U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-09-2018, 09:41 AM
 
3,412 posts, read 3,219,674 times
Reputation: 3853

Advertisements

My husband and I were invited to a surprise birthday party in a couple of weeks. The spouse is throwing the party and they invited upwards of over 100 people. It's a milestone birthday. Should we get a gift? If we should, what do we get? We are friendly with the couple but not see each other socially every month friendly. I had the thought of buying the birthday person a drink at the party (it's at a restaurant) but a friend of mine told me that the spouse was paying for certain alcohol/appetizers and music.

My husband and I are at a loss. I'm not sure birthday person expects a gift, but the spouse does. Spouse was out with some friends and they were discussing the party. Spouse asked the group what they were going to get birthday person.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-09-2018, 10:06 AM
 
5,335 posts, read 5,296,905 times
Reputation: 12489
Ask the spouse or get a gift card.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2018, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
5,102 posts, read 5,387,964 times
Reputation: 12612
A bottle of wine or liquor.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2018, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,834 posts, read 14,341,548 times
Reputation: 30683
Honestly, I might be tempted to decline the invitation. You don’t know this person well, and spouse expects gifts. About 100 guests. This is too much.

I think an appropriate gift might be a contribution to a charity made in birthday boy’s honor. You could choose a charity linked to his special interest, or another respectable, local charity.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2018, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,005 posts, read 17,327,635 times
Reputation: 41271
While I have attended several large milestone birthday parties, NONE of the people expected a birthday gift. In fact, all of the invitations indicated no gifts.

I am pretty shocked that the spouse expects people to bring gifts, especially since it is a such a large party. I can see bringing a bottle of wine or gift card for a restaurant or a book or something to a small party held at someone's home or a restaurant but not a party for 100 people.

BTW, unless it is a very small group, I never recommend buying the birthday person a drink (as your gift). What if everyone at the party decided to do that? !00 guests. 100 drinks?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2018, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,156 posts, read 41,773,101 times
Reputation: 82886
OP, you can't go wrong bringing a little token gift. It's a milestone birthday. Just get something you would like to have, maybe a gift card to a local restaurant so they can experience it together.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2018, 12:34 PM
 
Location: on the wind
7,086 posts, read 2,899,892 times
Reputation: 23944
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
While I have attended several large milestone birthday parties, NONE of the people expected a birthday gift. In fact, all of the invitations indicated no gifts.

I am pretty shocked that the spouse expects people to bring gifts, especially since it is a such a large party. I can see bringing a bottle of wine or gift card for a restaurant or a book or something to a small party held at someone's home or a restaurant but not a party for 100 people.
This. Spouse is either greedy or desperate to impress. Suspect that this "milestone event" including gifts is really all about her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2018, 12:40 PM
 
5,335 posts, read 5,296,905 times
Reputation: 12489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
This. Spouse is either greedy or delusional. Actually sounds as if this milestone event is all about her.
Really? I'm shocked that you're shocked.

It's actually traditional in American culture to bring a gift for someone to a birthday party. People have even been known to bring something just when going over someones house for dinner. It's a thing. Man, people are such humbugs. Tis the holiday season, let your hair down.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2018, 01:18 PM
 
75 posts, read 27,350 times
Reputation: 252
Zuni festish of a buffalo. Get if off Etsy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2018, 01:24 PM
 
2,677 posts, read 1,069,237 times
Reputation: 5167
Going to a birthday party and not bring a birthday gift? Basic etiquette people. Don't be cheap.

We don't know the age of the birthday person. That would help a lot in deciding what to do.
For example if it is a friend's son or daughter then go. In any case ask the host for some ideas.

You made the short list so there must be something you contribute to the life of the host's family. I wouldn't shun it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top