctor with you. YOU are your best healthcare advocate. If you don't understand what they are saying, keep asking questions until you do."
I feel strongly that you have to equip children with the means to take care of themselves. Otherwise, your passing will leave them lost and devastated.
I respectfully disagree. If a friend constantly interrupts the conversation and puts you on hold it’s rude and not much different than having lunch with a friend who keeps interrupting lunch by texting someone else and ignoring you. If you are okay with being treated that way so be it.
Yes...but the OP KNOWS this about her friend....so it's either you tolerate it, and remain friends (as usual)...or you drop the friendship, leave a wonderful women in tears...and move on.
That's not I would do...but like you said..."so be it".
I have many friends who have certain "quirks" or things they do I don't agree with...but yes, as you said...I'm "OK with being treated that way"...it doesn't hurt me, and I care for my friends enough to remain their friends despite their peculiarities, or rudeness, whatever you want to call it.....doesn't bother me in the least..
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