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I'm a 25 year old female. I work FT and live with my boyfriend. I have NO friends. I DO HAVE some great coworkers and some not so great... Over the past couple of years I have gone out with co-workers after work or for lunch and though we get along I we never become what I could call "friends".
I've thought about joining sites like Meet Up, but when I see all those categories I feel like I won't fit in. It reminds me of High School all over again. I feel like I will go to a meet up and they are going to tell me "No, you don't belong your not a big enough fan of (fill in the blank)." Does anyone else have this issue?
I want to develop friendships but I have no idea where to start. Everyone is also just so busy, and I get that too. What has worked for you??
Key idea is to find whatever your interest is and pursue that. If it's sports, you meet friends on your sports team, or at a fitness class at the gym. If you like cooking, take cooking classes. Like art? Start going to openings and artist talks and open studios.
But you really need to have an interest first. Otherwise, you're going to just meet up with people one time and find you don't have anything in common.
If you're entrepreneurial, you could start something. Someone in my neighborhood is running a storytelling group for adults, something like Moth talks. She gets a group coming to her place on a Sunday evening to listen to storytellers. I suspect if she gets the same people coming to all the events, people will get to know each other. I know other people who enjoy gardening and they are on the neighborhood beautification group.
One guy is hosting a local dinner group for tech and start-up entrepreneurs. Another guy started a fathers-night-out drinking group at a local bar. Anyway, hopefully you get the idea.
I lost a lot of friends over the years. They get married, have kids, move away, etc.
Like other posters have stated find activities in which you can meet people. Meet-up, Discover Outdoors is another great company, event brite, etc.
Also, co-workers are just that co-workers. You see them Mon to Fri for 8 to 12 hours. (that's 40 to 60 hours a week that you see those people. I bet you don't see friends, family or your boyfriend for that amount of time) Why would you want to see more of them?? I need a break from my co-workers.
Co-workers can become good friends sometimes depending on the circumstances. Not all co-workers spend all day together 5 days a week and if you have something in common, you can meet them outside of work. But I agree that other activities like going to an independent lecture (or lecture series), taking a class/course or joining clubs can also sometimes lead to making friends. I think one has to make more of effort when one is no longer in school and in the regular workforce or a bit older in order to make lasting friendships.
I'm a 25 year old female. I work FT and live with my boyfriend. I have NO friends. I DO HAVE some great coworkers and some not so great... Over the past couple of years I have gone out with co-workers after work or for lunch and though we get along I we never become what I could call "friends".
I've thought about joining sites like Meet Up, but when I see all those categories I feel like I won't fit in. It reminds me of High School all over again. I feel like I will go to a meet up and they are going to tell me "No, you don't belong your not a big enough fan of (fill in the blank)." Does anyone else have this issue?
I want to develop friendships but I have no idea where to start. Everyone is also just so busy, and I get that too. What has worked for you??
i did a lot of meet ups when i wanted to make new friends. and the people were really welcoming. my favorite meet up where food ones. i made a few good friends that way.
you don't know until you try. you've grown a lot since high school,
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Sports leagues, work (I don't consider these real friendships until one of us moved on and stayed friends), music scene efforts, alumni association work... but mostly friends of friends or made friends with other social connections.
It sounds like your problem is mostly in your mind. Do you suffer from social anxiety? Don’t worry, many people who join interest groups do it because they want to meet people they have things in common with. You won’t stand out. You’ll blend in. High school is over.
It’s great fun to take a class or join a club. If you don’t know much, you’ll learn. People are often very warm and sharing, in my experience.
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