Family member asking about a city nearby that they're visiting: invitation? (person, sister)

[PuppiesandKittens]

I have a sibling who travels every now and then to a city a few hours away from mine (but an easy train trip away). The sibling goes for a football game. I used to live there and I like going back (although football is boring to me). The sibling keeps asking me for advice about where to stay, what to see, etc.--and even kept texting questions back and forth to our parents when the sibling was walking through my old neighborhood (a college campus) during the last visit.

Some people in my family are pretty direct, and if the sibling were inviting me to come up and hang out while the sibling is in that city, I'd expect to be told that directly. That hasn't happened.

However, wouldn't a normal person mention, "since it's your old town and since you're nearby, and since we see each other only once or twice a year, you're welcome to come hang while I'm there"?

Or would the normal person in my situation just say, "if you want to hang out while you're visiting there, let me know"?

Confused if this is intended to be a suggestion to come visit or not.

Thanks.

[elyn02]

What I have said in the past is "I would love to see you again so if you want some company, just let me know."

[codergirl]

The person sounds very thoughtless and inconsiderate to me.Yes..if you have a sibling that you know is coming close to your town or passing through...you would have expected that sibling to say....'hey, i'm going to be passing through or close to your town on such and such dates.Do you want to meet up to hang out around that time'?
Now how hard can it be for this sibling to have said something like that,,,IF they wanted to hang out with you.Maybe they're going to be with someone and they're not looking to hang out with the sibling either...who knows.

[KaraG]

If they're coming for the football game, they may have plans before and after with other fans or friends. That's usually an all day thing with lots of other related things to do.

With that in mind, I'd definitely ask if they have time to fit me in this trip, that I'd love to see them while they're in town.

My husband's sister never came to visit us in the ten years we lived here. We're always the ones to make the drive to her house. Then we found out that she actually vacationed 2 hours away and never told us. We would've loved to have had them stop by or we would've gone to see them. I don't know, people are different. We're always the ones who make the effort, but that's okay.

[PuppiesandKittens]

Originally Posted by KaraG

If they're coming for the football game, they may have plans before and after with other fans or friends. That's usually an all day thing with lots of other related things to do.

With that in mind, I'd definitely ask if they have time to fit me in this trip, that I'd love to see them while they're in town.

My husband's sister never came to visit us in the ten years we lived here. We're always the ones to make the drive to her house. Then we found out that she actually vacationed 2 hours away and never told us. We would've loved to have had them stop by or we would've gone to see them. I don't know, people are different. We're always the ones who make the effort, but that's okay.

Thanks. Ouch. Relatives have done that to me, too (vacationing in my city or really close by) and not telling me. I view that as “don’t bother keeping in touch” and thus don’t bother after that.

[CatzPaw]

Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens

I have a sibling who travels every now and then to a city a few hours away from mine (but an easy train trip away). The sibling goes for a football game. I used to live there and I like going back (although football is boring to me). The sibling keeps asking me for advice about where to stay, what to see, etc.--and even kept texting questions back and forth to our parents when the sibling was walking through my old neighborhood (a college campus) during the last visit.

Some people in my family are pretty direct, and if the sibling were inviting me to come up and hang out while the sibling is in that city, I'd expect to be told that directly. That hasn't happened.

However, wouldn't a normal person mention, "since it's your old town and since you're nearby, and since we see each other only once or twice a year, you're welcome to come hang while I'm there"?

Or would the normal person in my situation just say, "if you want to hang out while you're visiting there, let me know"?

Confused if this is intended to be a suggestion to come visit or not.

Thanks.

You seem to be hung up on what you think a "normal person" would do.

If you would like to go to that town when they are there, just ask what you said a "normal person" in your situation would say: "if you want to hang out while you're visiting there, let me know"

I suppose they'll tell you yes or no.

[hertfordshire]

I'm confused why you went to such great lengths to conceal the gender of your sibling?

[MinivanDriver]

How hard could it possibly be for you to say, "Hey, if you get a chance, I'd love to see you"? I mean, it's your sibling for crying out loud.

I cannot believe that such common sense has to be spoon-fed to people.

[Debsi]

You could try being one of the direct people in your family.

[PuppiesandKittens]

Originally Posted by Debsi

You could try being one of the direct people in your family.

True, although then the response would be a direct, "No, I don't want to see you."